I get the impression the OP is young. It is entirely possible that he didn’t know how much the change would bother him before it actually occurred.
I’m not thrilled with the notion that appearances would be such a huge factor for some people but I’ve been around long enough to know that in fact that is the case for some people. Whether I like it or not that’s still how the world is.
Knowing how important appearances are to you is an important bit of self-knowledge, even if it’s not always a flattering fact.
Well, that part definitely didn’t apply to me. The wife I’m having issues with is German. I’m sure my wearing of lederhosen would be the least of her complaints.
Read it again. He said entirely by choice, which one assumes precludes a disfiguring skin condition.
I think there’s a spectrum of “right answers” here and each couple funds their own place on that spectrum and the right answers for themselves. Unlike Shayna, I would run it by my husband if I was going to dye my hair purple. Doesn’t mean my relationship is more or less solid than hers is. It’s just how we roll.
I keep hearing this but I don’t think it’s true. LoL is very plain spoken on their website about whether or not they can use hair, what they do with hair that isn’t long enough for their needs, and so forth. The only people getting “scammed” are those who don’t bother to read their site thoroughly.
Heat treatments and chemicals used daily are more of an issue than shampoo in and of itself. You can’t grow hair waist-length and treat it with chemicals and heat daily, it simply won’t last enough enough to get that long so anyone with waist-length hair is giving it minimal treatment as it is. If you JUST shampoo as truly needed (and not daily - unless you’re engaged in daily dripping-sweat exercise your hair doesn’t actually need daily shampooing) with a mild shampoo it will be fine for wig material.
I think it’s pretty well known that a lot of men prefer long hair on women, but shoulder length hair is generally considered “long”. For some people that’s actually as long as their hair can possibly grow. Prior to this thread I’d never heard shoulder length hair called short.
You express your opinion to your husband about his facial hair, he disagrees, then what? It’s just the other side of the coin: expressing an opinion vs. asking the other person for their opinion.
I agree with this the most. It’s okay to have preferences. I, personally, hate mustaches–plain mustaches, beards and goatees are fine–because they make my skin crawl*. But then that means I probably wouldn’t date a mustache aficionado.
It’s also okay to break up with someone because you’re just not feeling it, for whatever reason. If your feelings change, your feelings change. (I know you said you wouldn’t leave her, but this does still apply.)
That being said, I can’t help but laugh at the idea that shoulder-length is considered “short,” seeing as my own hair looks like this.
*This is actually related to something kind of icky that happened to me as a kid involving a man with a mustache. Not going to discuss it here, as it’s not really relevant to the thread, but I wanted to be clear that the aversion to mustaches is NOT simply “shallowness.”
Reading this post made me so glad that I just shaved my head…because it will automatically exclude me from ever having to deal with a guy like this!
OP: If the hair is that important, offer to pay for extensions. Then it’ll seem like you’re being nice when you’re really being…let’s just leave it at that. Have you ever grown your hair out? Do you know how hot, heavy, and uncomfortable long hair can be in hot weather? Plus, it can be super expensive to maintain, depending on whether or not you’re biologically endowed with super strong, thick hair or the wimpy, baby fine kind that breaks after a light breeze blows through it (only a slight exaggeration). Long hair looks cool but is a major PITA. Unless you’ve experienced the maintenance of it first hand, you’d never know. I think because women generally DO know all about it, they’re going to think you’re being sh*tty for putting so much emphasis on it. You’re completely objectifying her when you see her as a collection of pretty parts there for your amusement instead of a complete, whole person with her own opinions and style preferences. I frankly think it’s incredibly sad that men like you think this way. Thank goodness by BFs have never been this immature and vain. WOW.
I have the same reaction. I think a lot of women prefer short hair and updo’s because it shows off our faces- you know, the part of us that shows our mood and personality and individuality. We tend to see our faces as a really important part of our appearance.
Long hair, on the other had, is a symbol. Often, the long-hair fetishists don’t care if the long hair even looks nice, they just want that symbol to be there. And hearing guys go on and on about how we owe them that symbol, whether or not we like it or feel it is attractive, makes me more than a bit touchy.
Anyway, I grew out my hair when my classic pixie cut started to look less “young and spritely” and more “soccer mom.” Frankly, I think my longer hair looks pretty bad. I have thin, fine hair and even with a fair investment in time and product it still looks pretty meh. But what I hate is that my eyes and face are always in shadow, overwhelmed and unbalanced by a bunch of not-particularly-lovely hair. To me, it’s just not my best look. It makes me feel dumpy, weighed down and unprofessional.
But there are guys who say “Hey, I don’t really care if you feel gross and ugly. I don’t really care if your face looks bad. When I look at you, all I really need to see is that you have that sex symbol. That’s what important to me. So why are all you ladies being so uncooperative and not giving me my symbol?”
So glad hubby loves my two-inch dyed-burgundy hair. And called me “babe” when it was shoulder-length and graying. And couldn’t keep his hands off me when I weighed 225 pounds. And calls me his “tomato” now that I weigh 150 and run marathons. And kept me on an even keel with his steadfastness and humor when I was freaking out about an abnormal mammogram and the ensuing minor surgery to remove the funny bits (all clear now). And likes the fact that I rarely wear makeup because “it tastes funny.”
And has loved me inside and out for 25 years. Thank you, dear, for being a real man.
