What have I done?!?!

AAAAARGH!!

I’m sitting watching The Price is Right. Saying things out loud like “no you idiot!!”. I have the soft rubbery end of a turkey baster. I’m mindlessly playing with it. Squishing it, then sticking it to various parts of my face, letting it hang there, waving my head back and forth to see if it will fall off. It mostly doesnt fall off, its stuck on there but good. End of show, I’m hungry but first I must use the facilities. Go to bathroom, turn on light, look in mirror-----

I have dozens of round hickies all over my face!!! I look like i’ve been making out with an octopus! Mostly they’re all over my chin.

Total bummer.

I’d try to pass them off as mosquito bites…it would be easier to explain to the common public.

You and that guy who likes to stick things up his nose should get together sometime.

:slight_smile:

They’re almost the size of a quarter and they’re flat, they only look like one thing, hickies. Red and purple hickies. I think i’m sick for a few days. I don’t own a turtle neck that would cover them all. And who gets hickies on their forhead??

ArtyDooDoo = dork

I was going to say that at least I didnt have any on my nose but at this point, who cares?

Bwaahhaaahaahaa. I’m peein’ myself here.

I think you should add some to your nose, and say it’s performance art.

I totally think you should tell people the truth about it should they ask. I’ve given some thought to your problem and I think this is less, I don’t know, weird than any other explanation for hickies on your forehead.

You say that like it’s a bad thing :smiley:

When I was in the Air Force, I worked with a couple of Airmen that started dating. The two of them got drunk one night and started wrestling around and giving each other face hickies.

It was all fun and games until they had to put on the uniforms and come to work with their faces covered in marks. The NCOIC was pretty close to exploding.

We’re not sure which one thought it would be a good idea, first. Probably him, but she was a little crazy, too.

I called my husband at work to tell him what I’ve done. First there was just silence and I could tell he was trying to grasp what I was telling him, then he said “what do you mean”.

I explained it to him again and then he started laughing. First it was a quite laugh, then it got louder. Then I guess the full realisation of what I was telling him hit and he started to do the laugh where his body shakes but not too much sound comes out.

I just quietly hung up.

Piccy? Please?

Not on your life.

Seriously though, I did briefly concider posting pics of my hideous self but I just couldnt bring myself to do it.

ROFL Oh, I’m sorry to laugh so hard at your unfortunate facial delema… but OMG!

If it helps, I was watching The Untouchables TV show one afternoon and was playing with a juice glass. I found out that it would perfectly fit over my lower lip and chin and I could suck the air out, move my lip out, and it would stay stuck on my face for a long time! My entire chin turned purple for a week. :eek:

But I was 12 - ummmm How old are you?? :stuck_out_tongue:

33

I’ve done the glass thing too. But that was many years ago. Well actually I do still do that with glasses but I havent had “purple chin syndrom” for a long time.

Just tell everyone that the hickies are scars from a 1920’s Style Death Ray.

Perfectly acceptable excuse.

Oi, ArtyDooDoo, you have my sympathies. But hey, at least you stopped playing with the turkey baster after you realized what you’d done, right?

What’s this you say? “Of COURSE I stopped – whattya take me for, a moron?” Well lemme tell ya…

The first time my (then to-be-)husband visited my parents with me, one afternoon he and I were sitting around the kitchen. He picked up my dad’s wine-saver vacuum pump, a gizmo that you fit over these little rubber stoppers and pump to get most of the air out of a partly-used wine bottle. He played with it. He toyed with it. He pumped it up and down. He tried using it on the formica countertop, but that didn’t work – no seal. But he found he could get a pretty good seal if he pressed it to his belly. (pump pump) Ooh! Look! Mr. emilyforce gave himself a giant belly-hickey, the size of a JFK 50-cent piece! Haw, haw, good thing Mom didn’t see that; she’d think my beloved was a moron. Tuck that shirt in, no one will ever know.

So he picks it up again a few minutes later, right as Mom is walking in the kitchen, and he does it again… ON HIS FACE.

If you find yourself bored today, put some more of the same marks on your hands and legs then go walk around the mall in short clothing.

You can then come back here and post people’s reactions to you as they walked past. It should be an interesting read.

Um, I don’t know how her husband will feel about that…

This is where veils come in handy. That or ass-loads of makeup.
Good luck with that.