My wife remarked about a week ago that we never have sex to music, even though we’re both musicians. This got me thinking: that “even though we’re musicians” is exactly why. So much of our lives is listening actively and critically to music, it makes it difficult to have music in the background; we end up wanting to listen to it, or at least are distracted by it. We’ve both had several professors go on at length about the evils of passive music listening (like having music in the background at the mall). I wonder if there is some subconscious process going on that makes us shy away from music during sex for fear of being distracted.
So, musical dopers, do any of you have a similar experience? Does this make any senses at all? Am I totally nuts? (Don’t answer that.)
Music is both too distracting and too…“that’s what I do all day” to get me in the mood. We usually don’t even eat with music on because we end up listening to it and not talking to each other. For that matter, I don’t even drive to music very often.
Now a little peace and quiet…that turns me on! (even if I’m driving )
Let’s say it is a favorite album you’ve heard a bajillion times. You don’t have to concentrate on every note anymore. I am able to listen to music and have sex at the same time about as well as I can walk and chew gum simultaneously.
That’s basically why I don’t listen to music when I’m going to sleep. I listen too closely and I can’t relax. But it’s never been a problem with sex, although there are some artists I wouldn’t listen to then.
Good music still rewards you when you’re not giving it your full attention and it can enhance the mood.
As an amusing anecdote, one woman thought it was really sexy that I was a conductor. She wanted to try out a fantasy. I would put on a record and pretend I was the conductor while she blew my, ahem, flute. Not only did I not find it sexy, but downright weird.
I am not a musician, per se. I can play a few songs on a few different instruments and could probably be great if I were motivated, but I’m not. Music runs in our family, I am just too lazy/add/whatever to commit to one instrument long enough to be great.
That all having been said, I have always hung out with musicians. Not just those in my family, but some who have big names (I abhor name-dropping, don’t ask). I am the worst person to go to concerts with, because I will point out dropped notes, rushed rhythms, etc. It is truly annoying. For the same reasons, I don’t sleep with music on, work with music on or screw with music on – it is just too distracting. That is not to say I haven’t fucked like a mad rabbit to Tool, just that I normally prefer to either a) listen to music or b) do whatever else.
I can’t even sleep with classical music on, I find it waaaaaaaaaaaay too distracting.
My wife and I are both musicians, and I hadn’t thought about it until now, but we’ve never had sex with music on. I’m sure we’d both be distracted by it. I can’t go to sleep with music on, either. I don’t go to sleep, I listen to the music. Neither of us can bring ourselves to do music as aural wallpaper. There’s everywhere else we go for that. Home is the refuge from music-as-alternative-to-silence.
Unfortunately, I imagine that Let’s get it on will get both of us thinking of Jack Black in High Fidelity and I’m afraid that’s not going to help at all.
This is my feeling exactly. We had thread about this some time ago- Appropriate Music for Sex and I said basically the same thing that you’re saying. Music during sex is just a distraction for me. I don’t care how good or how “sexy” the music is.
The main thing for me is that the transitions between songs on a playlist or album take me out of the mood. That gap of silence between songs always distracts me. Furthermore, sex is just such a powerful, animal activity - the artificial human construct of music almost seems inappropriate to have in the background.
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