my "friend" thinks I'm lazy

So…I talked to “my fundie friend” today as she is taking me and my son (and her kids) to Chuck E. Cheese’s for my son’s birthday, which is Sunday.
I told her we weren’t doing all that well, what with the music uniforms for my son and all.
She said that maybe I need a job and I am just not trying to get one.
I went last June (and spent the $50 a friend had sent me-spent in on bus trips trying to get a job) some as far as 20 miles away.
I have gone everywhere within walking distance!
I see, I guess its jsut because I don’t try hard enough.
God sometimes answers our prayers with No, she says.
Ah, I thought he was supposed to help destitute widows.
Yes, she says, but I am just not trying.
I am also (according to her) angry at God.
This is news to me.

Ah, fundies, you can live without em.:mad:

Yea, it sure seems that way.

To be honest, I myself would want nothing to do with such an obviously toxic person, fundie or not.

you think she’s toxic?
I’ve been around fundies so long, they just say things like, “I’m only trying to help, I’m telling you this as a friend, so don’t be mad at me” etc.
Sometimes it just doens’t occur to me that the other person could be wrong or toxic, I alwasy think its me.I will have to ponder this.

What a nice fundie. Does she always kick you when you are down, or does she kick you sometimes when you’re up?

Toxic gets my vote, too.

A friend is not someone who, when you’re down, points out all the things you could be doing better. A friend is someone who helps you do them.

Unless this woman has exausted every possible resource SHE has to help you find a job, tell her to shut her cake-hole.

Fundie or not, she sounds like a bitch, and a lousy friend.

Its nice to hear other opinions; its rare I get to talk to an adult (heck, even my son wouldn’t say something like that to me!).
You made me feel better.

Actually, my son’s teacher, (a christian) works at City Hall, and told me about a job opening 2 days ago.
So I went yesterday and applied.
Its sounds like great hours and something i am able to do).

Woo Hoo!

::Sending Super-Duper, Non-Christian, and Yet Positive All The
Same Vibes vanilla’s way

Praying for you, vanilla.
She sounds either vicious or woefully ignorant. How important is this friendship to you? Is it worth trying to explain to her that she comes off as self-righteous and hurtfully judgemental?

Vanilla, I didn’t know you were widowed. Sorry to hear that. Have you looked into working from home? Not one of those scam-type things, but maybe you could drum up some business from the small business men in your area. Construction guys and that sort of thing. Sometimes they need someone who can help with billing and real simple correspondence. Might be worth some time to look into.

Good luck and prayers to you, 'nilla. This person doesn’t sound like a very good friend-and I know you deserve much better.

Good for you! Go for it, chica!

Oh, and your friend sucks. She’s a busybody and should butt out of your business.

I’d say “Sounds like you’re the lazy one- you’re obviously not praying hard enough for me.”
[sub]maybe that’s why I don’t have any fundie friends.[/sub]


“you think she’s toxic?”

Well, I think she is. Alice in Wonderland spelt it out better though. What got me was when you said “friend”. Made me think she clearly wasn’t much of one.

Vanilla, friends like that, you don’t need!! I like Mojo’s response, though. :smiley:

I don’t believe you and I worship a cruel God, although the impression I sometimes get of Him from other Christians is rather cruel. You’re a textbook case of what Christians are supposed to support, by the words of Christ, Himself. I’m a bit dismayed that it sounds like the only help you’re getting is “Pray.” If nothing else, I’ve got a couple of contacts in your area. Let me see if there’s anything I can do to help. I think a friend of mine might also be doing some work from home. I’ll see if I can get some information from her. Do you knit or crochet? Sometimes yarn stores pay people to make samples for them. It’s not much, but it might help.

I’m sorry this is so disjointed. For what it’s worth, I will pray, but I’ll see if I can’t come up with something more practical, as well. At least the weather’s supposed to be nice this weekend, and parks are still free. As far as friends go, you deserve better than this woman, but all I can offer you is me.

Take care,

Vanilla, your friend is being mean-spirited and judgemental.

Run, run the other way next time you see her coming. Or tell her straight out: If you can’t be supportive, I don’t have the energy to deal with you, as I am too busy trying to find and job and take care of myself and my family.

Do what you can, and don’t let anyone make you feel bad for what you can’t.

Sending positive job-finding vibes your way. Keep us informed, okay?


Vanilla, since you are both Christians, you might want to refer your friend to the book of Job and see if she sees a resemblence between herself and his friends. Don’t forget to read the ending! Oh, why not?

Job gets back everything he lost 10 times over, except, of course, for number of wives. Maybe an improvement in quality? :wink:


Hi. In case you don’t know, IAAFundy.

I am embarrassed by this woman. She had an opportunity to show Christian compassion and failed. Obviously she still has some growth to do in her walk with Christ. What she should have offered to do is pray for you to get a job. And then she should have believed that God would do it. It is not her job to pass judgement on anyone else. PLUS she should have offered to help you.

I will pray for you vanilla. If you need anything, email me.

As Esprix once put it, “Fundamentalists and their words of wisdom.” A pit thread … before WB got banned, in case you’re off to look for it. Some other examples of similar logic:

“Hey, I’m not a [insert icky thing, like bigot or homophobe], I have [people of that group] friends!”

“Look, you have to admit this is technically true.”

“Just put all your faith and energy in God and it’ll turn out okay.”

And a real gem, something I saw on a church sign today:

“Worry ends where faith in God begins.”


The thread I cited earlier.

I’m not going as crazy as I thought I was.


I’m in a similar situation, unemployed and all. Many good people are without work in this crappy economy. Try to stay positive, the bad times can’t last forever.