Mundane uses of Galifreyan technology...

Cafe Society
1

Let’s just say that for some strange reason, you find yourself in possession of two key pieces of Time Lord technology, the only problem is that both are badly damaged…

The Sonic Screwdriver only has the ability to drive screws…

The TARDIS (an early Type 40 with a damaged Chameleon Circuit, stuck in the form of the classic British Police Box) has lost the ability to travel outside the confines of the Earth, and the time circuits are badly stuffed, so it only has the ability to travel backwards/forwards in time 24 hours at the most, it still has the ability to travel anywhere on the planet, though

How would you use these damaged pieces of Time Lord technology?

Me, as a computer tech, I would find even a damaged “can only drive screws” Sonic Screwdriver incredibly useful, as it still drives screws, I wouldn’t need an entire toolbox of different size/bit configuration screws, it’d make my job a little bit easier, plus, the other techs would envy me, even if they weren’t Who fans…

The damaged TARDIS I would still find useful, I could sleep in as long as I wanted every work day and STILL manage to get to work by 8 AM every day, wake up at 2 or 3 in the afternoon, hop in the TARDIS and show up at work at 8 AM that morning…

Plus, if I wanted a long weekend, I could simply keep going back to Saturday morning at the end of the day

I could also finally travel the world, visit all the places I’d love to see, as well as hang out with my old college friends who now live down in Virginia (I live in Maine), without that horrible 12-14 hour drive to get there

And since the damaged TARDIS is still bigger on the inside, it would also be the ultimate RV/caravan

Basically, I’d treat the hobbled TARDIS as both my car, and my home-away-from-home RV/caravan

2

24 hours is plenty of time to check tomorrow’s lottery numbers. After accumulating a few million that way, I’d put my feet up for a while and think things over. You’d really keep working with an opportunity like that at your fingertips?

3

Too much of #1 and you will age noticeably quicker than everyone else

too many repeats of the same day and you won’t be able to sit on the couch, because of all the other versions of you. Fridge will be empty too!

4

Even a TARDIS that impaired (a re-TARDIS? :p) would still make you the most powerful person on the planet.

As for the sonic, that might not be that far off.

5

Let’s see - score one decent lottery winning (too many and you’d attract unwanted attention - you can win more than once, but separate them by some significant time) to be financially set for life.

Use TARDIS as main residence as well as traveling RV - not use that much time travel, but boy will it cut down on travel time to any location you care to name.

The sonic screwdriver would be handy and cool, but not as usual (to me) as the TARDIS.

6

You could only win the lottery once. But then you could use the money to make steady daily profits on the stock market. Buy shares one day, sell them the next after they have risen a couple of percent. Nothing too dramatic.

7

But what if somebody else is supposed to win the full jackpot as a fixed point in time? Wouldn’t that get the Reapers after you or something? :smiley:

8

If that happens then sign over your share to the “fixed point” winner, which should fix the problem as that person would then have the full jackpot, then try again.

9

The sonic’d join my multi-tool in my purse, as said multi-tool is dreadful at screwing things.

The TARDIS would be used primarily for travel, especially to cut down on time/expense to see my long distance bf - Every time the “I miss you, wish we could see each other more” conversation comes up, it inevitably ends with “Build me my TARDIS then, already!”
Would also be used as living and storage space, and I could move out of my parents house and live anywhere (and still make it to class on time)
Time travel would be used sparingly, 'cause of aging and other timey-wimey issues. At least would use it to get set up financially.
The massive closet and pool would also be nice to use…

10

Good thinking.

11

Exactly. I mean, consider the military implications alone: You could pop into a bad guy’s bunker, chuck out a bomb, and pop out again. No collateral damage outside the building whatsoever, and minimal risk to the TARDIS operator - he’d only be there a few seconds, after all.

Alternatively: Pop into a safe, or a nuclear weapons plant, or anywhere you want to be that other folks don’t want you to be. Steal items, take photos, whatever.

Also, if you still needed money for whatever reason, you could be the only delivery service on Earth that really could get things there “yesterday.”

12

Einstein Express: When it positively, absolutely has to be there yesterday.

From an old SNL skit…

13

Alternatively;
“TARDIS Express, when it absolutely, positively has to get there before you mailed it”

(not my invention, I read it online somewhere and it’s always stuck with me)

14

I’ve got that T-shirt! :slight_smile: