The person in the next cube over is crunching loudly. Even half-deaf as I am, it’s driving me crazy. She’s on some sort on health kick (she’s about 5’ tall and 350 lbs) and has a cup of ultra-crunchy snack food to munch on. munch munch munch. It’s driving me up the wall!
StG
Presumably she’ll eventually get full and stop.
The woman across the hall from me never stops talking.
Oh, believe me, she can nosh all day…
StG
Several years ago I used to sit next to someone who ALWAYS had the sniffles. Every few seconds a sniff, then about once a minute that whole nasty back of the throat sniff thing, and the occassional hack and cough stuff, annoying AND disgusting. Putting on some music solved the problem. I’ve also kept earplugs at my desk for years for when I just want silence and there’s too many distractions.
Maybe someone should tell her that eating a bucket of granola isn’t a lot healthier than eating a bucket of fries.
The guy who used to sit right across from me, behind the cubicle wall, used to cough every 45 seconds. And it was a weak, pathetic little “cough, cough” for no apparent reason. All day long “cough, cough” … “cough, cough” … “cough, cough” … “cough, cough” … “cough, cough” … “cough, cough” …
I was really glad to hear he was leaving. My left eye was starting to twitch.
We have The Phlegm-Mover, the Lady Who Curses Out Her Kids, and The Cackling One.
I give TPM three chances to gross me the fuck out, then I go for a short walk.
TCO probably thinks she’s the life of the office, so “up” and vivacious! Little does she know we are emailing each other pictures of witches while she is joyfully shrieking on the phone.
I’m sure my office mates are happy that I’m quitting smoking.
Even with my headphones on and music playing I can hear her crunching. I may have to hold her down and pull all her teeth.
StG
For a number of reasons. I came within 5 feet of someone last week at Walmart who stunk so badly of stale cigarette smoke that I had to abandon the isle till she left.
g-fucking-ross.
I say good afternoon, my boss says ‘uh hu’ or ‘mm hm’
My cube mate is on an energy drink fast by some new pyra–, er health food company. He mixes this super-duper, miracle $2/serving powder with some water and ice, and shakes it. And shakes it some more. Envision the sound of someone making a margarita and shaking it in a stainless steel tumbler.
All morning long, I hear him shake and slurp, shake and slurp.
He really is a nice man or he’d be wearing his energy drink.
:smack:
He probably had gas, and was doing the “cough, cough” to cover a more offensive noise.
I had a guy sitting across from me who would fill a gallon-sized insulated cup (the bladder buster) with water and ice and then pour from it several times per day into a smaller cup. At first it sounded refreshing, but then it got annoying. I wanted to tell him to just get up and walk to the sink and refill his smaller cup. He left the department and took his cup with him.
A few years back I unintentionally solved this problem. The person in the next cube was eating his afternoon apple while I was on the phone to my wife. She asked me if I was eating something and I said no, it was the guy in the next cube. The guy stopped eating mid-crunch. I didn’t say it so he could hear it, but I guess he realized how loud his crunching was and stopped.
You could try something similar. Pretend to be on the phone when she’s crunching and say something similar. Maybe she’ll overhear and realize how loud she’s being.
Unless he could hear your wife’s question (and if he could, what were you doing on speakerphone?! :D), I think this may be a coincidence?
Dear Guy who whistles show tunes on his way to the printer: Don’t make me staple your lips shut.
I must admit, though, the mental image of a guy walking around with his lips actually stapled shut does make me laugh. 
I was using the handset and the crunching was loud enough that she could hear. I’m guessing that he correctly inferred that I was talking the noise he was making.
All the more reason for him to not make me want to do it.
