My first prostitute

Mundane Pointless Stuff I Must Share (MPSIMS)
#1

So last night I was on call at work. I got called in because a poker table went down (hint, if a computer loses network connectivity, pulling really hard on the network cable isn’t the best idea, you might not like the results).

Anyway, after fixing the network cable fiasco, I left. I decided that, since it was my Friday, I’d stop in another casino that was on the way home and play a bit of video poker.

I went in and blew through 20 bucks rather quickly and headed home. As I was walking out a rather nice looking woman stopped me.

‘Excuse me’ said the woman. She was wearing jeans and a blue chambray shirt.
‘Yes’, said I. 'Cause I’m kinda dumb about certain things*.
'Where ya going? 'Asked the nice lady.
‘Home’. Says I.
‘Can I come with you?’ said the woman.
‘I don’t think my girlfriend would like that too much’.

Then I headed out to my car.

'T’was an odd thing. For a minute my ego got a bit larger, it’s been a while since I’ve been hit upon. Then I remembered that I was leaving hooker alley and it all became clear, though she didn’t look much like the other hookers in the area. This section of town tends to be the area where the old hookers go to die. This woman was not dressed in the usual hooker garb which tends to be extremely tight skirts and tops no matter how badly they look. Also, she was quite young for the area (probably mid 20’s) and looked, in general, more like a tourist.

On the way home I had the urge to go back.

No, not for that silly.

I really wanted to go back and find out if she was, in fact, a hooker. My ego would like it a bit more if she wasn’t.

Slee

*I am sort of dumb about certain things. If I was walking around and Michael Myers stopped me and started up a conversation I’d probably chat with him for a minute before thinking ‘Hey, dumbshit, he’s got a knife and is covered in blood. Maybe you shouldn’t have stopped.’

#2

If she wasn’t a hooker, she’s a giant slut (“Can I come home with you”) or you are so incredibily attractive that she lost all self control and couldn’t resist.

1 of those 3.

#3

I thought this thread was going to be about the hooker he stuffed in his trunk.

#4

Man, I had such high expectations for this thread upon reading the title. Way to disappoint.

#5

Seriously, it’s like titling a thread “My first million bucks” and then telling a story about watching a “Learn to day trade” webinar.

#6

Hey, she coulda been being chased by her psychotic ex-lover who just happens to know that she has the secret disk that will blow the lid off the alien conspiracy in the UN, but she needs to find someone computer-savvy enough to decrypt it by hacking the internets (all of them!) and you looked like just the person who could do it!

I mean, if I had a dime for every time this happened to me… Well, it’d pay for all the money they always seem to borrow from my wallet without telling me! :smiley:

#7

In keeping with the OP: I inadvertantly picked up a hooker once.

On Thanksgiving weekend about 17 years ago, I was driving South on I-95, somewhere between Baltimore and DC. I saw a woman walking on the side of the highway dressed in a light jacket with no hat or gloves.

It was freezing outside, so out of concern for her well-being, I pulled over and offered her a ride. She got in and almost immediately started a story about being broke, needing to make money and offered me sex.

The funny thing is when I turned down her offer, she got hostile and told me just to drop her off at the “first fucking exit”, which I did. She even slammed the door when she got out of the car in a huff, obviously pissed off… I guess I should have known better.

#8

It’s only happened to me once. I was sitting at a bar and a nice young lady sat beside me and started talking to me. I was quite flattered at the attention until she asked me if I wanted a massage.

Did I mention this hotel was in Kuala Lumpur?

Needless to say I politely declined.

#9

I’m a loser. I’ve never been propp’d by a hooker. I even spent a week in Vegas alone and walked up and down the strip at all hours going to different shows & general sightseeing, and nobody even offered me as much as a stick of gum.

I’ve also been thrown out of a bar in the French Quarter without uttering a word or looking at anyone before the bouncer decided I didn’t need to be at his establishment.

#10

I was walking through one of the casinos, I think it was a little after midnight, and a young woman asked me where I was going (or something like that)[sup]1[/sup]. I said I was just out for a walk, and heading back to my hotel. She asked if I wanted some company. I declined[sup]2[/sup].

Hooker? Probably, but how could I have found out for sure without, you know, finding out for sure?

  1. I wish I could remember the exact wording. It would help in interpreting the encounter.
  2. I think I said “no, thanks.” Yes, I’m so polite I thanked a hooker.
#11

I’ve never been propositioned by a hooker, such ladies being in short supply around here, but a friend of mine was appproached in New York once.

She asked him if he was interested in some frolics, or whatever, and he replied, ‘No thanks. I’m English’, and went hastily on his way.

#12

I remember being hit up by a hooker once, on my way to work. Yeah, at 7:30am.

Times must be hard.

#13

I was approached once by a Hooker in midtown Manhattan. It was very classy.
Suddenly, this woman standing on the corner I was walking toward swiveled her eyes at me and Lit Up. It was as if someone threw a switch. Her eyes opened wide, she smiled broadly, her eyebrows raised. Everything about her body language fairly shouted Hi! How are you? I’d really like to get to know you!.
I’d never seen this woman before, and I know that I’m not likely to induce that response in a woman. I never have before or since. She was coming on to me without saying a word.

I smiled back, and shook my head almost imperceptibly from side to side. The power went off and she looked elsewhere.

Absolutely incredible. It was acting ability at its finest. And, had I been a cop, there was no basis for charging her with anything.

#14

I once picked up a hooker. BTW, I’m female and I was already in my forties then, though somewhat naive. A young girl was standing by the road in freezing rain and wearing very little clothes. I picked her up, and started giving her a lecture about the dangers of hitchhiking on her own late at night and about not being dressed for the season. I added that if she’d called her parents or a friend, someone would have surely come to give her a lift home.

I told her I’d drive her home and asked her where she lived. She replied very politely to let her off right there. I argued with her a bit… then it clicked. I let her off and told her to take care.

Talk about feeling stupid.

#15

<crosses Gloucestershire off list of potential vacation destinations>

#16

I feel bound to make some sort of comment, but I can’t for the life of me figure out what to say.

#17

So just because that isn’t a usual reaction you get from women, you assume she must have been a prostitute? Doesn’t sound like there is enough evidence to support that assumption.

#18

Reminds me of a classmate from my 9th grade Biology Class in High School who was returning from a SAT prep course back in 1982.
The route home was along a notorious “Hooker Street”. He had just gotten his full-fledged driver’s license and was driving home after dark (a no-no in FL for under 16yo). He had stopped at a traffic light and the hooker just opened the car door and got in his car.
He was in a Mercedes and stated he just about died from distress. He didn’t want her in his car. He didn’t want to be seen with her in his car. He said she was skanky.
He was a strange fellow. I remember that he poured ALL of the reagents into the dishbowl and stuck his hands into the mixture. There were two forms of poison in the reagents and they were to be poured away into the drain, not the bowl.

#19

Compared to the other posters here, I’m a hooker magnet!

First time, Miami, age 15.
Second time, Miami, age 16.
Third time, Miami, age 16, male wanted to pay me. Not sure if that qualifies or not.
Detroit, age 17.
New Orleans, age 18 and again mid-20’s.
Pensacola, age 19.
After that, age blurs somewhat, but I’ve been hit on by 'em in Cleveland, DC, Mobile and Jacksonville as well. Maybe some other places and times. It gets less memorable with repetition.

Maybe my penchant for hanging out in second rate bars in “dangerous” parts of town has something to do with it. I do love me a trashy bar where the band plays for beers.

No, I never engaged the services of any of them, but the one in Mobile was a fun conversation for about 15 minutes. Then some guy came by in a car and she excused herself, said she had to go to work.

#20

Well, since there’s an open spot on the list now, you might consider adding Miami.