My complaint about Gov. George W Bush

Once again, I find disappointment. Once again, I find no satisfaction. Once again, I find that the trouble with such disorganized deadheads is that they intend to create a climate in which it will be assumed that our achievements reflect not individual worth, talent, or skill, but special consideration. I would like to start by discussing Gov. George W Bush’s teachings, mainly because they scare me. The thing I’m the most frightened about is that Gov. Bush has, on a number of occasions, expressed a desire to rescue materialism from the rubbish heap of history, dust it off, slap on a coat of cheap sophistry, and market it as new and improved. On all of these occasions, I submitted to the advice of my friends, who assured me that we must give direction to a universal human development of culture, ethics, and morality. As mentioned above, however, that is not enough. It is necessary to do more. It is necessary to draw an accurate portrait of his ideological alignment.

Not to be rude or anything, but there are two related questions in this matter. The first is to what extent he has tried to equip incorrigible loons with flame throwers, hand grenades, and heat-seeking missiles. The other is whether or not the main dissensus between me and Gov. Bush is that I think that Gov. Bush is a paragon of evil at its most wicked. He, on the other hand, contends that cannibalism, wife-swapping, and the murder of infants and the elderly are acceptable behavior. It’s not necessary to go into too long of a description about how he plans to goad silly porn stars into hurling epithets at his enemies within a short period of time. Suffice it to say that he presents himself as a disinterested classicist lamenting the infusion of politically-motivated methods of pedagogy and analysis into higher education. Gov. Bush is eloquent in his denunciation of modern scholarship, claiming it favors what I call insufferable dorks. And here we have the ultimate irony, because Gov. Bush wants nothing less than to make my blood curdle, hence his repeated, almost hypnotic, insistence on the importance of his self-righteous epigrams. On the other hand, you might say, “I, not being one of the many nasty anarchists of this world, am concerned that his vague and overly broad definition of “hydrometallurgically” will cause horny mystics to fragment the nation into politically disharmonious units sooner or later.” Fine, I agree. But he can fool some of the people all of the time. He can fool all of the people some of the time. But Gov. Bush can’t fool all of the people all of the time. Oh, and one more thing. His practices are designed to step on other people’s toes. And they’re working; they’re having the desired effect.

At first, you might be unsure as to whether Gov. Bush is at least partially right in that what was morally wrong five years ago is just as wrong today. But on deeper inspection, you’ll indeed conclude that he shouldn’t pollute the great canon of English literature with references to his pestilential propositions. That would be like asking a question at a news conference and, too angry and passionate to wait for the answer, exiting the auditorium before the response. Both of those actions take us over the edge of the abyss of sesquipedalianism. He can’t possibly believe that individual worth is defined by race, ethnicity, religion, or national origin. He’s stupid, but he’s not that stupid. Gov. Bush’s litanies may not be traditional for all catty Philistines, but when I first became aware of Gov. Bush’s covert invasion into our thought processes, all I could think was how Gov. Bush’s machinations are geared toward the continuation of social stratification under the rubric of “tradition.” Funny, that was the same term that his cronies once used to inflict untold misery, suffering, and distress. To be honest, every time Gov. Bush tells his lackeys that parasitism is a noble goal, their eyes roll into the backs of their heads as they become mindless receptacles of unsubstantiated information, which they accept without question.

Yes, you heard me right; he might humiliate, subjugate, and eventually, eliminate everyone who wants to prevent the production of a new crop of unpatriotic braggarts some day. What are we to do then? Place blinders over our eyes and hope we don’t see the horrible outcome? Gov. Bush’s arguments would be a lot more effective if they were at least accurate or intelligent, not just a load of bull for the sake of being controversial. “Gov. Bush” has now become part of my vocabulary. Whenever I see someone contravene decency, I tell him or her to stop “Gov. Bush-ing”. His henchmen are unified under a common goal. That goal is to increase society’s cycle of hostility and violence.

If we let Gov. Bush impose a “glass ceiling” that limits our opportunities for promotions in most jobs, then greed, corruption, and cynicism will characterize the government. Oppressive measures will be directed against citizens. And lies and deceit will be the stock and trade of the media and educational institutions.

If he had done his homework, he’d know that certain facts are clear. For instance, I don’t trust domineering twisted hermits. We can therefore extrapolate that as that last sentence suggests, it has been said that his simple-minded assistants seem to think they can escape the consequences of their actions. I, in turn, insist that I would never take a job working for him. Given his smarmy editorials, who would want to? It is quite true, of course, that Gov. Bush’s grandiose promises of plenty for each have yielded grinding poverty for all. But after hearing about Gov. Bush’s deplorable attempts to perpetuate inaccurate and dangerous beliefs about male-female relationships, I was saddened. I was saddened that he has lowered himself to this level. Incidentally, I want to find more constructive contexts in which to work toward resolving conflicts. I want to do this not because I need to tack another line onto my résumé, but because it’s easy enough to hate Gov. Bush any day of the week on general principles. But now I’ll tell you about some very specific things that Gov. Bush is up to, things that ought to make a real Gov. Bush-hater out of you. First off, the most headlong manifestation of spiteful sentiment among cranky bureaucrats has been the way they relabel millions of people as “deluded”. Now, that last statement is a bit of an oversimplification, an overgeneralization. But it is nevertheless substantially true. Following Gov. Bush’s words left to right and down a page is like following fingernails on a chalkboard. That fact may not be pleasant, but it is a fact regardless of our wishes on the matter.

Gov. Bush’s philosophies are an icon for the deterioration of the city, for its slow slide into crime, malaise, and filth. Under these conditions, no matter what else we do, our first move must be to alert everyone that we need to stand up for our rights. That’s the first step: education. Education alone is not enough, of course. We must also advance a clear, credible, and effective vision for dealing with our present dilemma and its most narrow-minded manifestations. This state of affairs demands the direct assault on those unsympathetic remonstrations that seek to traduce and discredit everyone but nugatory ogres. Whereas Gov. Bush claims that the purpose of life is self-gratification, I claim that he doesn’t care about freedom, as he can neither eat it nor put it in the bank. It’s just a word to him. Having said that, let me add that his sophistries will have consequences – very serious consequences. And we ought to begin doing something about that.

Do you really want Gov. Bush to encourage a deadly acceptance of intolerance? I think not. I like to think I’m a reasonable person, but you just can’t reason with obdurate big-labor bosses. It’s been tried. They don’t understand, they can’t understand, they don’t want to understand, and they will die without understanding why all we want is for them not to trick academics into abandoning the principles of scientific inquiry.

In order to solve the big problems with him, we must first understand these problems, and to understand them, we must embark on a new path towards change. When Gov. Bush looks in the mirror in the morning, does he see more than the same, virulent face that all licentious carpetbaggers share? In contrast, I have a New Year’s resolution for him: He should pick up a book before he jumps to the crude conclusion that everyone and everything discriminates against him – including the writing on the bathroom stalls. This is not to say that in my speaking engagements, I have found in audience questions an alarming increase in concern about bloody-minded devil-worshippers. It is merely to point out that it doesn’t do us much good to become angry and wave our arms and shout about the evils of his positions in general terms. If we want other people to agree with us and join forces with us, then we must educate the public on a range of issues.

Plainly stated, given a choice of having Gov. Bush manipulate public understanding of Dadaism or having my bicuspids extracted sans Novocaine, I would embrace the pliers, purchase some Polident Partials, and call it a day. While I don’t question his motives, and I certainly understand the frustrations of Gov. Bush’s helpers, the central paradox of Gov. Bush’s catch-phrases, the twist that makes Gov. Bush’s slurs so irresistible to huffy vile converts to jujuism, is that these people truly believe that Gov. Bush defends the real needs of the working class. The cry of “bigot” is raised mostly by bigots. That is why, come what may, we must enable patriots to use their freedoms to save their freedoms.

I generated this posting with Scott Pakin’s automatic complaint-letter generator, at It struck me as being particularly insightful as well as absolutely hilarious, so I simply had to share it. I hope nobody minds!

George Bush Jr. reminds me of a song lyric “She’s got the devil in her eyes”, Except “HE” of course. Does this guy scare anyone else out there?

Not anywhere nearly as bad as Evil Al.

perhaps this is a “Great Debate” or an IMHO?

Well, after reading the first couple paragraphs, beagledave, I would have agreed with you. Of course, shortly after it went to GD or IMHO, it would be destined for the Pit.

But, you need to read the last sentence of the post.

From this statement, I’m interpreting it as a joke at this point. We’ll keep it here for now and see what happens.

And for the record, I gotta agree with Beatle. Al “Deadwood” Bore is by far the scarier of the two.

I can’t let V.P. Al Gore’s misinformation and misguided arguments about elitism go by without comment. For the sake of review, if there’s an untold story here, it’s that honor means nothing to Gore. Principles mean nothing to Gore. All he cares about is how to reduce social and cultural awareness to a dictated set of guidelines to follow. Viewed from all angles, he is a pretty good liar most of the time. However, he tells so many lies, he’s bound to trip himself up someday.

Why does Gore want to promote promiscuity and obscene language? Psychologists might suggest that it is sad to see him call for ritualistic invocations of needlessly-formal rules. Counselors might contend that I cannot, in good conscience, step aside and let dotty ugly thieves redefine humanity as alienated machines/beasts and then convince everyone that they were never human to begin with. Sociologists might point out that inequality does not beget equality. I agree with the above assessments, but I’m sticking out my neck a bit in talking about Gore’s declamations. It’s quite likely he will try to retaliate against me for my telling you that if he is going to talk about higher standards, then he needs to live by those higher standards. What we have been imparting to him – or what he has been eliciting from us – is a half-submerged, barely intended logic, contaminated by wishes and tendencies we prefer not to acknowledge. Why Gore would even pretend that honor counts for nothing is beyond me.

The truth hurts, doesn’t it, Gore? The last time I told his cronies that I want to exercise all of our basic rights to the maximum, they declared in response, “But the health effects of secondhand smoke are negligible.” Of course, they didn’t use exactly those words, but that’s exactly what they meant. The vast majority of people would probably be willing to help me protect our peace, privacy, and safety. These people simply need information, encouragement, direction, and leadership. Yes, you heard me right; it’s a pity that two thousand years after Christ, the voices of patronizing knee-biters like Gore can still be heard, worse still that they’re listened to, and worst of all that any one believes them. But this is something to be filed away for future letters. At present, I wish to focus on only one thing: the fact that when I first became aware of his covert invasion into our thought processes, all I could think was how I have a New Year’s resolution for him: He should pick up a book before he jumps to the dictatorial conclusion that he can change his self-righteous ways.

As for the lies and exaggerations, Gore would have us believe that the federal government should take more and more of our hard-earned money and more and more of our hard-won rights. Such flummery can be quickly dissipated merely by skimming a few random pages from any book on the subject. What has happened to our sense of humanity? Doesn’t he realize that the confusion that petulant loan sharks create is desirable and convenient to our national enemies? Please let me explain that Gore has nothing but contempt for you, and you don’t even know it. That’s why I feel obligated to inform you that his press releases are rife with contradictions and difficulties; they’re thoroughly immoral, meet no objective criteria, and are unsuited for a supposedly educated population. And as if that weren’t enough, if anything, I and Gore part company when it comes to the issue of corporatism. He feels that women are crazed Pavlovian sex-dogs who will salivate at any object even remotely phallic in shape, while I feel that I can no longer get very excited about any revelation of his hypocrisy or crookedness. It’s what I’ve come to expect by now.

Gore frequently avers his support of democracy and his love of freedom. But one need only look at what Gore is doing – as opposed to what he is saying – to understand his true aims. It may seem senseless to say that I’m doubtlessly bewildered by the cranky nature of his values. Nevertheless, the position can be defended.

My point may be made clearer by use of an allegorical tale. Suppose a hypothetical group of three people is standing in a room. One of those people realizes that Gore’s lackeys get so hypnotized by his simplistic “good guys and bad guys” approach to history that they do not hear what he is really saying. Another goes on and on about his uncontrollable propositions. But the third can’t understand why he has a penchant for counterinsurgency and clandestine operations. In this hypothetical situation, it should be obvious that several things he has said have brought me to the boiling point. The statement of his that made the strongest impression on me, however, was something to the effect of how he is a perpetual victim of injustice. As I gaze into my crystal ball, I see that Gore’s henchmen will promote a form of government in which religious freedom, racial equality, and individual liberty are severely at risk eventually.

When was the last time you heard Gore mention that he is capable of passing very rapidly from a hidden enjoyment of brown-nosing racialism to a proclaimed attachment to Marxism and back – and back again? Probably never. That’s why I’m not a psychiatrist. Sometimes, though, I wish I were, so that I could better understand what makes people like him want to combine, in a rare mixture, bestial cruelty and an inconceivable gift for lying. We no longer have the luxury of indulging in universalist, altruistic principles that, no matter how noble they may appear, have enabled what I call venal boors to force women to live by restrictive standards not applicable to men. This makes me fearful that I might someday find myself in the crosshairs of his unruly canards. (To be honest, though, it wouldn’t be the first time.)

It should be readily apparent that if I am prepared to state my views and stand by them, then his attempts to generate alienation and withdrawal are much worse than mere jujuism. They are hurtful, malicious, criminal behavior and deserve nothing less than our collective condemnation. It’s good that you’re reading this letter. It’s good that you’re listening to what I’m saying. But reading and listening aren’t enough. You must also be willing to help me present a noble vision of who we were, who we are, and who we can potentially be. By and large, like a verbal magician, Gore knows how to lie without appearing to be lying, how to bury secrets in mountains of garbage-speak.

Armed only with a white shirt, pocket protector, slide rule, thick glasses, and some other neat stuff, I have determined that one does not have to rip apart causes that others feel strongly about in order to build a world overflowing with compassion and tolerance. It is a sleazy person who believes otherwise. So, Gore, maybe the problem is not with anti-democratic prurient sewer rats, but with you. I would like to put forth the possibility that his eccentricity is surpassed only by his vanity. And Gore’s vanity is surpassed only by his empty theorizing. (Remember his theory that antagonism can quell the hatred and disorder in our society?) For one thing, his magic-bullet explanations are a perfect example of overgeneralization and blatant deconstructionism. But more important, his bromides are based on a denial of reality, on the substitution of a deliberately falsified picture of the world in place of reality. And this dishonesty, this refusal to admit the truth, will have some very serious consequences for all of us by the next full moon.

You know what we’d have if everybody wanted to make individuals indifferent to the survival of their families? Total chaos. Gore’s rejoinders express themselves in thousandfold manifestations, with one of his assistants in despair and hopelessness, with another in ill will, anger, and indignation, with these jaundiced bohemians in indifference, and with those in furious excesses. Let us now join hands, hearts, and minds to get Gore off our back. Need I point out that his “compromises” make many mainstream killjoys nervous? One could imagine that some good might come from letting him ignite a maelstrom of cannibalism. But the only one whose imagination is vivid enough is Gore. Let us now snap V.P. Al Gore’s helpers out of their trance, because in that is our only hope for the future.

Nothing to add, really, except Tom Tomorrow’s depictions of GWB as Alfed E. Neumann always make me snicker.

Uh, no idea who I’m voting for, except it WON’T be Bush. I let my registration lapse so I guess I need to renew that first.


I’m sure a lot of people would like the automatic complaint-letter generator. People too lazy to express there own opinions. I don’t. I prefer to substantiate arguments with facts and examples, and a “letter” such as that doesn’t even deserve to be printed. I don’t believe I have ever read anything that long that didn’t say a damned thing. I’m not ranting or anything, just thought I’d throw in my $0.02.

Those machine-generated posts make more sense than some rants I have seen here.

And then there’s beagledave and lunapark who post without bothering to find out what the thread is about.

You can always catch people like that. Ask them: “The democrats are trying to pass resolution 103 which would empower women by giving them the right to decide on decisions which would affect them. Do you support or oppose this measure.”

Even though there is no such resolution a lot of people will support it or oppose it. These are the same people who complain they are being “labeled”.