Hi, Vanilla, just wanted to say, it sounds like you’re friend is a jerk who happens to be a fundie. 
Not all are bad, but they are people, too, who make mistakes and can sometimes be stupid about the things they say.
I definitely hope all the best for you, especially a job, soon. Please let us know if the one you applied for works out. Best wishes.
vanilla, I once was living in a town with 10% unemployment. Also, I was looking for a job after being unemployed for a year due to a critical illness. Also, the average wage in that town, since it was a college town, was about $6.00 per hour and my previous job had paid $12.00. In other words, there were no jobs, and if there were few were willing to hire someone who had just had to take a year off, and if they were they’d hire the person who was used to making $6.00 instead of the person who was used to making more and would only accept that job until a “real” one came along. Yet my wonderful, loving brother insisted I had to be lazy, because, after all, I lived next door to a Kroger. Huh???
Don’t feel bad. People who have never been in that situation have absolutely no idea what it’s like. And, stupid people are still stupid, regardless of their faith.
Jeez was I confused.
I thought you were referring to “trust funders!”:wally
Most of the comments fit though.
‘Worry ends where faith in God begins’ is a direct steal from an arabic proverb ‘worry is an insult to God.’ And I don’t think it means what folks might think on the face of it. True believers don’t just pray, they act. They act in kindness and they act in humility. When you’re acting you’re not worrying because you have faith that your actions will have some positive end result at some time. It’s also important to remember that God acts over generations and you don’t know what action you take today, will change the world at some tomorrow.
I think most people view the world from their own comfort zone with very little true empathy of the factors that affect other folks lives. Most Americans believe that anyone who’s stopped by a cop is guilty of a crime. You believe that until you’re stopped by one who has an agenda.
One night at three in the morning my first spousal support unit and I were pulled over by a plainclothes narcotics officer. My SSU had hair down to his waist, we were driving an elegant kit car my SSU had made, and this guy was giving us a real hard time. He threatened to bust us for “being out too late without a good reason” (true) and my SSU said, “Well, you know you really can’t do that. There’s not a code against that.” And the guy being a jerk says “how the hell would you know?” and my SSU responds (truthfully), “I was with APD for five years, section/divsion whatever.” And that was the end of that encounter. But most folks live in their own little world where they don’t see the injustices and hardships that another person is encountering.
If this woman doesn’t give you more than this as a friend, why do you need her in your life? Better to be alone than to have this element in your life.
I was unemployed for four months. It was devastating to our financial well-being, and took a toll on my mental health, as well. I have a very long-time friend who was my ring-side cheerleader, telling me I would get a job, keep plugging away, you know it’s gonna happen, take what you can get for the time being, etc., just about every single day. It did help me to know he was on my side, and trying to encourage me. I appreciated it.
I finally landed a job, albeit not nearly as well paying, and with zero benefits. When I told aforementioned friend about it (with much enthusiasm…hell, it was going to at least help pay the bills!) his response?
Oh, god, you can do much better than that. Why did you settle? You know it won’t last. How come there are no benefits? You may as well have stayed unemployed. They must have really needed somebody. And so on…
I can’t decide which is worse. Friends that try to “help” or friends that don’t even do that.
Vanilla, (I almost bolded just the first letter! I’ve been spending too much time in the ‘a’ thread) you didn’t ask for advice, so please disregard if you’re already doing these things or would prefer not to.
First, a short background…When my father’s union job was finished here in Columbia (he’s a traveling electrician), my mother decided she’d had enough of the moving every year or two and wanted to stay here. My father felt betrayed and didn’t send any money. She hadn’t worked in 18 years. It took her two years to find work and even then she was working 3 part time jobs. Took her almost 5 years to find a full time job.
She used to joke that she could wallpaper our whole house with all the ‘thanks, but we chose another candidate’ letters she’d received after interviews. She knew everyone at the unemployment office by name.
I suggest that if you haven’t already, go to your local Family Services office and find out what benefits are available for you and your child(ren). There is no shame in that - you’re doing your best! Then go to your local (state run) employment services office and get to know the people there. Find out what types of jobs you might be qualified for. Find out if there’s a state recruiter - if there is, get to know him/her.
The people at the unemployment office may be reluctant to offer you information about state jobs - that would make you competition. Ask directly about them. ‘How do I get a job with the state?’ ‘What types of jobs are there available with the state?’
My mother tells me there are so many programs out there, public and private, that she knows about now and wishes she knew about when we were going through that awful time. Salvation Army’s adopt-a-family at Christmas time programs. Food banks. Programs that help a woman with professional (donated) clothing and job interview/coaching training. They’re out there! You just need to find them.
I work in personnel, so part of my job is helping people find a job. Email me if you would like help finding out about state employment and finding some of these programs in your area. (I don’t know where you’re located.) Put something in the subject line about SDMB so I don’t think its spam and delete it without reading it… I’d be happy to help you search! Good luck!
Hey vanilla, if you feel like just chatting, or dumping on someone, or just shooting the you know what, email me, ok? I likes ya - and would be happy and even honored to be a REAL friend to you.
Vanilla, i wish you all the best with your job search, i pray you get the job you most need, and the one that most needs YOU.
you try so hard and do so much, a lazy person could never touch as many people’s lives as you do on these boards.
please take some strength from the knowledge that you have all of our thoughts and prayers, and NOT ONE OF US agrees with your “friend”.
{{{{youguys}}}}
I have to see her tomorrow as we are going to Chuck E. Cheese’s for my sons birthday.
I would never cancel for his sake.(he’s never gone before!)
But after that, I won’t accept any calls from her.
She doesn’t call that often anyway.
Amazing how she knew I wasn’t trying to get employed.
I should refer her to The Psychic Friends Network.She could be employed there!
Anyone could be this way, I just felt her fundiism came in with the praying comments.
So sometimes God says no?
And why would that be anyway?
?
I do owe my former commie friend an apology.
He was nice and went out with us (bowling, to eat).
We had a conversation in Oct, where we strongly disagreed about Israel-Palestinians.
I should get in touch with him again.
Thank you all, I will e mail youse(I love CJ anyway) (CJHoworth not C J Ramone)…
Another vote for “Toxic”. Drop this so-called “friend”, you don’t need people like that in your life.
An interesting explanation, though I’m not sure I see it borne out of the modified proverb.
And I especially don’t see it considering this area is not really known for its intelligence when it comes to “phrases to get you into church”.
“Friends don’t let friends go to hell.”
“Faith is believing when common sense says not to.”
Etc. The people here are rather … gung-ho, in that they miss the boat entirely and smack their heads on the anchor instead.
Sorry to hear about your situation, vanilla. And I agree with the assessment of other esteemed Dopers that your “friend” is being toxic. Sorta like the fundie “friend” I had in college who tried her damnedest to convince me that my depression was a result of lack of faith, and nothing at all to do with a relative’s sudden death. :rolleyes:
CJHoworth ,
thank you.
God will bless you for that!
(she knows )