I think someone needs to take a nap.
Pammi, my ex-husband was a truly awful person and I’m none too fond of him. Yet I would be horrified, HORRIFIED, if I discovered the same thing about him. Why? Because it also calls into question MY judgment.
I think we can safely assume that your judgment sucks, not only in choices of boyfriends and OP subjects but also in trying to explain yourself.
You’re right that this should be closed. It makes my head hurt.