Here comes the condensed version of my life story.
I fucked off in school, and barely limped across the finish line for my high school diploma, mostly because I had suckers for teachers who thought “potential” was just as useful an attribute as discipline is. Or maybe they just felt sorry for me.
Of course I didn’t go to college. I got a part time job, a shitty two bedroom apartment with a roommate who was as much a loser as I was, in a part of Vegas that smelled like a dumpster fire could probably could have been improved with a good old fashioned ww2 style aerial bombing.
5 years later, and I was a supervisor at the shitty job. It was still a shitty job, but slightly less so. I married a woman who actually knew things and had her shit together in a job using her bachelor’s degree. It felt like I had to move quick before she realized she was out of my league.
A few years later and my wife gives birth to my son, while in the middle of completing her Master’s degree. My son was a toddler before I was ashamed enough to actually go make something of myself. I got certified at a trade school, traded my coffee shop supervisor apron for a uniform with patches on it, and started watching people die. I shared at least one of these stories here before, and I won’t go into the details now, but the job officially beat the dipshit child right out of me and left behind something I’m proud to say was at least halfway worth a damn.
Several years, one industry change, two promotions and an extra digit on my salary later, and now I’m in a very comfortable place in my life. Amazingly, I still feel young enough to appreciate the freedom and security I get from all the money I can’t believe they’re actually paying me to do the stuff I do. But I never did get that degree. I don’t feel “finished” yet, if that makes any sense. Sure, I’m doing okay now, but I still take orders from more people than I give orders to, and all those people have on me is proof from an accredited institution vouching they’ve adequately demonstrated that they’re not a dumbass.
So I looked into it. I’m almost 40 years old, and there’s no way I’m dragging this pile of receding hairline and back pain to a campus. But I don’t want a cracker-jack box diploma-mill degree. I want the real thing, from a real university, and it turns out you can trade a lot of time and effort and a LOT of money for an honest-to-goodness state university degree from any one of a number of institutions without having to leave the comfort of your computer chair. I picked the one with the right combination of accreditation, prestige, and tuition cost, and I took an admissions exam made for people like me.
It was tough and long, but I just finished the admissions test and I’m feeling pretty good about myself. I’m not the same jackoff kid that slouched his way to adulthood figuring “good enough” was actually good enough. I don’t have any doubt that I’ll be able to finish this. I have the support of my wife, who I love (of course) but also (maybe even more importantly) respect and admire. I have a tweener kid who I’m pretty sure looks up to me even though admitting it would be the worst. Thing. Ever. And I still have enough neurons firing to pass a tough academic exam.
So I guess wish me luck. I already have everything else I need.