This week I’ve been victimizing people in the office, including my boss, by leaving large realistic fake spiders on their chairs. He jumped and screamed like a 9 year old girl.
This morning (Halloween), he called me into his office to do some task, and jumped out from behind the door dressed as the Grim Reaper, giving a loud yell. I almost peed in my pants! Then I laughed, because it was all so absurd.
But that’ll show me to pinpoint who the true arachnaphobes are.
What’s even more scary is our receptionist, who’s wearing a large, furry, purple spider on her head today. I mean large like hat-sized. WTF is wrong with these people? What a buncha wierdoes!
Well, the row I sit in has been turned into Oz. The Tin Man is behind me, Dorothy is in front of me, the Cowardly Lion and Scarecrow across from me… eerie. I keep singing “If I only had a heart…”
Gee, I work in a big ol’ skyscraper in Manhattan, and NO ONE is doing anything for Halloween.
In New York, I guess, it just seems redundant.
One of the secretaries here is wearing glasses with holographic eyes on them. And one of the engineers is wearing a TIE!!!
I plan to dress in my pink fuzzy bunny costume to give out treats tonight - stuffed-type bunny, not Playboy - but I wasn’t gonna come to work like that.
And here I am be-bopping through life thinking on the Pope has holy crap.
Eve, they probably are doing something for Halloween, you just can’t tell.
ONLY, ONLY, only, only…
fuck.
My Halloween costume is a pair of sunglasses. That’s all (well…other than regular work clothes). I’m wearing them right now.
Two people today have asked if I got a black eye or something last night. I said no, this is my Halloween costume.
Then they’ll ask “so…who are you supposed to be? Tom Cruise? CIA?”
“No,” I respond, “I’m ‘sunglasses wearing man.’”
Then they’ll start laughing and occassionally mutter “freak.”
I probably am.
Speaking of which, Rasa, I got through your first sentence and the first thing I thought was “You decorated your office to look like a prison? Weird.”
Even, you and me both.
Are you going down to the village tonight to watch/join the freak show?
MR
Grr.
EVE
You know what I mean.
Nah, it’s gonna be something like 28º with the wind chill tonight in Greenwich Village. I’m going to be bundled up in a quilt with the new David Sedaris book, hoping the folks downstairs are answering the doorbell.
My boss scared the heck out of me last week. When he realized I could not hear him come in my office he kept doing it and each time scaring me! It was funny the first couple of times.
Eve I am so jealous of you. I wish we would get some cold weather down here.
Eve, I suggest you go to the village naked, enjoy the cold, and watch the freaks.
It’ll be better than the steaming pile that is Sedaris’ most recent book.