I’ve only had one long-lasting romantic relationship, and that’s with the guy I dated all through high school. Wonderful guy.
I was at that time an ardent fundamentalist, probably just a little bit less liberal than His4Ever. I encouraged the boyfriend to become active in my church with me, and he did.
I lost touch with that boyfriend, but have often wondered what happened to him. I googled him last night, and discovered that he is gay, and apparently making a name for himself as a gay Christian musician.
His music seems to explore some of the pain involved with being a gay Christian and feeling rejected by the church. That would be the church I sucked him into. I also said plenty of the ‘icky and wrong’ type comments, really believing them.
I’ve changed somewhat since then.
I’d love to contact him, see him again, see how he’s doing, and all that. I just wish I had an idea of whether he’d be happy to hear from me as an old friend, or whether he remembers me as part of a culture that rejected and hurt him.
I say email him and say pretty much what you’ve said here. It may be cool for him to hear that people from his past accept him now that he’s come out. As long as your motives are pure, I see no harm. He can choose to respond or not.
I was was as both a fundamentalist and a bigot. In junior and senior high, I said things to people that now shame me. A couple of years ago, I looked up one of folks whom I most insulted because of race. I apologized profusely and thanked him for his reactions to me, which actually helped me realize my stereotypes were wrong.
He was pleased to hear from me and said he always considered me comic relief.
Okay, I’ll send him a note. See how he responds. It’d be nice to get a chance to say ‘I’m sorry’ for a few of the things I said and did as a fundamentalist, and maybe he wouldn’t mind hearing that, either.
good luck, let us know how it goes! 
Be glad you can, FisherQueen There’s a guy I knew in high school who got rather unnice treatment for being gay … well, we knew he was gay. It’s difficult to describe. I remember being told, “Oh, M*** T*****? He’s gay” and immediately thinking of sex.
That was back in 1997, the year he graduated. Last I heard he was working as a prostitute in Providence, RI, after he came out to his parents and got kicked out of the house.
Several google searches have turned up nothing.