The guy in front of me in line was buying potpourri. “Red Tulips.” Said he “couldn’t resist.” The female cashier who checked me out said to the other female cashier, “He’s cute, but soooo gay!”
What criteria do you use to “identify” the sexual orientation of a stranger?
Well, frankly, I try to spend as little time thinking about other people’s sex lives as possible. It just tends not to occur to me to think of other people as sexual creatures at all. Therefore, not only am I incapable of picking up on flirting, I’m not good at picking up on whether or not someone is gay. Now, if a guy is prancing around in assless chaps, lisping, and talking about how fantabulous (fantabulouth, I suppose, if he’s lisping) something is, I’ll probably figure he’s gay. Probably.
I’ve been told that I have X-Ray Gaydar ™, to the point of picking out a few guys as gay/bi before they’ve consciously figured it out. I usually get an overall impression, and follow that up by looking at specifics.
Eye contact, for example. If I’m talking to a straight guy, they tend to make less eye contact than gay men. Gay guys also tend to seem a little warmer and more animated. If they’re interested, at least.
Secondly, a good number of gay men just move differently. It’s hard to describe, but the muscle movements seem to a bit smoother and more consciously controlled, especially the neck and head.
Also, in conversation, gay guys tend to behave a little differently, though this one I really can’t articulate. It has something to do with maintaining less emotional distance, I guess that translates itself to body language somehow.
I don’t think gaydar is something that can be taught, you either pick up on it or you don’t. It can be amazingly accurate, though.
I have absolutely zero lesbian gaydar, though. A good friend tried to explain it to me once, but it was like trying to bore through a brick wall with a cube of jello.
I prefer not to leave these things to chance, so I am always certain to wear at least two (2) major identifying symbols at any time. Because you never know when someone might be curious/attracted/desperate.
If a person puts a hand on my thigh, I think nothing of it. If a person puts a hand on my thigh, and then starts sliding that hand up, I kind of assume the person is into women, at least at the moment.
I lumber. I slouch. And I’m gay. Make of that what you will.
I have no gaydar. None. I just have this mental assumption that everyone is straight, or otherwise unavailable. Often that assumption has persisted until I’m actually doing the nasty with the guy, and I’m forced to reconsider my preconceptions. (“Wow. He’s a talented fellator, that’s for sure. I wonder if he might be homosexual?”)
Life is a lot easier now that I’m off the market. I can look at everybody, and appreciate them, and not have to even think about whether I have a shot at taking them home.
Occasionally my gaydar reacts with a huge “bling-bling”, but so far I’ve been unable to confirm. So I still don’t know if it’s true gaydar or just delusions.
I don’t know what it is about a person that triggers it, but I do know that whatever it is, it works on Pricegal’s gaydar too. Hers is much better than mine, and has been shown to work as well.