Dad had a physical a few days ago for recurrent tinnitus and numbness of his face and neck… maybe it’s a brain tumor. “Id’s nodduh toomah!” No I’m kidding, I doubt it’s a tumor.
ANYWAY, what I’m going for here is I was reading his results, and it says
Like a yiddle baby!
Yeah, it’s a family trait.
I think they misspelled “Eric.”
–Tim
Homer, I am sure your dad will be proud to know his physical results are posted on this message board.
Tim, I only open a thread with a terrible title like this one if it’s started by someone I think has a good chance of making it worthwhile.
Suffice it to say, I’m disappointed. 
I don’t know if I should be happy that I qualify as someone who could make it worth while, or sad that I didn’t…
Hmmm… how can I rectify this?
I used to have a bedroom right by my parent’s room, and sometimes, late at night, I’d hear the bed… uh… squeaking, if you know what I mean. Imagine me, an 13 year old kid, a little bundle o’ hormones and such, laying awake at night, eyes wide with terror and fear, comforter pulled tightly around my neck, knuckles white from the grip. Oh dear God. I swear, it’s the damned squeaky bed that’s always kept me from being successful with girls.
Squeak
Squeak
How can I have a successful romance and sex life if I’ve gotta hear two mid 40’s, unattractive people having wild monkey sex in the next room?
I think I’ll go castrate myself now.
–Tim is an anagram of TMI
You are one strange man Homer.
Tim: One of the advantages of being gay is that it means that you don’t visualize your parents screwing when YOU’RE screwing.
Much.
Ok, I’ll just stop.
Homer Homer Homer.
TMI.
You know I had to say it. That’s what I’m here for! 
No one else but you could start a thread called “My Dad’s nads”. You are a strange, strange fellow.
But don’t stop being strange. What would the SDMB be without folks like you? Well, it would be a lot less bizarre, but that’s beside the point…
I am, however, a little curious about this doctor.
Yer Dad: “Doctor, I have a ringing in my ear.”
Doctor: “Ok, take down your pants and bend over.”
Yer Dad: “Moooon River…”
What part of town is this “doctor’s” office in anyway?