Honey, don’t feel bad…
[ul][li]You might be a little dim anyway, so don’t sweat it. No, seriously, how are you at picking up when someone is hitting on you? Surprisingly, that has a lot to do with gaydar or any kind of radar - how observant you are to those around you.[/li][li]The world, including you, assumes straight until proven otherwise. Without an overt statement, I’ve worked with people for years who never had a clue until I casually mention a boyfriend in their presence (and even then it doesn’t always sink in the first time). I hate to say it, and hope no one takes offense, but the vast majority of straight people (actually, people in general) see what they want to see until you thwack them over the head.[/li][li]Your co-workers probably didn’t want to be out, so they went to some lengths to keep it from people - you’re probably not the only one that was fooled. If they were out at work, they were so subtle about it (as it’s not really a relevant workplace issue among co-workers you’re not friends with anyway) that you just missed it.[/li][li]Gay men and lesbians, when they want to, can blend in quite nicely, which is why we are sometimes referred to as “the invisible minority” (particularly lesbians, because it is still fairly socially acceptable for women to be “close friends” without arousing suspicion, even so far as holding hands). My straight friends think I “act straight,” and my gay friends think I “act gay,” but I figure I just act me. But if I’m in an Irish bar, I don’t exactly burst into showtunes, but if the bartender keeps looking over at me and keeping my drink topped off without me asking, I’ll find a way to clue him in.[/ul][/li]
Which leads me to gaydar. As someone so aptly posted from my “Ask the Gay Guy” thread (I really ought to get my handle changed now, hmmm…), mine sucks. However, I spend an awful lot of time in the gay community, and I’m getting better at picking up when someone’s hitting on me, so it’s getting better. When I’m not surrounded by gay men, though, my gaydar pretty much sucks. (Then again, I’ve had straight guys want me to seduce them, so I don’t know what to think anymore!)
And as to the gaydar/pager item, it’s a fact - saw it in USA Today online. The idea is that if you have one, and you see someone you think might be gay, and they have one, you press your button, and anyone who has one within like 40 feet or something, theirs goes off. They you look around to see who just set off your pager, make eye contact, and there you go. A nifty little novelty device! I can’t wait to get one.
If you do have any gay questions, please - jump over to Great Debates and check me out! {hee hee}
Esprix
Ask the Gay Guy!