My Dog is a Jerk

The BBQ Pit
1

My stupid hound just set me up for a $200 fine.

She put the run on the neighbor kid (5yrs old or so) who was over playing with our kid. The dog has never been aggressive to a person (can’t say the same about cats and magpies tho’) before. This came out of the blue. I don’t know what she had against this kid. So shocked was myself and the wife that we stood a few seconds with our mouths open before acting.

Holly (the dog) is part heeler and went for the kids ankles, chasing him into his yard. She returned smugly when we called her. Bloody mutt. My wife chucked her ass in the house. I’ve refrained from kicking her. I really did want to kick her, but I didn’t.

Yah, I know, some smug asswipe is chuckling to itself ‘No Bad Dogs, only Bad Owners’. Yeah I suppose so. But I will levy a pre-emptive ‘get bent’ anyhow.

Anyhow, here’s where it get interesting. The distressed mother picks up the understandably upset kid and runs into the house.

The poor kids father comes running out of the garage with a screwdriver, runs up and shoves me and mouths some kind of outraged gibberish threatening the lives of me and the dog. I tell him to ‘back off’ and he runs to his house. Leaving me standing there in the alley twitching with adrenaline overload.

I almost hit him. Hard. In the face. Very hard. The little voice in my head was very clear, ‘if he touches you again, fist in the mouth’.

The thing is, I really hate these people. Always have. Ever since they showed up and trashed up our street. They fight. They fight in their garage right across from our bedroom window. Between her screechy whines and his drunken raving, I wish they’d go out and buy his’n’hers ice picks.
Not that really I hate their kids, I tolerate their urchinly behaviour with as much good grace as I can muster. I just hate their lame, lazy, loud, fubar parents.

Now, I can understand Mr Psycho-Neighborino’s reaction to his young kid being threatened, in fact it suprises me considering how often he verbally threatens his offspring.

So…is my dog a jerk because I hate these losers? Has she picked up on my psychic maledictions?

I wish she went for fubar neighbor and ripped his balls off. Save society the price of his continued reproduction.

I wish I had pasted him in the head. At least while facing an assault charge I could have some warm feelings.

I wish I hadn’t tried to ‘make friendly’ with these inbreds by letting my kid play with their little guttersnipe.

So, Avuncluar Animal Control Guy comes by today and lobs a $200 ticket on us for letting our dog ‘chase and/or threaten a person’. Fuck fuckity fuck fuck.
Stupid dog.

Thanks for letting me unload this pathetic little episode of suburban trauma.

2

It sounds like both child and parent alike were exhibiting vivid forms of “prey” behavior. Sadly, that does not legally justify your dog’s nor your own individual response, but it sure explains a lot.

3

I think getting out of this situation with a $200 fine is the best scenario. Instead of feeling like a wimp because you didn’t punch that guy who threatened you, I think you should be proud of yourself for having the restraint not to.

Now if you can just train your dog to have the same restraint everything will be fine :slight_smile:

4

Or you could contest the ticket and dispute your neighbor’s account of the story. See what you may have to lose first before you do that, though.

5

Sound like your dog recognized that this urchin brat is running too far from the herd and tried to round him up.

Sadly, a well-meaning dog who nips at ankles has no protection under the law.

Seriously, I think this kid was probably doing something that seemed wild, and your dog responded with responsible (in the dog mind) behavior.

6

Bingo.

Which, coincidentally, was the name of the collie my grandparents had before they moved off the farm when I was six or so. Stupid dog would get between me and my destination and herd me back to where I was coming from until I cried and screamed loud enough for gramma to come save me.

Sorry about the fine, gorillacus, but the situtation could’ve been much worse. Although I’m wondering if you couldn’t fight the ticket in court…

7

What to do about the dog…

Really I wonder now she has turned 7 has something clicked in the canine brain?
She has only given our son a scare (no nips or bites) once when he tried to pull himself off the floor using her tail and her butt hair.
Other than that, she has been in our house and yard, with pretty fine behaviour.

I wonder j.c., if she sensed some sort ‘intent’ from the brat. I wonder if he and the dog have not already had an ‘encounter’ previously.

So, should I ship her off to my parents cabin?(sob)

Should I get her a downer perscription? (for me too)

Mostly likely another round of doggie class. (weeee!)

Either way, I’m building a new fence this summer. A tall one.
Maybe a guard tower.

8

If your dog is part heeler (Blue heeler, aka Australian Cattle Dog?), it’s probably exhibiting some herding behavior. Why it chose this kid to pick on is a good question.

My parents had a wonderful German Shepherd after I left home. Great dog, would play with little kids and leave the cats alone, always stayed in the yard.

Except once, when she ran out and nipped the mail carrier that was walking by the house.

See, my dad also worked at the post office, and knew the carrier, and knew that he was a jerk. I always figured that somehow Smokey (the dog) knew that, and was Doing Her Part To Help The Home Team by acting out against this guy.

(This was back in a small town in the early 80’s, so we didn’t get a fine. I wouldn’t be so sanguine about getting off if this happened with one of our dogs now.)

As far as the dog warning the kid when he pulled himself up by the dog’s tail or rear end: At age 7, the dog may be starting to have some pain or discomfort in his rear end. The kid pulling him up may have aggravated that. And sometimes dogs, like people, get a little crankier as they get older. My #1 dog, Sasha, at almost 9 y.o., has always slept on the bed with us. Lately she’s started to growl at me or my S.O. if we turn over and disturb her in her spot.

We just call her a bitch and make her get off the bed. She’s a good dog, really, just starting to get a little cranky in her old age.

Good luck, and don’t give up on the dog. You may want to get her checked at the vet’s for hip problems. Doggie classes are always good, and good fences can definitely help make good neighbors.

9

Well, if nothing else comes of this, you now have an excellent excuse to not allow Jerkface or his offspring into your yard ever again. Keep the dog in the yard, keep them out - sounds like an amenable solution.

10

Not me. I own a German shepherd. Dogs sometimes have their own secret agendas: herding, guarding, sniffing (beagles), whatever.

I don’t trust any of my dogs off a leash, except in the fenced backyard. I’m 99% sure my shepherd will stop when I scream “STOP!” due to her infrequent unplanned trips outside. However, after bolting out the front door, she came within two steps of a poor woman and her tiny dog before I could call her off (she’s fast). In my shepherd’s mind the woman and dog were threatening us by walking through our yard. She doesn’t understand easements. Since then I’ve been working on my left arm muscles, the shepherd arm.

If my shepherd actually bites someone I would expect to get sued and the city to kill my dog. Good luck.