I’m not talking about other gay guys. The gaydar thing has been entrenched in my being and psyche even before I knew I was gay (or at least before I came out, which was when I was 15.) I’m talking about str8 guys who are strangers.
Since I was a teenager, I don’t think anyone I’ve ever known has ever mistaken me for str8. I mean, as soon as I open my mouth, flail my arms around, or express my interests, it’s pretty damned obvious I’m a poofter. I don’t consider myself especially “fem,” but I have what you might call “gay” characteristics that are quite obvious. (The funny thing is, a few guys I know have said they found me rather masculine, which I find amusing. Maybe I’m more masculine than I think. Anyway, no one’s ever kicked me out of bed.)
At my last job, everyone knew I was gay. At my current job, I didn’t burst in there with a peacock on a leash, waving a rainbow flag and screaming, “I’m a huge queer” - but I might as well have, because they figured me out long before I started talking openly about boyfriends or other assorted gay things. (Anyway, everyone’s cool with it.)
But those str8 guys who don’t know me - some at work, most I see in public - I’m convinced they, too, can tell I’m gay, even though I’m not talking or doing anything that might let them think I’m gay. I don’t think I look particularly gay in terms of dress, either. Still, I get these looks - sometimes nasty - that just say to me, “I know you’re a faggot.” Maybe I’m being paranoid - but not scared, though - I’m beyond that.
The question is: do str8 guys have their own innate gaydar? What do you all think?