MPB in Salt Lake and moejoe - Well, it was a nice fantasy while it lasted. I won’t bank on #1, on my list, that’s for sure.
And yeah, if he wants to go back, I need to do everything I can to make it better for him because our power struggle could cause my son and what is best for him to get lost in the shuffle.
I appreciate your words of advice. It’s nice to see since I am up late tonight losing sleep over this and worrrying about it to the point of feeling nauseous.
The argument against is simple. He has a mental disorder, as will be verified by a psychologist. He was put at a disadvantage when he was interrogated, and lied to get out of trouble. None of the people with him can confess to giving him the cigarette, as they’d be in violation, too. Assuming no one else was watching, it’s his word against theirs.
And you’d be surprised with what you can do with the diagnosis that is already on your son. Schools buckle very easily to lawsuits–they don’t really have the money to defend themselves. Throw in a mental disorder, and they will not only cave but be extra nice.
I mean, my mom can’t get rid of a kid who has put physical violence against her and already has to be isolated from every other student. All because he has a mental disorder: ODD. Policies against violence completely don’t count against him.
This is entirely 100% bull. People who drag confessions out of people don’t respond to being nice to them. If you acquiesce, you will just be admitting it, cutting off any chance that a legitimate suit is possible. That’s exactly what your son did to get into this mess. You’re already fighting an uphill battle to undo the damage of one confession.
And they do respond well to threats. Heck, with a lawyer, I’d be surprised if this thing even made it to the courts. The one thing I learned in the brief time when I tried to become a teacher is that teachers really can’t win against parents. Many don’t even try.
And, heck, if the worst does happen, homeschooling is not the only answer. Everyone I’ve known that’s been expelled has gotten into another district, some without even moving. Heck, if you have to move, and can’t for monetary reasons, you can pay for a private school that can help him a lot more. And if you don’t have money for that, you could get disability like I have, and send the guy to a private school that would specialize in the disorder–assuming Medicaid wouldn’t pay for it already.
The decision the quote above is trying to get you to make is a false choice.
Um, Asperger’s and lack of structure don’t mix. And I see no reason to characterize the OP as pretending something isn’t happening. She was doing the behavioral stuff at home, if I read the OP correctly. Granted, she may need to do more, but that’s not the same as pretending nothing is happening.
And I’ve known plenty of kids that have fallen asleep in class. I’ve never known anyone to get suspended for it. Don’t try to characterize it as such a big deal and let off the teacher who jumped straight from sleeping to drug use–and apparently believes Reefer Madness was an accurate documentary.
Heck, my teachers knew kids smoked pot. As long as their grades didn’t slip, they didn’t care. And if they did slip, they failed them. They didn’t try to get the student expelled–as they actually care about the kid more than the rules. Like all good teachers.
Also, wasn’t it you, even sven, who said that it shouldn’t matter if someone even shows up to class as long as they get good grades? Why isn’t what’s good enough for you good enough for the OP’s kid?
Don’t have time to read the whole thread right now, but want to say: Get a drug test. Right away. If he’s clean, great, and you should make certain those interrogators all learn a lesson from it. If it’s dirty, you need to know that, and get him into treatment immediately. Even if you don’t think it’s a chronic problem, the record of him having been through treatment will prevent the case from going any further, and converts the information into a medical issue protected by HIPA.
IANA doctor or lawyer.
The school likely considers a cigarette a “controlled substance.”
And I know this thread has already gone a ways already, but passing out in class and being unable to be woken up is a MAJOR problem. Asperger’s or no, I’d say the teacher had the right to figure out what was going on.
It may be difficult or impossible to tell, but it’s possible what he smoked is “synthetic pot” (K2/Spice), particularly if you’re in a state where it hasn’t been made illegal yet. (I think it’s supposed to be emergency-scheduled by the DEA within a month, but may still be sold in some places.)
Effects similar to marijuana, but it apparently resembles potpourri and isn’t detectable by standard drug tests.
No. The son did NOT admit to breaking the law:
.
He admitted to taking 2 puffs of “a cigarette”. I don’t know the details of the law in Georgia so I could be wrong, but smoking itself is NOT illegal. It might be illegal to sell him tobacco, and perhaps the person who gave him the cigarette might be on the hook for something.
I’d also be surprised if the school had the ability to suspend someone for smoking at the bus stop. At that point, the kids are NOT on school property.
Yeah, the sleepiness MUST be dealt with somehow. If there is any kind of substance abuse going on, then that needs to be unearthed and sorted out. If it’s just a manifestation of the child’s developmental issues, that too needs to be dealt with.
I really think the kid is being scapegoated here. In fact I’m certain of it - the principal’s statement that they only caught a few kids and basically it was tough luck but hey, they had a live one right here.
I’m speaking as the parent of an Aspie as noted above. My son had a rough year a couple years back - with CONSTANT teasing of a sort that would NOT have bothered a neurotypical kid, and his reactions to the teasing were like throwing gasoline on a fire. By the end of the school year, complete strangers were teasing him because the word had gotten out about what great fun it could be. In an interview with a school psychologist, he expressed the wish that he could bring a gun to school and shoot the people who were teasing him (there’s that Aspie poor judgement again).
Now, saying something like THAT sure could have gotten his ass suspended or expelled and honestly we couldn’t have argued all that strongly against it. We were fortunate that the school reacted in a sane and reasonable manner (and boy were we glad we could say in all truthfulness that he had NO access to weapons). The OP’s school clearly does not have sane and reasonable administrators.
I’m confused as to how it “worked out in the end” when Inigo had to use $7k of resources earmarked for treatment of an actual problem. I hesitate to add the added aggravation to a family already going through some issues because stress/aggravation isn’t as tangible or measurable as money. So could you please explain to me: for whom did it work out?
Wrong, wrong, wrong.
Possession of tobacco by a minor in Georgia is against the law. And the rule sulamith posted that the kid is accused of breaking clearly indicates that “on the way to school” is under the school’s jurisdiction (as it was when I was in school as well).
I’m not sure if the OP referred to it, but IEP’d students who are facing suspension are entitled to a manifestation determination to clarify is there was a relationship between the handicapping condition and the behavior that led to the suspension. In the case of ADHD students for example, impulsive acts might be considered a manifestation of the disability, and therefore the student is cannot be disciplined in the same way as a typical kid.
An Aspie who acts out as a result of constant teasing would also probably be excused under this exception, if they are protected under IDEA or 504 provisions.
Upthread someone mentioned the case of a student with Oppositiional Defiant Disorder. I don’t think of these students as suffering from a disability as much as having learned faulty coping mechanisms, and are ultimately reponsible for their behavior.
Not to hijack, but going into the event it was known that the little Montoya was severe bipolar I w/ intermittent psychosis and we had an IEP in place. He had a manifestation meeting and it was determined that the disorder impaired his judgement to such a degree that he wouldn’t have understood why the item could be viewed as a weapon. So the school cleared his record.
The cops, however, did not.
I think the OP should be made very aware of the difference: Even if the school looks at the goldenflow report and sees no evidence of drug use and decides to not pursue the issue (this time), the District Attorney may still decide to press charges using the confession as evidence.
The DA office will take their time with the investigation, and when/if they decide to move forward the only notification you will get is the knock on the door by the arresting officer. THAT’S why OP needs to do some research and identify their defense counsel NOW. The DA knows how to fight this fight and it’ll go like Tyson vs. Shirley Temple if you don’t prepare for the worst.
What? No. I was a teacher for four years, and I absolutely believe that there is something really special about the process of classroom learning. The journey in the classroom is as important as the destination.
I also know that the number one hardest part of teaching high school is maintaining discipline, and that having a random kid passed out in the corner is going to become a discipline problem. How can you expect your 34 other students to remain engaged and on-task when you ignore the fact that one guy in unconscious? How can you convince them that what you are doing in the classroom is important, while also saying it’s not important for that one guy who is napping through class?
All high school students doze off now and then. Lord knows I did. If it’s happened to the point where teachers are calling home about it, repeatedly, it’s gone beyond the “I occasionally put my head down on my desk” thing. If a student of mine passed out and I could not wake them up as happened in the OP, damn right I would freak the fuck out. If someone is unconscious and cannot be roused in the middle of the day, I am going to assume they have fallen into a coma, because that is generally what that means. It’d scare the hell out of me.
Saying “My kid ought to be able to sleep through class” just isn’t going to fly. It can’t work. A mainstream classroom cannot accommodate that any more than they could accommodate wheeling in a coma patient. There needs to be a better plan than trying to go back to the way things were. The genie can’t go back into the bottle.
OK, now I’ve read the thread, and I’m glad to see you were already taking care of the testing. Also very glad that at least the first one is negative.
Did the test also show results for nicotine? I’d think it would be a total slam dunk if you could get that tested as well. Should he come out negative for both nicotine and pot, the school wouldn’t have a toe to balance on.
I am highly concerned about the tone of their reactions. If Celtling fell asleep in class, and someone was unable to wake her, I would expect them to call an ambulance. If they failed on that, and then further found that she had ingested an unknown substance which had caused lethargy, I would expect them at a minimum to call poison control, and I would expect an immediate call for medical evaluation.
Please do heed the advice to take this very seriously and at least consult a lawyer. What you do/say right now can have a great effect on your child’s future. I wouldn’t go to that meeting tomorrow without having spoken to a lawyer first.
For the longer run, I think a sleep study is in order. A kid can have AS and sleep Apnea.
The school is going to cling to sulamith’s son’s “confession” to smoking tobacco and/or reefer like a drowning man clings to a life-saver.
By frightning him into talking to them, the principal and the school resource officer played a scared 15 year-old like a fiddle—Not exactly unusual, in my experience.
Once again, good luck sulamith.
(and if it was me, I would think about rushing to hire a lawyer—The damage has already been done, and the great big pile-o-money that an attorney will cost could go a long way to getting your son into a school that may be more suited to his educational needs)
After I have a seizure, I pass out and often I can’t be awakened unless someone pours water on my face. Has your son ever had any symptoms or instances that might be explained by seizures?
(And no, you can’t always tell if someone’s having one)
Not sure where you are in Georgia. You can search on children’s hospital sleep clinic.
Here’s one in Children’s Healtcare in Atlanta: http://www.choa.org/default.aspx?id=6478
(The Seattle Children’s sleep clinic was a lifesaver for my daughter and our family).
You have an IEP in place and there is a format that has to be gone through to remove a child. It sounds a bit like they are trying to steamroll you. I don’t know if that is a good environment for your son, but you need this off of his record for when he applys for college.
Have you talked to his IEP teacher. She should be involved and helping here. Some of them are not as helpful as they should be.
In terms of home schooling, I would honestly look into some of the on line high schools instead of completely home schooling. When I worked for one of those the students who benifited most were the ones with Aspergers. Those students tend to be somewhat regimented in their thinking and rules are very important, and it confuses them terribly because the other students don’t follow the rules. Computers follow the rules.
Every IEP I have run into has on it a number for a disability rights association. I know who it is in my state but am not sure who it would be for you. You can dig up an old IEP and see if the number is there or, you may be able to get help or a way to go forward from Georgia Advocacy Office, Inc., or they may be able to give you some guidance how to move forward. They may be able to help you negotiate paying for the online high school.
I thought the OP’s kid doesn’t have an IEP in place because he has not been formally diagnosed. Am I mistaken?
sulamith, how did your meeting with the principal go?