So most of you who care about cats have heard my adventures in the past month. If not, the synopsis is that in one weekend, I had both my cats into the vet hospital. Turns out one had eaten rat poison and had to be put to sleep. The other cat, Teddy, was diagnosed with Chronic Renal Failure, which in non-vet terms means that his kidney’s don’t work. Apparantly, cats can live a long time like this if you feed 'em a special diet and cram pills down their throats every day. All in all, I spent close to 2K on #@!@#! vet bills last month, and I’m starting to doubt my sanity. 2K! On a CAT?!? Not to mention expensive prescriptions and vet visits for the rest of his life. Grrrrrr…
Fast forward a month. Teddy is like a new cat. I’ve only had him about 2.5 years - he was a stray who just let himself in through the dog door one day, and hasn’t left yet. Since the renal failure, he’s become WAY more charismatic. Talks all the time, is very, very cute, demands attention, etc. He’s basically stolen me and Mr. Athena’s hearts with his cute lil’ antics. Spoiling him has something to do with that, I’m sure. So on Saturday, I’m out doing some shopping, and decide to buy Teddy this thing that looks like a fishing pole with a big feather thingy on the end. I take it home, Mr. Athena and I spend a fun-filled afternoon fishing for kitty. Teddy LOVES the thing. He jumps in the air, chases it around, the whole nine yards.
Sunday afternoon, we step out for a few hours. When we come home, we find the toy in pieces on the floor (we had left it up on the counter.) Teddy has stalked and killed it. We find all the pieces, except one 2.5 foot piece of string. I look at Teddy. He looks at me all sweet-like. I look at the remaining bit of toy. I put remaining bit of toy on the floor. Teddy pounces, and starts chewing on the bit o’ string attached to toy. He fights me for it when I try to get it away. I come to one conclusion: Teddy has eaten almost three feet of string.
I want to #@!#@ kill this damn cat. On the one hand, he has sneakily become cute and talkative and made us like him more than we ever liked him before. On the other hand, he seems hell-bent on making me pass on my life savings to the vet. I don’t KNOW that he ate the cord - he’s acting fine, eating, pooping, all that - but my hurried phone call to the vet informs me that it can take 2-3 days for any string-related illness to show up. I’m about ready to do home surgury on this #!$# cat. How the heck did this species evolve? Non-functioning kidneys are apparantly common, and the damn things are stupid enough to eat string and rat poison. What’s next? Will I come home today to find the wall-to-wall carpeting gone? Will he manage to half drown himself in the toilet, only to be resuscitated to the tune of many thousands of dollars? Does he get kickbacks from my vet? “C’mere, Teddy, I got something else for ya. Pretend to eat that string, and we’ll get another few hundred out of her. You can pick up your share in tuna at midnight tomorrow.”
Dumn pets. Why do we have 'em?