I have just heard an interview with Tony Blair, in which he trotted out the traditional line of all British Prime Ministers: “The NHS [National Health Service] is the envy of the world.”
Even though this claim flies in the face of all evidence, it is one that is cheerfully made by politicians of all colours when in government. Obviously our elected representatives wouldn’t hide the truth from us, so I can only deduce that politicians don’t live in quite the same world as the rest of us - which, on the face of it, is probably best for all concerned.
But what is this world like where the legislators live? I mean, it sounds like it is basically the same as the one us plebs live in, but that little bit rosier. The only way to find out is to draw on the experience of Dopers who have heard their politicians describe the magical place where they live.
So, what is your country like according to generally accepted, non-partisan wisdom in government circles? I’m not after party political broadcasts, 'cos we all know they are just stories for children. Government policy is pretty irrelevant too, as it will have changed by the time you finish typing. And as for any misconceptions the public have – well, we can leave them out of it, since it’s an established fact that the people have no place in politics. No, what we need here are lists of statements that politicians hold to be fundamental truths about their nation, or at least they do as soon as they are in government. And we are particularly interested in those truths that seem to be, well, not so truthful.
Perhaps if we can describe these perfect nations, someone might recognise them, and tell us where they really are - and we can all follow the politicians there!
So, for example, does anyone recognise the following description? It appears to be where British MPs live.
This nation’s most famous achievement is its Health Service, which the whole of the rest of the world envies.
Proof of how well regarded the NHS is can be seen in the fact that third world nurses are being recruited to work for it. No, this cheap labour is not needed to end a staffing crisis, but is in fact a generous act by the Government to allow Commonwealth citizens to come and work for the Health Service they have always dreamed about.
This nation is such a powerful beast, that the President of the United States feels obliged to give the Prime Minister a ring whenever he wants to go to war.
Those countries who are jealous of the “special relationship” (non-sexual!) between the PM and the President try to insinuate that this isn’t strictly accurate. They would suggest that, actually, the PM rings the President and asks if the Royal Air Force can play too – but that’s just sour grapes talking, 'cos they have crappy health services.
This nation has the most effective form of democracy in the world.
It’s true, you know, 'cos this country invented democracy. And obviously the people who invented something will be best at it, right? I mean just look at how good this nation is at cricket! Sure, minority parties may complain that they don’t get a look in thanks to the first-past-the-post system - but come on, look at that debating in the House of Commons! Who cares about minority parties when you’ve got debating? And look at the National Health Service!
This nation has the safest trains in the world.
Well, there might be a few accidents here and there, but you can be sure that other countries are more dangerous. This country has such good railway systems, that it built most of the railways around the rest of the world. Admittedly, it was so happy building foreign tracks and trains that it never got round to updating its own – but that’s beside the point. The government frequently reminds the public that the trains are perfectly safe, and are the best way to travel (provided you have the time). And besides, if the worst happens, the marvellous National Health Service will be on hand to sort things out.
Does anyone know where this “other” Britain is? It sounds great! Perhaps someone has more information about it.
And what other parallel countries have you heard politicians describe?