I’m so sorry to hear this, Adam. Both you and your father will be in my prayers.
I don’t have anything to offer but my good thoughts and prayers, Adam. I know that whatever else happens, your dad will appreciate having you there with him more than you can know.
Agent Foxtrot I’m so sorry to hear about your dad. Keep heart. Stroke therapy and rehab have advanced a great deal over the last few years, making his chances of recovery much higher than in the past.
Also, remember, you’re seeing injuries from the accident as well, that will heal.
CAT scans can only show the damage done. They can’t see the past or the future.
Stroke can happen to almost anyone. It is a cardiovascular event, like a heart attack. True, smokers have a higher risk, but genetics has as much to do with one’s CV health as diet or health habits. I know that isn’t much of a comfort. His age and general good health is in his favor, for recovery
The initial treatment for stroke is, for the most part, symptomatic. If his blood pressure is normal, and the bleeding has stopped, there’s not a lot of definitive therapy. Watching and waiting is all you can do now.
Depending on the areas effected, some of his function may come back fairly quickly. Just remember, while he isn’t able to communicate with you, he’s still the smart man you know. Talk to him as you always have, he’s in there.
This bears repetition. picunurse, you are the best. The single most important thing when dealing with this kind of event is to do just what she is urging you to do.
Doubling and redoubling Cartooniverse’s endorsement of picunurse’s advice. One of the best elements of therapy on cardiovascular-accident survivors (heart attack, stroke, etc.) is to treat them as the same person they were, albeit temporarily incapacitated by what happened. This gives them the incentive to fight their way back to being that person again. The temptation to “give up” and live as an incapacitated invalid, permanently, is (I think) always present in victims of such events. What you can give him, Adam, that nobody else can, is to treat him as the same father you had before the stroke – because, inside, he is the same person – and that gives him the will to recover.
I’m so sorry this has happened. Everyone has given great advice.
Years ago, my father had a massive stroke at the age of 47 and participated in the research for tPA (tissue plasminogen activator), the clot busting agent that is now used in early treatment for strokes. Several people have mentioned in their posts that there are not any real treatment for stroke. There is (very) early treatment for stroke, if it is of the thrombolytic type (a clot prevents oxygenated blood supply to the brain). However, I suspect, that your father had the other type of stroke (since you mentioned bleeding in 3 spots in his brain), which is hemorrhagic stroke…happens when an artery ruptures in the brain. (By the way there are treatments for this too but it is done very early after the event–I think hemophillia drugs are being used now). But these treatments are not cures.
Strokes suck big time. When my dad had his it did change all of our lives. I was a nurse (LPN) so of course I was the one to take care of him most of the time. I was a single parent. I worked evening shifts so that during the day I could stay with my dad (so his wife could work the family business). Then his wife would come home and babysit my kids so I could work at my nurse job. I remember I used to go and do his therapy with him twice per day. I would put him down on the floor and the two of us would do every kind of exercise that the physical therapist recommended. I would loudly hum the theme of Rocky while he pushed hard to finish the exercises. Like, I said above, he was a participant in that study. Right after he had his stroke they evaluated him and decided he was a good candidate for the tPA study (this was over 10 years ago). Then they told us he would either recieve the treatment or not…nobody knew if he was getting the drug or a placebo. We suspect that he got the placebo.
Later he went on to learn to drive. But he never tied his shoelaces again. He never played the guitar again and never was able to work productively again.
He ended up dying when he was 51, four years after his stroke, from unrelated causes.
The American Heart Association (and others) are working to change the way people look at stroke. In fact they have begun calling it a Brain Attack. Theory being, that changing the name of it will get people to the hospital faster, thus improving chances at recovery. (the drugs for treatment have to be used within 3 hours of the event or they do not work…and it takes quite a lot of time to do the testing to see which type of stroke it was–can’t give a clot busting agent to someone who has had a ruptured artery in the brain). I can’t remember now, but in a study I read only about 10% of people actually made it to the hospital in time to recieve treatment. (depending on the area of brain affected, the stroke patient might even deny there are problems and refuse treatment!)
When I went back to school for my bachelor degree in nursing (I just graduated), one semester long project was an innovation project and I chose this topic. It is important to educate people and let them know that there are life saving and life changing treatment if they get to the hospital early. I’m sure your father got there early based on what you said and these last few paragraphs were not really directed at you, rather at everyone who is reading this.
Please take care of yourself. You are under a lot of stress right now. I’m sorry that this happened. Definately look into the family leave act.
Regards,
Amy
I just wanted to give my sincere ‘thank you’ to everyone for your warm wishes and personal stories. The last few days have been very difficult, but the bleeding has stopped and my dad is stabilizing. It’s still too early to determine how much his cognitive skills and memory will be affected, but I know both he and I agree: as long as his mind is the same, whatever happens to his body can be overcome.
To answer Shirley Ujest’s question, yes, he was wearing a helmet, thank God. If he hadn’t, he would certainly be dead.
This all has thrown me into quite a bit of depression. I left work after two hours yesterday because I simply could not concentrate. Rent is now overdue again and my damn landlord won’t call me back. I just want to relax a little, dammit!
Adam
I’m sorry to hear about your dad, Agent Foxtrot.
It seems that the new year is begining icky for more than just me. Shortly after Christmas, my mom disclosed that she’d been diagnosed with kidney cancer. Surgery is January 20. We’re keeping our fingers crossed.
Good luck with rehab for your dad. I’ll keep my fingers crossed for him as well (although it may be difficult for me to type at times with all these crossed fingers.)
My 61-yr-old dad’s stroke was 2 days before Thanksgiving, 2003. He got to the hospital in time and got the t-PA just inside the 3 hour limit.
The stroke affected his right side and his speech center. He was up and walking a week after the event. He’s a vet so most of his care came from the local VA hospital. He now wears prescription shoes and a leg brace on his right foot that forces him to lift his toes. He was given a rollater (one of those walkers with wheels and a flip-up seat) but he rarely uses it. He walks with a cane and half the time he forgets to take it with him. He still has mild aphasia and can’t get his numbers right. But he can drive a car and he walks a couple miles a day.
I’m the only relative he has so I moved him in with me. Sometimes I get very frustrated and angry with him but that’s normal. At least I still have him around to fight with.
Check your local hospitals for Stroke Caregivers’ Support Groups. There are also online resources like http://www.strokesurvivors.ca/new_to_stroke_caregiving.htm which you can find on (where else?) Google.
Hang in there!! It’s a hard road but the rewards are worth all of the upset, anger and frustration.
Davmi
So sorry to hear about your father, I’ll be conjuring up the best “get well/good luck” vibes I can, and focusing them in your direction.
Please keep us informed, and don’t hesitate to ask us for anything you might require during this difficult time.
I’m so sorry to hear about your Dad, Adam. If there’s any way I can lend a hand, please let me know. You’re in my thoughts…
Polycarp, I wish I had you around when I had my stroke! Adam, I will send good vibes your way. If doctors still don’t know the cause of your Dad’s stroke, ask them if they have checked for a patent foramen ovale in the heart. That is why I had my stroke at age 24. We are all born with a hole in our heart and usually the hole heals over within the first week of life. Mine didn’t. In fact, about 10% of American’s still have this hole. The hole can pass blood clots to the brain. There’s a simple procedure using a Cardioseal device to plug the hole and most HMO’s cover the expense as stroke prevention.
Since it sounds like your father has a left sided stroke, his memory and speech will probably be effected. My stroke was right sided so I had motor, spatial, and some memory issues. As your father stabilizes in ICU, the future probably doesn’t look too bright. Stroke recovery can be fairly quick in the first weeks and afterwards progresses slowly with work. Heck, I went from paralyzed and blind to walking and seeing in one week! Rehab is the place where everything can come together and the future looks a million times better. But is also tiring and slightly humiliating. They have classes for everything like Activities for Daily Living (learning how to tie your own shoes, bathe yourself, button clothes etc.), Standing/Balance (walking tests and sometimes sports), and Speech. Since the brain has been through a trauma, the chemistry will be funky for a while so extreme emotional episodes could happen. I still have difficulty controlling emotions. Also, this website helped me and my family through the stroke: http://www.strokenetwork.org/. Here’s another helpful website: http://www.strokecenter.org/pat/caregivers.htm Stay strong and don’t be afraid to hope! Feel free to contact me if you have any questions.
Agent Foxtrot, I’m glad you checked back in with us. I have been thinking of you and wondering how your father was doing.
I’m sure you know that your depression is completely normal, for now. Don’t let it go on indefinately, though. I believe that over the course of the next few weeks and months you will draw strength from yourself and your family so that you will be able to grow through this experiece and move yourself and your family forward. Let us know how things go.
Regards,
Amy
I’d like to second Ginger’s offer to help. I’d be more than happy to cook something and bring it over. I could even bring Noah, my two-year old. He cheers everybody up! Or I could leave him home, no biggie.
Seriously, though, my email address is in my profile. I’m a very good cook and would be more than happy to bring you a few meals.