Lil’ Neville is breastfeeding. She will sometimes let me know it is time to feed her by trying to latch onto my arm. Last week, she did this while a service person was here. I couldn’t get away to feed her right away, so I let her suck on my arm a bit. Afterward, I noticed a red mark where she had been latching onto my arm. She gave me a hickey by trying to nurse on my arm.
Is this a sneak brag? I can’t tell. Maybe put her fingers in her mouth next time? You don’t want folk to think you’re using leech therapy in this day and age.
It’s a weird thing that I never imagined would happen before I became a parent. Spitting up, crying, and diaper blowouts- I knew those would happen. Hickeys, not so much.
The boy used to bite my arm.
For a while I had a set of bruises on my upper arm that looked exactly like bruises would if someone had grabbed my arm really hard. My sis (works as a nurse in children’s emerg) said if I had come in to the hospital like that someone would have had them talk to me about abuse.
“But, but - my baby bites me! See, you hold him! See!”
Hahaaaa, my daughter used to do that to me too.
Hickeys I mean, not biting.
This is pretty mild all things considered.
True, it’s not like she got you pregnant.
Wait until the moment your child vomits, and instead of dodging, you reach out and try to catch the vomit in your bare hand. That’s motherhood. 
Or say, 'Well, at least it all landed only on my shirt, thank God!"