Thanks for your kind words, everyone. I’ve been in touch with my friend’s mother, who is flying in tonight. Being able to help her with her plans and organize transportation and a place for her to stay has helped me feel a bit more stable. We’re going to go get her at the airport tonight and should hopefully be able to stay in the loop and here about what’s going on. They’re running some tests on her now–I believe they’ve taken her off sedation and her sister has told me she’s starting to come awake and she can move her arms, etc. which is a good sign. Because her mother isn’t here, we’re not sure if we’re allowed to go visit her or what, so for now we’re waiting to hear more. We just have to wait. Luckily her mother seems wonderful and was very kind on the phone; hopefully we’ll be able to support her during this.
How sweet of you to help her family during this time. It’s indeed a very good sign that she is already awake and able to move!
That’s so scary. Best wishes to you and your friend and I hope she heals soon and completely. Please keep us updated.
Luck to her Tanaqui.
You could try to visit. The worst the hospital does is to tell you no.
-D/a
Best wishes to her & you, Tanaqui.
It is not your fault, it was simply an accident. Please remember that.
Tanaqui,
You are a good friend. You have done lots of great things for her and her family.
The accident was NOT your fault.
Stay with your friend - she will need your love and support as she gets better. She will appreciate it onwards.
hugs Head injuries are terrifying but you’d be AMAZED at what the brain can bounce back from!
Try to visit, even if the hospital “rules” say you can’t. Staffers will bend the rules at times 
So sorry for you and your friend and all those close to her.
I think the thing to remember is that driving is not the only thing that’s dangerous when we drink too much. There are studies that show that it’s more dangerous to walk home drunk than to drive home drunk.
Let’s hope she recovers quickly
Thanks for your kind words, everyone. We picked up my friend’s mother at the airport tonight and went to visit her immediately. She was conscious and responding and was able to recognize me and my friend and her mother, of course. She seemed pretty cognizant and was able to respond to many questions and know the name of the city she was in, her own name, date of birth, etc. She was confused and repeated herself over and over, but as they only took her off the drugs this morning they said it might still be that, or maybe a result of the trauma. She has swelling in her brain and they’re doing more tests later. We’re waiting to see the results. I really just wish we’d gone and seen her earlier now. We hadn’t realized she was awake and I feel so terrible thinking she was conscious and afraid and alone. We were just all in shock, I think. They wouldn’t tell me anything when I called at first so I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t think. But we’re there now and her mother is with her, and we were able to get her some groceries and supplies and arrange for her mother’s transportation, etc. tomorrow so at least we managed this much.
Hang in there Tanaqui, it is in the coming days that your friend will need you.
You did your best up until now so don’t beat yourself up about the “could” haves and “should” haves and “maybe if I only” sort of stuff. Chances are you would not have been allowed to see her earlier as you are not immediate family.
Sudden trauma is when we get to know what we are capable of and it seems to me that you have acquitted yourself well. You got her mother to her side promptly and with as little fuss as possible; indeed you helped her get to her daughter.
You sound like a good and loving friend. I wish I had more folk like you in my life.
Wow, that sounds promising. In my youth I would get drunk and by sheer luck I was never hurt or hurt anyone else. This isn’t your fault. You didn’t force her to continue to drink and she’s a big girl able to make her own decisions.
Take gentle care of yourself.
My best wishes to your friend and to you as well.
Don’t be too harsh on yourself.
There is a reason why they call these events, ‘accidents’.
Good luck!
You’re very much not alone in that - it’s a bit of a wonder that most of us make it out of young adulthood relatively unscathed.
Glad to hear your friend is awake and alert - fingers crossed for minimal damage.
I’ll keep your friend in my thoughts. Remember one thing: You’re both adults. You are not responsible for how much she drank. She is responsible for that. Telling yourself “If I’d just put a stop to it earlier” doesn’t help anything, and is highly inaccurate, because it’s up to HER to put a stop to drinking for her. It’s not up to you.
I hope she recovers fully.
Again, thanks for the support, everyone. I spent all day at the hospital today and am kind of exhausted. She’s doing a lot better now though and was sleeping peacefully when I left. She’s talking a lot and remembers everything, so she doesn’t seem to have any damage there. She’s still confused though which is a bit worrying. We know she has 2 fractures in her skull and a few tiny fractures as well, but I think she’s doing really well. She’s been moved to a “normal” unit out of the ICU and that’s a really good sign.
We’re trying to think about organizing things now, in terms of rides, etc. and trying to support her mom. She doesn’t have any family anywhere nearby so it’s just her mom here in a strange city. We have a good bond which is great, but we’re really the only support she has here in Pennsylvania so I feel very responsible.
I keep being worried about my work, which is stupid, but I’m in grad school, and as I’m sure you guys have experienced, you don’t get ANY breaks in grad school, and I’ve spent less time doing work this weekend than I have all year. It’s like a terrible kind of vacation. I know my professors will all be very understanding but I’m still worried about my finishing my work and classes this week. But supporting my friend and her mother is the most important thing, so yeah. It’s stressful, but we’re holding up pretty well!
It’s a very, very good sign that your friend is now out of the ICU, and in a “normal” unit, considering what a head injury can do. Her prognosis must be vastly improved from when she entered the hospital. Just focus on that, and don’t worry about school and work. Those things will take care of themselves for now.
How is your friend and how are you, Tanaqui? I hope you’ve been able to feel calmer, get back into the swing of things and catch up with your work, since it seems like she is healing well and has a good prognosis.
Hey, Tanaqui - I’m sure you’re swamped and busy as all hell, but if you poke your head back in here, just know that there are random anonymous strangers out there wishing you and your friend all the best. Good luck, and don’t forget to take a long, deep breath every now and then.
You’re obviously a brilliant friend, Tanaqui, and have done so much to help her. Now her mother is there she’ll have all the support she needs to fully recover. Any visits you make will be a bonus, but I’m sure your friend would not like you both to miss too much grad school and how are you going to help her catch up when she’s able to?
Good luck to you both.