I hang out with a lot of people from different backgrounds. One of my best friends is originally from Florida, with grandparents straight off the boat from Jamaica (how she ended up in the northern states I’ll never understand). So I was talking to her recently and explaining that I wanted to go to a show:
Ace309: “Well, the problem is, there isn’t a ska show up this weekend, and I really don’t feel like rockabilly tonight. No one there has the spikey, waxy Ace hairdo… they all have my sideburns, but they match it with a big greasy Elvis pompadour.”
Sammie: “Elvis who?” <— Here I assumed she was being funny, trying to make a Honky Tonk Man reference or some such.
Ace309: “Oh, you know, the Rockabilly Cat, that guy who sang Love Me Tender and Teddy Bear… You know, ELVIS.”
Sammie: “No… no, I really don’t.”
And she was SERIOUS.
I’d continue writing, but I think the impact is pretty self-explanatory.
Elvis Grbak sang Teddy Bear? That was a “very special” episode of Full House, wasn’t it?
On topic, I am constantly amazing people with my ability to have never heard of some famous musician (though I do know who Elvis is); I just watched 3,000 Miles to Graceland the other night (a masochistic act of torture, I assure you).
I’d like to take a moment to express my utter shock and dismay. And because there are people out there who don’t even know who I am, I’m going to postpone my comeback for another five years.
That’s right, I’m going to go back to pumping gas and eating Krispy Kremes while the rest of you suffer with the likes of N’Sync and all that other nonsense that passes for music these days.
And by the way, if I ever see another movie where that hambone Kevin Costner dresses up like me, I’m gonna be forced to hightail it out to Hollywood and start kickin’ some serious ass. Go ahead. Make my day.
Elvis was a hero to most
But he never meant shit to me you see
Straight up racist that sucker was
Simple and plain
Mother fuck him and John Wayne.
Public Enemy, “Fight the Power”
Hopefully as we age, less and less people will give a damn about Elvis. In a couple generations, he’ll be referred to as that fat white dude who ripped off black music and died on the toilet.
