The toe nail tap dance, by my head, at 3am. He just went out at 11, I know he doesn’t need to go out.
Every time I buy him a new kind of treat he just has to have them. Last night he woke me up at 2am, he did that special whine that means I have to go out now. So I get up out of bed, go to the door, oh no, he doesn’t need to go out. He is staring at the top of the fridge where the treats are. He doesn’t want the normal treats, he wants the new ones.
He does this every time I buy something new.
You think I would have learned by now.
The only thing that drives me crazy is when he doesn’t tell us when he needs to go outside. He knows damn well WHEN he needs to go and he knows to go ring the bell on the door but he doesn’t always do it.
Bentley has this yawn that sounds like a squeaky hinge on a screen door. It’s cute at 10 am, but at 4 am it sounds like someone coming in the back door.
When my Gordon Setter Kharma wants attention… I mean REALLY wants my attention… she will sit next to me, gaze adoringly into my eyes, and put her paw right on my boob, then SQUEEZE with her toes. Ever got felt up by a dog?
I’d be seriously annoyed by my pooch’s attempts to wake me up when 1. He doesn’t need anything, just wants me to go play and 2. I want to sleep in!
Problem is, he’s so cute dancing around the bed on his toes, trying to jump up, that I end up laughing instead. I guess there are worse ways to wake up than by laughing your ass off.
No, the one thing that I really really wish he would stop is EATING SHIT. And I don’t mean falling off the front stoop; that’s actually kinda cute.
Crying when outside if she knows we are inside - we have since stopped that through use of a shock collar but it returns every once in a while with a vengence
Jumping up on people, especially when the aforementioned digging has occurred
Jumping up on the furniture
And no, we have not started obedience classes yet, because we had hoped we could work on many of these bad behaviors ourselves, but have given up hope and will be starting next Sunday.
When my dog throws up, he throws up. I absolutely hate it, it makes my skin crawl. It’s an entire performance, albeit an overwhelmingly disgusting one, on my dog’s part.
Rolling around in it after they’ve pooped on the lawn.
The continual pacing around the house at night if entryways aren’t blocked. It’s easy to hear the sound of paw nails on the kitchen and dining room floor even though they think they’re being sneaky.
Begging for treats every time I talk nice to them or pet them.
We can all be hanging around downstairs for hours, but as soon as we sit down to eat it’s “oh, oh, I have to go out!”
Wiping his asshole on our comforter.
Throwing up must ALWAYS be done on the carpet, no exceptions.
After a couple incidents where he went downstairs in the middle of the night to have diarrhea all over the place, hearing his nails on the floors downstairs gives me flashbacks until I hear him drinking some water.
Pissing on the bed, which she did twice this last weekend. We’ve actually come to realize that it always happens on days when we’ve taken her to the dog park. I think drinking their pond water doesn’t agree with her.
Shitz in the night…thank Heavens she usually manages to wake us first.
If she sees a rabbit while you’re walking her on the leash, she’ll yank your damn arm out of the socket. The only way to combat this is to see the rabbit before she does.
Oh, and she lunges at joggers we meet during walks. If she caught one, she’d most likely just shove her nose up their ass in a friendly manner, but it looks bad.
Crying outside the bedroom door when he insisted on leaving and I have just fallen back to sleep. Scratching and clawing on that same door. Crapping on the floor outside said door if I don’t let him back in fast enough.
Captain licks everything. He can’t stop himself. If you drag him away from licking himself or the couch or your leg he licks the air. Lick lick lick lick.
That time when she kept me at the off-leash park for 4 F-ING HOURS because she *refused * to come when I called her. She’d look right at me then bolt in the opposite direction, knowing full well that she’s the next fastest thing on 4 legs besides a cheetah and there was no way in hell I could catch her. She has since been grounded from Fun Big Forest Park and we have to make the road trip across town to Boring Rectangle-Fenced Park.
(I suppose that last one wasn’t a “regular basis” thing, but she would keep me there for 1.5 - 2 hours, sometimes longer, on a regular basis before that 4 hour day.)
Bolding mine. You need a dog trainer— more than an obedience class, you need someone to come to your house and show you what to do with your dog, because electrocuting him is just 1: causing him undue pain and 2: likely actually exacerbating your problems.
I wish I could train mine to wipe their face before they want snuggles. Mine are super-droolers, the kind that routinely has a string of drool looped over their nose most of the time type droolers.
I dream of them wearing a bib and politely sitting down and wiping their face clean before they lunge at me for hugs. Instead, I often find what looks like snot (only it’s drool) on my sleeves.
Bolding mine. You need a dog trainer— more than an obedience class, you need someone to come to your house and show you what to do with your dog, because electrocuting him is just 1: causing him undue pain and 2: likely actually exacerbating your problems.