I have to relate this story now. I worked closely with this officer while on deployment. We will call him CPT Burns. During a typical “fight the incessant boredom” bull sessions that we had he posed this question to me:
Can a man have sex with another man, even one time, and not be a homosexual?
I responded that he could. That there is a huge difference between the act and a person’s orientation. Usually, orientation is a label that one must apply to one’s self and the act may result for many different reasons. I even stated that he cannot honestly believe that all the female porn stars who have lesbian scenes are truly lesbians. He replied that it is not the same for females. He also stated that any man who seeks out another male for sex or accepts an offer of sex from another man is gay no matter what he calls himself.
The only reason I still recall this story is because CPT Burns used to state, upon introducing me to people is: SSG Schwartz thinks that a man can have sex with another man without being gay. :eek:
I actually met such a person earlier this year. His otherwise straightness cred is in order, I’m friends with his ex-wife. But he most certainly got stinking drunk and aforementioned kissing did commence. And damn is he hot.
CaerieD, perhaps you should forget about her as a possible romantic entanglement. Even if she does cross over, it seems the propensity to play games and not be honest with herself or you would manifest itself in other ways. good luck with finding someone truly interested in you and who can express that openly, honestly and, uhmmm, fervently.
My gaydar isn’t broken. It’s just in need of a serious overhaul. See, instead of beeping and lighting up the little “gay” panel in my brain, it beeps and lights up the “wow, he’s a really cool guy. I wonder if he’d be interested in dating me. Or having hot monkey sex. Or something.” panel.
Dammit.
And I have, at least on one occasion, set off someone else’s gaydar with what I swear was a false positive. Just because I hung out at my UU church after the sermon on gay rights and marriage equity to discuss it with other people, 90% of whom were gay, does not mean I am also gay.
“So, phouka, when did you come out to your family?”
“Uh…never? Because I’m not a lesbian? Seriously, I like men. A lot. Men Good!” (Fuck, I’m protesting too much!)
sigh Some days, I feel like the Charlie Brown of heterosexual women.
Before my monogamous days . . . My gaydar used to malfunction within the few hours after having sex. I think it was due to depletion of testoserone. Which leads me to believe that gaydar is simply wishful thinking during a horny period.
