We were out drinking to celebrate the end of a few terribly stressful weeks (in grad school life.) We drank more than we should have.
It was around 1 and we were just about to leave the bar. I was going to crash at my friend’s house. I put on my coat and she went to the bathroom. I waited in the bar. But the bathroom was down the stairs. She fell and hit her head. She was bleeding a lot and knocked unconscious. She started making a terrible moaning noise, but was not responsive.
The ambulance came. I held her hand and took her coat and bag, covered with blood, with me. I went with the ambulance to the emergency room and we waited for hours. They told us she has a severe skull fracture and possibly bleeding. We had to go home. It was 5 AM. I gave them her mother’s number and her health insurance card so they know about her medical conditions. I didn’t know what else to do.
I went to sleep and called them when I woke up. She’s still unconscious and sedated apparently–intubated and on a ventilator. They told me her condition was “critical.” She’s in the ICU. I’m so scared for her. I don’t know what to do now. She’s one of my best friends here in Pittsburgh and I love her so much. I need to contact her mother and maybe let some people in our program know and I feel so sick to my stomach.
And I feel guilty. I know I didn’t do anything wrong, but there were so many points when I could have said no–no more drinking, we have to go home, whatever. It’s a wake up call for me. No more.
Sorry, Tanaqui. I know the feeling of wanting to celebrate the end of a stressful period. It’s terrible that it ended that way. Hope your friend is all right.
Accidents happen, and it’s nobody’s fault. Don’t blame yourself. You could not have predicted the future, so saying “I could have prevented it” isn’t really true. Good luck and well wishes for your friend, and you’re good for being there for her when she needed it.
I saw something very similar happen at a bar in NYC; it was a stranger but we checked on her vitals and waited with her until the ambulance came.
Really hope your friend makes a swift and full recovery.
And please try not to beat yourself up about it - this sort of thing is obviously much more common when drinking, but stuff like this can happen anyway.
I’m not one for putting personal responsibility onto an establishment, but I think bars that have their washrooms up or downstairs are asking for trouble - they call it “falling down drunk” for a reason.
I’m terribly sorry for your friend’s misfortune, Tanaqui. Please don’t blame yourself - it truly was an accident.
People come back from horrible head injuries so keep positive, you got her to the hospital right away so you did all you could. Don’t blame yourself, it was an accident.
I am so sorry, what a terrible thing for both of you to go through. Please don’t blame yourself, it was probably one of those freak accidents; I’ve fallen down the stairs plenty of times, but have been lucky enough not to hit my head in just the right way to get badly hurt. Thank goodness you were there to take care of her, and that she got to the hospital quickly, that was essential.
Her brain is swelling a lot right now, and possibly bleeding, and they are probably planning on keeping her in a medically induced coma (which requires intubation and staying in the ICU) for a while until it resolves - this prevents possible/further injury to the brain from inflammation. Yes, it’s serious, and she might have some brain damage which will require rehab, but she has a very good chance of bouncing back from this due to being so young. I truly hope she has a fast and complete recovery.
Keep us updated, okay?
One more thing - I know it will be hard for you to see her that way, but if you can, visit her and talk to her and touch her - even before she is truly awake/coherant (she might be significantly sedated for a while yet). Many people recovering from brain injury can remember loved ones being there, and what they said, even when they were still extremely foggy. It can be a huge comfort.
I hope she recovers quickly, Tanaqui. I’d choose to view it as your friend was lucky you were there to react quickly and make sure she got to the hospital as quick as possible.
