Fair enough. I am not a true misogynist though. I love women in general whether it be daughters, mothers, grandmothers, aunts, friends, employees or employers. I am just generally against ones in a relationship because that is where the streets of reality end and PsychoTown begins. I have experienced and closely known too many batshit insane cases to ever fully trust a woman when it comes to that. I know they don’t set out to do it and not all of them do but the risk is much higher than jumping in shark infested water wearing chum underwear.
Shagnasty, perhaps you should look into why you choose that kind of woman. I say this without anger or sarcasm, I’ve been guilty of picking men as partners who shared the same flaws, thereby dooming the relationships from the start.
As for the OP, I’ve known a number of people who do that, men and women. I’ve been guilty of it myself, a couple of times, anyway. I don’t think it’s a big deal.
The opposite has happened to me. I’ve responded enthusiastically to remarks from others, only to have them look at me oddly and say “well, of course you think that’s funny/wise/correct - YOU were the one who said it first.”
So apparently I have great thoughts, but am unable to hold on to them.
When I was a kid, my brother or I would say something, and my father would immediately repeat it like he was the first person to say it. When either of us would complain that we’d just said whatever it was, he’d act sullen and say, “Well what if I wanted to say it?” He didn’t even hide that he knew I’d said it first, and I could never get him to understand that by doing that, it’s like what I said didn’t matter. It really irritated me.
My sister called me a while back because she was confused. My brother mentioned the time, about 30 years ago, that Mom was driving him somewhere and they were almost hit by a train. She seemed to remember me telling her the same story, but he insisted that I hadn’t been there.
The actual incident happened on the way back from visiting him in the hospital, after his medical discharge from the Marines. It was just Mom and me in the car. I was finally able to convince him by pointing out the location and its proximity to the hospital he was in. I love Google street view.
You could not win an argument with my Dad’s second wife. If you finally got through all the logical fallacies, ignorance, and just plain stupidity and managed to convince her that her insane position was wrong, she would–within seconds sometimes–remember her former position as yours and yours as hers. In her mind she had just convinced you that your crazy idea was just that.
It boggles. It took me quite some time to convince myself that she wasn’t faking it for some unknown reason. When I was sure she really believed it I just stopped talking to her.
This happens to me. Apparently the people I hang around with pay more attention to what I say than I do. Sometimes this isn’t a good thing. My excuse is that I have a Condition: CRS (can’t remember shit.)
I have a feeling you two are about the same age as I am; I have to check to make sure I have pants on before going out these days.
I used to have a friend that would take my funniest jokes and stories and use them as his own while I was standing right next to him. He would deny their origin when questioned, even when asked about it in private. Dude, I hope you’re not trying to lie to ME about it, I was there! The worst part was that I didn’t have that many to spare, so basically, he took about all of 'em. I also made the mistake of sharing a story idea I had with him. Luckily, I’m lazy and never actually write much of anything, or lawyers would’ve been involved.
My dad does this somewhat frequently. My mother knows this, and will “plant” ideas in his head for him to proclaim later. Many are about house renovations, but it applies elsewhere too.
Example: Said about 2 years ago: When we repaint the living room we should use a warmer colour like a cream or yellow, since that room tends to be cooler and darker.
This fall “We should repaint the living room, maybe in yellow, to brighten it up” (said the man who liked all rooms to be in blue and green shades).
It can take several years to plant the ideas but for my mom the scenario is:
- Tell idea to Dad.
2.??? Wait??? - Profit!
I’ve heard this isn’t uncommon amongst married couples, but I haven’t had the presence of mind to actually try it myself. Yet. 
There was an interesting NPR loop last week about how easy it is to change a person’s memories, or even implant them. It was kind of scary, but I suspect it’s something cops have known for a long time. This link goes to the Guardian’s article; I think NPR was covering the article itself, but I can’t find it on the NPR site.
My ex’s dad had the steroids version of this. He would occasionally do this WITHIN A SINGLE CONVERSATION. Once we were in his backyard (picking one of my then GF’s things up or something, can’t recall) and saw some pigeons. He corrected me and said they were doves. I just said “aren’t they the same thing? I think it’s an arbitrary distinction.” We went on back and forth with me half-agreeing with him that there are certain traits that may make someone more likely to call a pigeon a dove (like a dove generally being smaller), but vocally disagreeing with the general thesis that they were was a definite clear, taxonomic difference. Especially since he was listing things that I’ve never even considered relevant.
Eventually we just agreed to look it up. I got out my phone, looked it up on Wikipedia, sure enough, it says that they’re the same though dove may more commonly be used to refer to a pigeon. Which is “just what he was saying the whole time!” Obviously, of course… I know I’m not just crazy because my GF was there to witness the whole conversation.
He has similar quirks that aren’t QUITE this that pissed me off. Once my GF was moving into a new apartment and she needed some important stuff like toilet paper, fire extinguisher, etc. She was just about to start a new job (a very low paying CNA job, which she had to pay rent with and a host of other expenses). He agreed to buy her the important stuff for her apartment. So he said he’d pick her up at 10AM to go shopping. Never showed up. 11AM, never showed up. We called him “oh yeah, we’ll be there in 30 minutes!”. Didn’t show up for another hour and a half. We eventually go to his house to see what’s going on. He says they were just about to head over (right), but they can leave in an hour. Now, I’m visiting her in a town that’s about an hour away, it’s Sunday, I have classes the next day and need to get home. So we just ask if we can go to Target and start shopping and have him meet us there. Sure we can, that’s a great idea!
So we go to Target. Get everything. He’s still not here, so we call him to see what’s going on. He starts yelling that she went to the store without him without his permission (read one paragraph up, he said it was a great idea). So he would NOT be paying for anything. She said that she had LITERALLY NO MONEY. And she legitimately needed the stuff (she had no food in the apartment, for instance). His response? That’ I’m good for it and she’d just have to pay me back when she got a paycheck. Might I remind you that he was going to cover it completely, not as a loan. So not only do I get (temporarily) stuck with a $100-150 Target bill, she had to pay 100 bucks that was not at all planned. This isn’t quite what the thread is about, but is still him thinking he said something completely different than what he said.
I might put the first one down to us misunderstanding him or a bad joke or something if he didn’t do it all the damn time. My GF would call me to tell me something he said (often about computers), I’d say something correcting it, she’d call him back and if he was wrong, of COURSE that’s what he meant, she just misunderstood him.
She would distinctly remember things from high school, and he’d say that she should have listened to him and done the right thing when that thing was what SHE was arguing for. The very best we could ever get out of him (and this was astonishingly rare) was that he misspoke but really MEANT the correct thing. Very occasionally we’d get him to say that he said something different just to see if she’d do the right thing.
He was also an uber-Objectivist to a level I’ve rarely seen even among the most insane members of the far right. It must be really easy to assume the poor are stupid or lazy and the rich are smart and dedicated when you literally revise reality in your head so you’re never wrong.
No wonder she had issues (though thankfully not THAT issue).
Inception!
Amongst other things that NPR/Guardian article refers to the Lost in the mall experiment. That kind of thing dates back to the 70’s, perhaps earlier.
It can even happen with memories you recall vividly.
Don’t be absurd: you’re the jerk who stole her CD after she bought you lunch.
I’ve seen this sort of thing multiple times, but I think it’s usually just an honest mistake. For instance, I know people who have taken somewhat famous quotes reworded and claimed them as their own. I know this sort of thing happens all the time artistically. Personally, I’ve worked hard on a new melody only to find out some time later that it was surprisingly similar to something I had heard before.
I’ve done this sort of thing myself. For instance, I’ll remember the conversation where an idea was generated but not who that conversation was with. So I might mention that idea to someone else, only to find that I’m telling the idea back to the person I had that conversation with.
Either way, I don’t think it really matters too much. If it’s a good idea, does it really matter who came up with it? Maybe if you’re at work and you’ll get props or a bonus out of it. But in a personal relationship, all that matters is that you all benefit from it, right? So in that case, I’ll generally just let that stuff slide because it just doesn’t matter.
Get therapy.
No offense with this …but attention whore might cover it.
Or maybe a mental related condition that causes her to treat hearsay as fact.
time to reflect on what it is about psychos that you find attractive…and avoid it.
People seek out certain traits in partners. Time to stop blaming the crazy bitches for being crazy and just stop dating them.