My cat hates me

Once a week. For about twelve hours.

I can’t figure it out. Usually he’s a complete sweetie and won’t leave me alone in his demands for attention. But every Friday morning when I wake up for the last few weeks he’s been extremely angry with me. We’re talking growling, hissing, crapping and pissing on the floor at my very presence angry. He sits in the bedroom, hunched up in an empty shelf or sitting on some boxes in the closet. I check periodically just to make sure he’s OK and as soon as I set foot on the threshold he’s back to growling and hissing. It scares the hell out of my girl cat and she ends up hissing at me as I walk past. In solidarity I guess. She generally gets over it in an hour or so. Then in late afternoon/early evening the boy comes wandering up to me as if he hadn’t been spending the last twelve hours hissing, growling, crapping and pissing for no apparent reason and decides it’s cuddle time.

I cannot think of a single thing to warrant this reaction. The only variable in my behaviour is that I generally have a few drinks on Thursday evening (I work Sunday-Thursday) but I’ve been doing that I think literally since the week he came into the house and he’s never before had this morning-after reaction. I don’t do anything to him when I’ve been drinking (unless I’m completely blacked out, which seems unlikely) so it’s not like he’s reacting to my actions from the night before. I drink the same thing every week so it’s hard to think he’s reacting to some big difference in my scent. And I’ve drunk on other nights of the week and he hasn’t responded this way the next morning.

That is weird. Assuming you’re not shoving Roman candles up his ass when you’re drunk, all I’ve got for you is “cats is weird”.

It’s jealousy.

“I feel sorry for cats who don’t drink. When they wake up in the afternoon, that’s as good as they’re gonna feel all day.” -Manx Sinatra

Maybe he doesn’t like the sound of something happening outside. Could you have neighbors with a new yard service that comes that morning?

Please tell me that you don’t come home from the bar after a few drinks on Thursday evenings wearing that butch fairy costume of yours. That would scare the hell out of a cat.

Do you go out to drink on Thursday nights? Smell like smoke or sweaty bodies, perhaps?

Actually, a lot of animals do not like to be around humans who have been drinking, at all. They can develop an association to the smell of it on you that reminds them of times you may hve been acting “wrong” - maybe louder, clumsier, rougher than you normally are.

Something that YOU FEED, something that YOU ARE TEN TIMES BIGGER THAN, something that YOU PROVIDE EVERYTHING FOR deliberately pisses all over your floor, right in front of you, and you’re asking advice on how best to please it?
Damn, it’s good to be a cat. :wink:

I have a few at home and then sometimes go out to a local bar that has strippers. The bar is smoke-free and, sadly, my contact with sweaty bodies is limited. But this has been my routine for literally years. The bizarre cat behaviour is a recent development in the last month or so.

I think I need to conduct an experiment. Drink on a different day during the week and see how he reacts the next morning. I’ll have to try to get a day off work, but it’s worth it in the name of science, right?

I’d still check his bunghole for used Roman Candles though. I mean, that would explain a lot.

It’s abject bribery, but maybe you could placate the little guy with a modest treat before you head on out and another one when you return. It might also be a good idea to take some time to play with your cat before your night out – and if he’s too old and dignified to chase things, a bit of catnip ought to do the trick. If he gets a good frenzy on, he’d get so worn out, he’ll likely sleep through the evening hours when you’re out and not notice, let alone resent, your absence then. And maybe the catnip hangover [?] will leave him so discombobulated, he’ll totally forget he’s supposed to be pissed-off with you in the first place.

Does your cat normally watch any TV or listen to music with you in the evenings? You might also try leaving on a TV or radio and a couple of lights, etc., in your absence.

It might also help if you take a shower when you get home (after feeding the cat, of course), to remove those outside smells.

I do think you must do something drastic to break him of this destructive, petulant routine he’s developed. Technically, once a cat does something twice and gets away with it, it’s a set-in-concrete habit. Good luck, Otto; you’ve got your work cut out for you!

I must be a cat.

You and me both. I don’t look down on people for drinking, but I generally find it unpleasant to be around them while they’re doing it; “good” drunk or not, neither “buzzed” nor “blitzed.”

There it is. He smells another pussy and he’s angry at you. Tell the barkeep to find find the strippers that used to dance there and all should return to normal.

Unless Otto has changed significantly, this ain’t the answer.

Is that when you play the disappearing-double-sawbuck trick? :wink:

Seriously, though, sounds like you’ve got a conundrum on your hands. I hope you figure something out.

Yeah, that would shock the hell outta me too.

Otto: try drinking on another night.

Or every night.

Or not at all

Seems perfectly natural to me.
That’s why I have a dog.
He only bites me when I bite him.