My high school best friend and I have reconnected over the past year. His wife (age 50) suffered a heart attack and died this morning.
I don’t know even know what to think or how to be a good friend now. We don’t live near each other so all I can really can do is be there for a call or FaceTime. He basically has no family left except for an estranged brother.
Tell him you’re there for talking and a shoulder. Poor guy. 50 is so young.
Be there for him as best you can. I’m sorry to hear this.
Be in touch by text or email-- often. A couple of times a week. Don’t wait for him to contact you. Tell him, “You don’t have to reply unless you feel like it-- no obligation, I just want you to know I’m hurting for you and thinking of you.” And keep this up for weeks or months. Phone/email contact is fine. Sometimes in-person contact can be burdensome, because it forces the grieving person to play host.
After my husband died, people quickly moved on with their lives-- even close friends-- when I was still bleeding inside emotionally for months. Those who kept up with me without making me take the initiative were a godsend. Distant friends were there for me and some close friends totally abandoned me. I still can’t figure that one out. I also have no family-- no kids, no siblings. And my husband had been ill, so his death was not totally unexpected. To lose someone suddenly – I can’t even imagine.
I am so sorry. Your friend is going to be hurting a lot for a long time.
The one thing never wrong to say when you first hear of a death: “I’m so sorry to hear that.”
This.
When my husband died sometimes the silence was deafening. Sometimes I felt like no one cared if I existed anymore. No, I don’t really believe that but when you’re grieving you’re not always rational.
It doesn’t have to be a long conversation - just say “hi” and say “I was thinking about you”. If the person wants to talk they’ll talk. If they don’t they won’t but they’ll appreciate that someone actually gives enough of a damn to call them.
^ This.
Although I suspect fear has a lot to do with the people who cut off contact. A lot of people have a lot of fear about death.
{{{{Broomstick}}}}
Before my husband died, I didn’t know what to say to people. As Broomstick said, “I’m so sorry” is NEVER wrong.
Oddly, people don’t want to bring up the deceased person because they’re afraid that will *remind *you 
when in fact, for the first months (maybe years) you barely think about anything else. Also you long to talk about the deceased person, but people won’t even speak his/her name. And when you do this (dare I say) deadly silence falls over the room. As if you’ve ventured into taboo territory. But to you, they’re still so vivid and present in your memories.
It’s all very strange until (sadly) you go through a loss like that yourself and then you look back and realize what you didn’t know.
I agree with this. Until you’ve gone through it, you have no idea what it’s like. You can’t describe it to anyone. My son has been gone for 4-1/2 years now and I still think of him throughout the day. Sometimes good memories, sometimes it’s the hard times we had while he was sick. So talking about him with me doesn’t remind me - I will never forget. I want to talk about him. Hearing someone mention his name tells me he has not been forgotten. Tell me a story about him - I love to hear what memories others have. I have a friend that avoids talking about him, even when I bring him up in a conversation. That always leaves a hollow feeling in me.
OP, there’s nothing you can do to make it all better, you just have to be there for him. Don’t forget about him. Call or text when you can just to say that you’re thinking of him. I don’t know what his family situation is, but for me, I always knew my extended family was there for me (they were grieving too). But when someone outside of the family texts me or sends me a card it’s very uplifting. There are 4 or 5 of my son’s friends that send me a text on the anniversary of his death every year. It touches my heart and makes feel proud that my son meant so much to others and that he has not been forgotten.