And I’m not impressed. She had beautiful long hair that I liked very much and cut 11 inches off.
She had asked me earlier before this happened what I’d think if she cut it off. I told her it was her body but I liked girls with long hair.
Now it’s barely to the bottom of her neck. Asked me my opinion again and I was nice but reiterated my previous statement that I prefer girls with long hair. She basically told me she wasn’t impressed either but assured me it would grow back. Yeah, in two years.
I don’t grow a beard because she prefers me clean shaven. That’s it, I wanna look good around her so I shave. She made a very rash decision and I’m regretting it. If she looked like this when I first met her I wouldn’t have asked her out!
I know i sound like a dick but that’s a lot of hair. It was my birthday Friday and she does this? Yuck!
So…the length of her hair impacts your affection for her, more so than the quality of her character?
I have mixed feelings about this, I confess. On the one hand, I have long hair, always have. It would be very harsh to get a cut and be as disappointed as she is with the result, poor thing. She has my sympathy. On the other hand, the Gods that be have sent her an opportunity to see, possibly with new eyes, the true depth, or lack thereof, of your character. A blessing perhaps?
I wish you Good Luck! I think you’re going to need it!
Maybe you can get back at her by letting your bread grow out.
Abrupt change can be jarring. Perhaps it won’t be so bad once ya’ll get acclimated to it. And maybe she’ll let it grow to a length that you both like, but that’s still different from what she had before.
I go through periods where I grow out my hair (say, to my shoulders), then get sick of it enough to cut it all off. I warned my husband, who’s also a long hair lover, about this when were dating. I’ve warned him repeatedly after we married. His reaction is still the same: He doesn’t like short hair on women, and especially on me, because it makes me look masculine.
I had short hair most of my life. I have a petite face and long hair overwhelms it once it gets to a certain length. Most of the time I pin it up to get it out of the way, so it’s like I already have short hair. I haven’t had it cut since last winter only because I can’t afford the upkeep if I did chop it all off. Ditto haircoloring (I’m all thumbs when it comes to at-home stuff).
And if she’s not feeling great about how it looks and having some regret about cutting it, you harping on how shitty she looks and how you aren’t attracted to her anymore isn’t helping.
If you like her for who she is, try to be a caring boyfriend and think about her, instead of yourself. I’m pretty sure she didn’t do this to spite you, or deliberately try to make herself unattractive.
My boyfriend many years ago had beautiful long hair, natural chestnut brown with caramel highlights that was halfway down his back. He went away for a week and came back with it all cut off. I didn’t like it, but I didn’t get all butt hurt and threaten to dump him. Plus I suffered through months of him growing it out again, including the looking like a crazy person sticking out everywhere stage.
It’s hair. You’ll get used to how it looks, and it will grow.
Imagine if we could approach each other with open curiosity, and love each other unconditionally, and learn see each other clearly, and accept each other without judgement. If we could seek to help others bring forth their true selves, and let them be all they can be, and have them do the same for us in return.
Imagine no longer feeling the strain and exhaustion of trying to bend others to our will, and to be relieved of the weight of the demands of others. Imagine being a bearded guy, in a relationship with a short-haired girl, and just let things be what they are. Imagine meeting each other in pure innocence, like children, and letting the burden of falsehood and imposed dominance fall away.
(Also, imagine if I could meet a girl who would let me wear my lederhosen without making a fuss. That would be the day.)
The OP reads like an angsty teen but the join date puts paid to that notion.
Stop being so angsty and start reaffirming all of the positive qualities your girlfriend possesses (especially if she is not happy with the cut either). If you can’t support the decisions your girlfriend makes then you are better off quitting the relationship now before anyone gets more invested than they already are.
You’re investing a lot of energy in this. If you’ve expressed your thoughts as…candidly to her as you have here, at least you’re giving her an early warning as to your character and inability to tolerate her not bending to your will.
On your birthday, the love of your life decides to become someone you never would have asked out in the first place. Dump her. She doesn’t deserve you.
I think you do certain things to please your partner. Let’s take another example, what happens if she decides to stop shaving pits and legs. Would that be ok?? If your partner changes so far away from the person you fell for, at what point is the other partner allowed to complain. Personally, I told my wife I don’t care if she smokes occasionally, but she better not get addicted. What happens if something snaps in your partner and all if a sudden he is rapid Fox news believer? At what point does the change get to a level when you can complain??
I disagree with the OP, I love when my wife experimented with her hair and i miss those days, but alas shes middle management now so the days of red red hair or extreme haircuts are gone.
Things like shaving underarms, hairstyles, clothes, etc., are superficial. They don’t change who you are as a person. Changing political or religious beliefs could be, but not necessarily.
And how exactly does a smoker avoid getting addicted? The point of addiction is that it’s not voluntary.