I think I should put this here, since I wouldn’t be facing this but for the pandemic; however, it’s just a personal lament, and I considered putting it in MPSIMS. If a mod wants to move it, I won’t mind.
So, my brother and I have managed to see each other at least once a year, and sometimes twice, our whole adult lives (sometimes even more), in spite of the fact that right now, I live in Indianapolis, and he lives in LA. The closest we have lived as adults was one odd year when I was in a town about 90 minutes south of Indy, and he was in Chicago (5.5 hr. drive), but most of the time he lived in Chicago, I was in NYC. Visiting has always been challenging, but we’ve done it.
Especially, since my mother died, we have tried to stay in touch, and have seen each other twice a year.
Except this year.
I saw him from Dec. 28, 2019-Jan. 4, 2020, which was nice-- we went to Legoland, and had an early celebration of my birthday. And my family has never celebrated the secular new year-- albeit, DH has some friends he goes out with every year, so since we’ve had the boychik he stags it, and I stay with the kid. It’s a small party-- basically a reunion of his tabletop gaming group from college.
Anyway, we’ve done a few Thanksgivings with my brother-- in 2018, some of my cousins, and DH’s sister, who has a son the boychik’s age, and happens to live just south of LA, joined us, and we all also went to Disneyland. It was a blast.
When I left last Jan., we talked about going out again for Spring Break, 2020 (last March). Well, that died before it hit the womb, but then we said we’d definitely see each other over the new year again. By then, if the pandemic hadn’t passed, surely we’d have learned to cope with it to the point that we could visit.
Well, this is pretty much the last point at which I could get reasonably priced plane tickets in a normal year. I really don’t know what it’s like buying plane tickets right before travel as things are now. I don’t know if planes are flying part-full, and so tickets are cheap, or if half-full is the goal so nothing has really changed.
But there’s also a real risk that in December, California could have travel restrictions on people from Indiana flying in, anyway. And I don’t really relish wearing a mask non-stop for a week. Nor social distancing from my brother and his wife when we visit their house.
One of the things we do when I visit is that I teach him how to make one of the family recipes our mother, grandmother, or aunt taught me (it’s sort of a boy/girl thing, but mostly a “he moved out at 18, and was never around to learn, and I was”). It’s hard to do that while social distancing. I was going to teach him bagels, but bagels take time and a lot of steps. They’re not hard, but they’re involved.
So, we talked (well, texted, but that’s how we roll) yesterday, and decided to cancel plans for the new year. In two months, we’ll evaluate for a Spring Break or Passover visit (he an atheist who doesn’t celebrate the Jewish holidays much, and his wife isn’t Jewish, but he says they’ll do a seder if I cook).
I’m not especially hopeful, though.
This means I’ll go more than a calendar year without seeing him in person.
It’s difficult, because since both our parents are dead, we’re our closest relatives-- I mean, I have the boychik, but he hasn’t known me almost my whole life like my brother has. Of course, I have my aunt and uncle as well, and they live just a city away, but because they are in their late 70s, and my aunt’s health is vulnerable, I don’t visit them much either. It’s hard, because they are like parents to me. I really want to hug my aunt, and I haven’t for months.
Dealing with a lot of disappointment.
All in all, if this is the worst COVID-19 wreaks on my life, I’ve gotten off easy-- I realize that. I still felt like expressing myself somewhere. I’ve already whined to a couple of friends about it, and to DH, but I figured I’m not the only one with petty disappointments they might feel like airing.
Thanks for listening.