Dude. It’s hair. It’ll come back. Chill out and grow up.
Which you essentially still do.
Let’s back off referring to other people with these kinds of names.
Maybe I’m a superficial asshole but I would hate you for chopping such hair.
I hate this argument. You’re not the only person making it, to be sure, but I quoted you since you are the most recent.
If my husband were to gain 75 pounds, I would be less attracted to him. That doesn’t mean I would stop loving him, think him a terrible person, or leave him. But I would not be as attracted to him.
That does not make me any less of a “real woman” than someone who overlooks that 75 pound weight gain. In fact, one might arugue that because I would be more likely to try to talk to him about it and try to determine what was going on emotionally to cause him to stop caring about his weight, I’m a more supportive partner. But then one would have to cede the moral high ground that comes with thinking we should never over-appreciate someone’s appearance lest we be too shallow.
Bringing the “OMG if you prefer long hair you must be a beast who wouldn’t even care if your girlfriend got cancer” is pretty flawed reasoning, too. Saying, “Wow, I was bummed that she cut her hair” is not the same as saying, “Get sick and I’m outta here!” It’s just not.
Would you think he did it on purpose to spite you, since you specifically mentioned you like trim before? Would you think this weight gain is a sign he clearly doesn’t care one iota about your feelings or you? That’s what the OP is, seemingly, doing here.
It’s ok to say, “Ugh, my significant other did X superficial thing and it’s not attractive.” For instance, if the OP had said, “Ugh! My girlfriend chopped off all of her hair. I’ve made no secret for my preference for long hair, but she did it anyway. It’s not even a good hair cut, either!” I don’t think he’d be getting so much crap. Suggesting there were deep, persona, and serious ulterior motives behind her haircut is the silly thing here:
Not to defend the real men comment (I generally hate those comments too, for what it’s worth), but I suspect that poster meant that he’s a real man in that he’s comfortable and secure enough with himself and his relationship to understand that a haircut is just a haircut (as opposed to a good ol fashioned thumb biting or glove slapping)— not that “real men” (whatever that may be) are happy to be with uggos.
Just to add another possibility here, a while back I discovered that a big part of how I see and recognize individual faces is based on how their hair looks. For instance, I attended all of junior high and most of high school with my (now) wife and her identical twin sister, and although I recognized them by sight from around the school, it wasn’t until I actually met them and got to know them personally that I realized they were even related, and the thought that they were identical twins never crossed my mind, because they had different hairstyles whenever I saw them.
It’s probably not the case, but I wonder if the OP experiences something like this?
ETA: although, for what it’s worth, I find pretty much any hairstyle attractive; I just don’t always recognize the same person if it changes.
No, I wouldn’t think it was a spite thing. I feel like a lot of people kind of moved on from what the OP was on about anyhow and started bringing in things like weight and would you still love this person if they had a debilitating disease or needed chemo or whatever.
Do I think the OP perhaps overreacted and made it all about him? Sure. Do I think others took it wayyyy to the other extreme? Yup. To me this thread was 20% about hair and 80% about the exclusion of the middle that the Dope is so fond of. I took the ‘real men’ and similar comments to mean that real men don’t care one bit what decisions their significant others make about their appearance and, furthermore, are therefore more supportive in health crises. It just seemed to assume a lot.
I’m still giggling a little, though, about the guy who needed to hear that no, you didn’t think he should braid his beard and bead it, Jack Sparrow-style. Thoughts and prayers to him. 
Yeah, there’s one of many reasons he’s now a long ago ex. See? I can be superficial, too. Superficial isn’t inherently bad as long as it’s tempered with more serious things-- like the fact that he was a total whiny douchecanoe with no drive in life.
I guess I see both sides. I would think that either party in a relationship would at least talk about a rather drastic change in appearance before doing it. But not because he or she needs permission.
I totally get why the guys “who only like long hair thing” come off as assholes. It removes the individuality from women, among other things.
BTW my wife is stunning in short hair. I begged her for years to cut it. She had short hair for about 5 years. Now she wears it long again…she’s still jaw-droppingly gorgeous.
For a haircut, in my case something really minor, I’ll present my case and be happy that she at least listened to it, no matter the result. She, for instance, stopped dying her hair 6 months ago (whenever she asked for my opinon I’d adice for it) and now she’s grown to like her natural color again. Never sweat for minor stuff.
We don’t have a “run by” list, but after 25 years we know what needs to be run-by; part of why we’re still together.
The thing about a tattoo or a mohawk or blue hair is that it’d be so out of character with her that it wouldn’t be the esthetic issue but the radical change that’d worry me.
Which I sincerely appreciate — thank you. :o
Thank you, too. 
However, when it got that long it was a pain in the ass. I would constantly close the car door on it, roll it up in the window, and my husband would roll over and sleep on it, causing it to pull when I tried to move. I can’t imagine ever letting it get that long again (I also used to be a Locks of Love hair donor, but I’m long past the age where my hair would be of any use to them anymore — it’s 70 percent grey under that purple), so there’s really no motivation. Plus, it’s freaking hot (as in sweaty hot). Ugh. No thanks.
Truth be told. I saw her in person and she’s still the same sweetheart I remember her as. She mentioned how worried she would be that I would freak out at the sight of her (lack of) hair. I didn’t think it was too bad.
Does that mean that all of your angst in the OP was merely at the idea that she had done something that you didn’t want her to? Glad to hear it wasn’t a deal breaker, I guess.
Enh, big changes are shocking, and I don’t think venting is a crime. Changes always happen in any kind of relationship lasting longer than a month, and its a chance to see how the couple reacts and deals with such changes. Some are deal breakers, and others just require time to adjust and adapt.
That’s normal, and its good to find out what’s important and what’s not; it’s all a learning process.