I’m sorry for your loss.
There is no “right way” to feel, I think - deal with your feelings as best you can, recall the good, and the pain will ease, in time. Be kind to yourself, and the ones around you, and honour your memories of him in that way.
This. There are little land mines that may catch you unaware. I once burst into tears because the car salesman wore a shirt identical to my late father’s.
I’m sorry for your loss and hope your grief is gentle.
Thank you all.
I now need to learn how to take care of just me. Well, me and the cat. It’s going to be very strange when I go back to work a week from Monday and don’t need to run any errands for him on the way home, cook or clean for anyone but me, or let anyone know when I’d be home later than 6:30 so they don’t worry…besides a lot of crying being the only one in the house right now it doesn’t feel so very different than all the times when he was in the hospital, but I know it will hit me differently then.
I’m sorry for your loss.
Sorry for your loss, elfkin477. I’m 60, and both of my parents are still alive – Dad is 85, Mom 83. Neither is in the best of health, but at least we’re not yet to the point where it would be a blessing for either to die in their sleep, in contrast to your dad’s disappointment each time he woke up to another day of pain.
I can’t imagine what it would have been like to be an orphan at 42, but obviously you’re finding out more about it each day. Hope you have more good days than bad ones in the months ahead, even as the “missing Dad” moments hit, as they inevitably will.
elfkin477, so sorry for your loss, and good on you for stepping up to care for your father and being there for him. It’s an extended grieving process and no matter our age, being an “adult orphan” is tough–it takes a long time to get used to that feeling of somehow being uprooted or not having our parents there.
My condolences. Two decades later, and I still miss my dad. 
I’m very sorry for your loss and I’m sending a hug your way.