Background: I am somewhat absent minded. I occasonally forget to tell people things, having told everyone else and thus assuming that I’ve told them. This is not a particularily common occurance, but it does happen from time to time.
But it’s REALLY fucking annoying when people who I know I have told things claim I haven’t. Not ‘I don’t remember you telling me that’ it’s automatically ‘You must have imagined telling me’. Can people not even imagine that my interpretation might have some credibility? What’s even worse is when I not only remember telling them, I remember having the same ‘You’ve never told me that’ conversation with them before, often several times. Fortunately not too many people do that or I’d either be in hospital for a burst blood vessel, or in prison for multiple homicide. Well, probably not, but it would be close.
I mean sure, sometimes it might be the case that they are right and I really haven’t told them. In some cases I’m certain it is. However, I know that I’m not completely delusional and the number of times that this happens and they completely dismiss the possibility that I might actually have told them this is ridiculous.
I have no idea how to finish this (admittedly rather weak) rant, so I’m just going to glare ominously and stomp off into the distance.
You need to get people to sign for things that you tell them, like when you sign for FedEx. “Initial this, please, so we’ll both know that I did tell you to pick the kid up at soccer practice on Friday.”
Duck Duck Goose: Hmm. Not a bad idea. The problem is that it’s usually not for things which are that important, so it would seem trivial to get people to sign for them. It’s things like “Hey, you never told me you used to live there.” “Yes I did.” “No you didn’t.” “Yes I did. We had a 30 minute conversation on the subject not two weeks ago.” “No we didn’t, you must be imagining it.”
I may take your advice for important things though.
Mangetout, Miller: Don’t worry. I’m sure the missiles now heading towards your house are also purely imaginary. As is my cackling “Bwahaha. Retribution is mine.”
I’d be grateful. You’ll never run out of anecdotes. “Did I ever tell you I used to live in that house? No? Could have sworn… anyway, it was back in the waning days of the Century of the Fruitbat and I…”
I’d be grateful. You’ll never run out of anecdotes. “Did I ever tell you I used to live in that house? No? Could have sworn… anyway, it was back in the waning days of the Century of the Fruitbat and I…”
I’ve some stuff like that happen, but the other way around. For example, I have a perfectly normal memory of a friend telling me that his girlfriend’s parents weren’t married. It was in the context of a conversation about marriage, etc. The point was that her parents had been together for over 20 years and never “got the piece of paper”, so to speak. Later, I made an offhand comment about it, and he had no idea what I was talking about. They had been legally married for 20+ years. To this day, I don’t know whether I just conjured this memory out of whole cloth, remembered it from a dream, or misplaced the people involved in it, but it was not a correct memory, whatever it was.
Memory is a poorly understood thing, and is capable of being incorrect under a number of circumstances.
Me, I can’t remember whether I drove my car to the convienece store before I had my driver’s license. My sister swears I took her when I only had my learner’s permit. I swear I didn’t. My dad says this is the only time he checked my odometer (based on my sister’s story) and that I did.
I don’t trust him. And it’s reasons like this that even though I majored in history, I still don’t trust all the “facts” that I read.
About 10 years ago, I was visiting a college friend who had a rambunctious cat (who was literally bouncing off the couch just
inches from my head as I tried to sleep). She came out of her room
to calm it down & it scratched her chest.
To this day, she talks about how the cat scratched MY chest! Of course, every day of my visit back then, I had to take a walk while her pot-buddies came over so she could get stoned with them, tho I have yet to remind her of that (making a mental note to do that when she claims that again).
Well, the thing is, it happens with several specific people. It’s not that everyone does this to me, only 3 people that I can think of offhand, although I’m sure there are a few others. (That memory think y’know. )
It also helps my side that I often later have independent confirmation that I have indeed told them.
As I said - I’m sure sometimes I really did forget to tell them. I’m equally sure that most of the time I didn’t.
kitarak, I’ll trade you some of my friends as I have the opposite problem: They keep telling me “do you realise it is the tenth time you tell me that?” Then they’ll recite the rest of the story and I have no idea how they do it because I swear I never told them.
gigi, age 11: hey, ma, where did I get this scar under my nose [It’s not noticable but I happened to catch it under the light just so]?
ma: that was from when you fell ice-skating when you were 5.
gigi: OK, great.
[flash forward 20 years]
ma: kids end up hurting each other when they didn’t mean to. Like your friend Chris didn’t know there was a rock inside that snowball that was going to hurt you.
gigi: ma, what are you talking about?!
ma: you have a scar under your nose from when Chris hit you with a snowball.
gigi: you said it was from when I fell ice skating.
ma: no, it was from the snowball.
gigi:ok, ma.
[flash forward a few months]
I bring up these conflisting stories again and not only does ma deny that either one is the reason for the scar, but has no memory of telling either story. OK, so ma is delusional, but where the hell did I get this scar?
Recently at work I was a little unsure that I was following the right procedure on something so I made a point to run everything past my boss and get his OK. I remember the conversation clearly because I was intent on his input and OK. Of course the procedure I used didn’t turn out to be the best choice so I reviewed with him my reasoning and his reponse at the time. He naturally had no recollection of the conversation. What’s worse, he totally missed my point on just how disconcerting that is. I told him I would have to start writing things down and getting his signature (as above).
As is my cackling “Bwahaha. Retribution is mine.”
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