Heh heh. How long until this meme spreads beyond this particular thread and becomes the standard response to all Pittings?
Both of the parties should die.
Keeping up with current events may not be for you.
Ho-fucking-ho: Christmas Season mini-rants
Celebrating the holidays may not be for you.
Workplace griping, anyone?
Holding a job may not be for you.
I pit guys who ask you to move 1500 miles for them and then dump you
Dating may not be for you.
DMV needs to fire this f*tard!
Driving may not be for you.
Nitpicking the BBC
British television may not be for you.
Nice tomatoes and apples, Whole Foods
Grocery shopping may not be for you.
This. Thanks for remembering. After the crappy diagnosis, we had a trip out of town planned for a graduation too. The assembled masses didn’t believe my explanations for my dog’s and my behavior when I told them I was watching my dog die FAST. He didn’t live to see Wednesday. They were at least apologetic the next time we saw them.
You should get a pug. Their attempts to chew stuff up is more funny than actually destructive.
I didn’t remember - I don’t think I saw your original post. I’m just capable to piecing together obvious pieces of information and doing simple math. 
Excellent. 40% off and they have my model shoe. Thanks.
I don’t think any of these things are for me. 
My first laugh of the day. Your posts might be for me.
Keens may not be for you. 
Yay!
Excuse me, Elmwood, I was trying to respond to my adoring public.
My dog chewed up my Keens, too. I didn’t even leave him alone very long; I was packing my bag and I left my closet door open for a minute while I walked ten feet into the bathroom to grab something else to put in my bag. It was exactly 12 hours before my flight was scheduled to take off, and naturally, my Keens were the only shoes I was taking along; I was only bringing a carry on and I had planned on wearing my Newport H2s onto the plane.
A minute was all it took for him to dash into the closet and drag one of my Keen sandals under the bed. I didn’t realize he had it at first. I heard him chewing and assumed it was one of his toys; then I noticed only one of my Keens was still in the closet. My dog had chewed through the strap of the shoe and it was unwearable. I drove the 35 minutes to REI and the only Newport H2s they had in stock (this was October) were size 9’s (too big) or the one color (purple) I didn’t like. I bought a different style of Keen that I love just as well, but it was a mad dash to get a pair of replacement shoes for my trip.
Oh, I have had a cat chew up a pair of shoes, too. It was a pair of Croc flip flops and my cat loved them. He chewed them whenever he could and he finally weakened them enough that one of the straps broke.
My adult dog (7ish years old) killed a possum in the backyard a few hours ago. If I hadn’t been out there with her, she’d probably have had intestines strewn around like Christmas garland. She also has a puncture wound on her eyebrow now from possum self-defense. I cleaned it out with some hydrogen peroxide, and gave her a smoked pig ear treat to compensate for us removing the possum.
I was pretty nauseated after all that, but if the alternative is shoe-eating, she can eliminate all the yard pests she wants.
Edit to add - I wonder what’s in these Keen brand shoes that renders them irresistable to dogs. 
Edit to further add - Letting my dog pee in the backyard at night is apparently not for me. Or for possums.
:rolleyes:
I didn’t know the full story and she explained it perfectly thereafter.
Who are the Voggs?
I too wonder what it is about these Keens that makes them so tasty to dogs. Are they made out of rawhide? I wouldn’t think that would be very comfortable to walk in.
My standard advice in situations like this is to take a section of newspaper or a magazine and roll it up. Then hit yourself in the head while reciting “I didn’t watch the dog. I didn’t watch the dog.” :smack:
Sorry about the Keens. I really love all my Keens. I’d be devastated too if my dog ate them.
I just wanted you to know that somebody laughed at this.