Smokers and gum-chewers. They should all be shot, or at least unemployeed. Throw in coffee-slurpers also.
Uh geez. I know it’s minor, but the sentence “how are you today?” is far, far less annoyingly smarmy than “And how is Idlewild today?” I think he’s addressing me in the third person when it should be the second person, but it’s late and I’m confused. It’s annoying as all hell though. Every. Single Day.
Oh, and we have co-workers from many countries. Yes, some of them speak English less than perfectly. 99% of the time we can understand them just fine. So why, dear lord above, why, do you feel the need to speak in broken English to them? I asked one of my colleagues from South Asia about it, and he said he’d noticed it but didn’t really understand why the idiot does it, since my colleague understands English perfectly well.
I swear, I have to refrain from using patronising baby-talk back at him. We’re all professionals, this is not kindergarten. :mad:
Exist
The big girl that chooses as her favorite place to stand ANY doorway I may be trying to navigate through.
The one that brings elaborate, 3-part frozen cuisine that takes 10 minutes to microwave, along with different steps to mix, let rest, etc. While 5 other people are waiting to use the microwave and only an hour of lunch.
That one spoiled, immature, bratty little wanna-be Bitch, that suffers from diarrhea of the mouth, laziness of the ass, and unusually poor photogenic-ness. God I hate her.
The coworkers that are simultaneously my supervisors. The ones that always notice if you screw up the tiniest bit yet are completely oblivious to the small miracles you perform every day. Bastards.
I share an office with two other people. Sometimes they converse with each other, sometimes they converse with someone else who came in the office, I don’t pay any attention. I just sit there and do my job - quietly, because my job doesn’t involve talking to people very often. I’m not listening to anybody’s conversation…until I hear “Basandre’s so loud, isn’t she? Hahaha” “Yeah, we can barely hear ourselves talk over here, she should keep it down!”
Yes, thank you, you’ve just pointed out how terribly quiet I am while doing my job, now what am I supposed to say?
I had a co-worker who had to answer any question he heard anyone ask. If someone asked me a question and he didn’t have a clue about the answer, he would nevertheless answer for me with a totally irrelevant if related statement. Example:
Annie, when is the Big Boss coming in? Will he have the Zonker report finished?
CW: I heard Supervisor say she’ll be in around 12 to work on the Mundane report.
Then there was the co-worker who was convinced she could not hear the way I talked. She would make me repeat things seven or eight times, and then asked someone else “What did she say?”
There’s a girl near me who has sneezes that could be heard in France. I’m surprised I still have eardrums.
Just today she did it twice and even annoyingly said “Wow, that was kinda loud.”
Thanks for this thread.
*cracking of knuckles
*chomping of chimps
*clipping of fingernails
*microwaving of fish
*microwaving of burnt popcorn
*talking loudly on the telephone about personal issues
*talking to your cubemate for one hour a morning
*talking about your stupid diet
*posting weight watchers meeting notices in every breakroom even though none ever lose weight
*posting ads to sell a house, car, children’s playset, etc. in every breakroom
*coming into the workout room while I’m on the treadmill and leaving your ass in the bathroom stall for me to choke on when I go to take my shower
*horking, chortling, and sniffling
*bringing your babies, grandchildren, etc. in to show them off
Yeah, I’m pretty easily annoyed. 
One of my coworkers constantly whines. And I don’t mean complain like an adult. I mean whine like a child. Grating pitchiness and all. I think he’s developed it as some sort of cute (he thinks) tick, like a way to stay young. But he’s in graduate school. Working on a PhD! :smack:
At least once a day I hear some version of: " Aaaawww, Reeeed Stilettooooooos, he’s boooothering meeeeeee!"
Ack! It’s a good thing he’s so sweet. Otherwise I’d throttle him. :mad:
I would think that chomping on chimps would annoy most people.
What? I’m just sayin’…
Obnoxiously loud mouth noises of any kind (talking included, but I’m referring to eating noises in this instance) drive me absolutely batshit. For example, the co-worker with the chips I mentioned earlier also had this habit of inhaling really deeply when she’d take a bite of anything. If it wasn’t loud & crunchy, she’d roll and slop it around in her mouth and you could hear the glop, glop glop of it moving inside her gaping maw of a mouth. She always chewed with her mouth open, so the sound would be amplified. And just like with those chips I mentioned earlier, she was audible through doors, down the hall, anywhere. Ugh. It was sooooo gross.
My coworkers also like to microwave fish. That’s always a treat.
They microwave popcorn and try to get the last 1.73 kernals to pop, thereby nuking all the popped kernals and sending the office into Stinksville.
They order take-out everyday from the remaining three joints that will deliver. The other 375 places won’t deliver because they never get tips. Ordering takes 20 mins min. It takes another 15 mins for everyone to pony up the money and square up.
Compared to some of the stuff here my complaints are rather mild. My coworkers tend to talk too LOUDLY, and about inappropriate subject. I’m a journalist, so the list of innappropriate subjects is short, but they include:
- Hot womn, and what coworkers would do to them (this has gotten better recently)
- how everyone is doing in fantasy football
I also have a soworker whose desk is near mine who tends to talk to me while I am on the phone. It drives me nuts.
I’m annoyed by the women who park themselves right outside the washroom door (next to the water fountain, in front of the refrigerator and vending machines–which no longer stock pork rinds, but that’s another issue entirely) to gossip in low tones about whatever’s chapping their ass at work that day.
I could rant for days about one particular person, who’s constantly on the phone with her husband (I’d estimate about 4-5 calls between them per day), to discuss stupid shit. This in addition to the 4-5 calls she makes to friends and such. She’s also a major loud talker, loud enough that I can hear her when I go to the washroom and have to navigate around the gossiping women standing in front of the door. She’s also got a very annoying voice, sort of deep and brassy and twangy. In addition, she also smacks her lips when chewing anything (and often chews gum) and doesn’t pick her feet up when she walks. She also clips and files her nails at her desk.
I TOTALLY AGREE!!!
You said it perfectly.
I have always prided myself on being able to eat almost anything completely silently. Chips and popcorn included. I am a food noise nazi.
Someone who uses our microwave always seems to leave about 30 seconds on the timer. Can’t they hit Cancel so the microwave is ready for the next person to use? :mad:
Good one. For my former boss at least, that is true. I couldn’t relax simply being in the same room as him.
One of his habits has transfered to a colleague who I otherwise like. Getting me to write e-mails but put their name on them. Fcuk* off! I’m not having you take credit for my superior articulation and intelect.
[sub]*Mispelling delberate. Not sure if it’s ok to swear outside of the Pit.[/sub]
Maybe we should introduce her to Sneeze Guy in my office.
I used to work in an open office…drove me insane.
One woman used to burst into song several times throughout the day. At the top of her lungs…for 10 to 20 minutes at a time. I mean, what kind of mental deficient thinks the whole office wants to hear their sqwaking while they are trying to talk to clients on the phone?
The woman in the cubicle next to me would greet each caller by shreiking into the phone, “MUFFIN! How ARE you?!?” Yep…everyone was “Muffin”… bleah
And finally, the woman who thought it necessary to pass a card around and take up a collection for EVERYTHING (Someone’s canary died? Someone ran out of toilet paper? Dog had puppies? Suzie in accounting has a hangnail? Time to contribute!). And she would make a point to look at you sadly and tell you that if you didn’t kick in, you couldn’t sign the card (ooooo…there’s a threat! How ever will I survive?)I felt like I was being shaken down by Vinnie the Shark.
What doper had the co-worker who wore a wedding dress every day to work? (among other wierdness) I’m sure there must be TONS of annoying stuff a whacko like that is capable of.
Eating noises also drive me batty. I don’t have any job where I am eating with coworkers usually, so it is not a day-to-day annoyance in the work sense, but it IS an issue at the dinner table at home.
One reason I am very fond of dinner conversation, is because when people are talking, it drowns out the sound of them eating.
Though reminds me of something that happened once at work…
Two kids come in for lessons at the center. They are best friends and very clever about how to get their way by double-teaming a coach to overwhelm them and get them to cave. We have this director who just recently got hired, and it is very aggrivating because this director lets the kids get away with TONS of stuff, leaving us to deal with them whining, “But SHE said it was okay!” later on. Anyway, these two girls had Jamba juice drinks with them. They’re not supposed to have any food/drink at the computer, but the Director decided, “why not?” and I had to put up with them slurping their drinks…LOUDLY. Then, the next time they came in, it was a huge uphill battle to get them to do any work, because now they knew they could get away with breaking the rules (by bringing drinks) and I wasn’t gonna let them get away with it a second time…:mad: