I can never be worse than my girlfriend's ex

So my girlfriend’s ex from highschool (ok maybe this doesn’t count as a real ex) is all over the local news for child molesting and child porn.

Now, I know this is a bad thing. But I now I will never be the worst guy she dated.

For example, let’s say I rob a bank. People will say, “Did you hear. Sara’s boyfriend, Jebus, robbed a bank and shot a bunch of people!” But then the repsonse, “That’s nothing her ex raped kids.”

Or imagine this conversation between two of Sara’s friends.

Friend 1: Sara told me that Jebus recently got into scat porn and got Sara re-enact the videos with him. He is a freak.
Friend 2: That nothing. Her ex raped little boys.

Sure it is a low standard. But it is one I am comfortable I will never fall below.

I think it be concerned for Sara at this point. She seems to be attracting the wrong crowd.
OTOH, there was a local story in my part of the world about a 24 year old who gave birth in her bathroom and the drowned the baby in her toilet. (Currently I belive she is in jail for that). As soon as the story aired, my wife pulled out pictures of herself and this other girl from when they used to be friends.

Jebus, there’s a chance this could turn out badly, through no fault of yours. It might turn out that you don’t provide as much chaos as some part of her needs. I’m not talking about sex, I’m talking about crazy. Sometimes, a person who has been through a string of abusive relationships, that person doesn’t know how to cope with a good partner.

I wish I hadn’t posted that. Jebus didn’t ask for advice, let alone something as grim as mine. Sorry.

The guy is just someone she dated pretty casually in highschool. I met some of her more substanial exes and they seemed pretty normal.

Great username, dude. Sorry about the whole xbf thing, but I’m sure you’ll power throught it.

“Never be worse”?

That smacks of defeatism.

I agree. I am sure that jebus can find a way to be worse if he tries. Never give up and let someone beat you!

What would you advise?

Well, “I’m not the worst you’ve ever know” is kinda a credo of mine. So help me Jebus

Kittenocide?

No, no, playing with the trouser snake. Then God kills the kittens.

Oo, look what a comfy handbasket I’m in…

Yeah, but every time you kill a kitten, God masturbates.

And every time a kitten masturbates, God dies.

He went down to He-ll where frizz-frazz he fried, frizz-frazz he fried, he went…

I remembers when that damn kitten started jacking off on Calvary. Let’s just say that was a bad day for me. I still have the scars on my hands and feet for some reason. The other scars went away. It makes no sense I tell ya.