That rat bastard. I was about to give up mahi mahi forever, and it’s one of the few fish that I genuinely like.
I love the Internet, though. I went here, and it says:
Aargh! :mad: Help me think of a way to get back at him.
And can someone report my post to close the tag, please?
What kinds of foods or beverages does he particularly enjoy? That will help us to target our collective evilness.
You can tell him that instead of giving up mahi mahi, you are giving up tube steak.
After you’ve given him something - say something like rice -pretend to have found a recall on the internet that says the particular brand of rice he ate is being recalled and that in the meantime people who think they may have eaten it should purge, and quickly.
Then shove some strong laxative and Ipecac down his throat and go far, far away while he does his Mt. St. Helens for you.
Pasta/Italian. That isn’t helpful, is it?
Be aware that he’s very bright and will be on guard. And I have a really hard time keeping a secret from him.
Hit him with a frozen mahi mahi?
Well then disregard my advice, it’s more aimed at someone gullible and not-so-bright.
Yeah, smack him with the frozen mahi-mahi while you do your best Flipper impression.
I’d like to go on record saying that I think your boyfriend is totally awesome.
You cannot get him back through the same kind of prank. He will be far too clever for this. Are you friends with any of his exes? Have one of them call him up and tell him she’s got the clap, and may have infected him. She should then tell him he needs to inform you. Then you get to watch him tell you before you bust him.
Why were you going to give up mahi-mahi even if it was dolphin?
Octopus, because dolphins are clever and intelligent. And I do try not to eat clever and intelligent mammals, really. I know that like everyone else I am a hypocrite in my meat-eating but for Og’s sake they are dolphins.
Go ahead and enjoy your dolphin (fish) in good conscience – and with some soy sauce, pepper, and lemon juice.
You’re too good for him 'Mika Course I love ya almost as much as I do my Louis Vuitton luggage so I think everybody’s too good for you, so what do I know.
I say, next time y’all go out together, ask the waiter if the Mahi Mahi is really, really fresh dolphin, cause that’s the only way you like your dolphin.
Or, take him out to the marina and tell him you want him to pick you out a really good lookin’ dolphin cause you’re craving some good dolphin meat!
Then again, tell him you’ve become vegan, so no more tube steak for you!
Or, just slap him upside the head and tell him you are a doper, and thus waaaaaay too smart already. I like this idea the best.
Awwww, thanks! I love you too, swampy!
I tried this but he pointed out - truthfully - that I would regret that as much as him. 
I like this one, too. Here goes!
So, did ya give him a real good :smack: ?
Did you ever see the Fish-Slapping Dance? Do that.
Read The Scrivener’s link.
Feed him spaghetti squash in stead of pasta one night. This only works if he freaks at the thought of squash.
Curious thing is, mahi is the Persian word for fish. So in Persian mahi mahi means something like ‘the fish of the fish’.
No, that should work for anyone. Spaghetti squash is OK in its own right, but a substitute for pasta it is not.