Long time dog person/cat hater here. I have reason to believe my girlfriend has instructed her cats to be extra nice to me so that I’ll fall for their charms. Marc, the fatso, climbs on top of the bed in the morning and sits on my legs, Jack brings me a piece of string. One or other put a toy mouse in my boot. They both jump up and sit on my lap when I’m trying to watch CSI: Miami. Now I’m gone home, apparently they miss me. I shall not break my resolve in being a cat hater, no matter how damn cute her cats are.
DONUT HATE THE KITTEHZ! They will only lionize you if you do. Make nice and all will be peachy (with the addition of more fuzz on your clothes and occasional immobilization on a soft chair or couch).
You will grow to love your feline overlords. They have ways.
It’s not your girlfriend. It’s the cats. They will win you over all on their own.
And then when they have you as a confirmed, lifetime cat lover, they will show their true side. bwwhaaahaaaa!
From Meet The Parents:
Jack: Greg how come you don’t like cats?"
Greg: I don’t not like cats, I just prefer dogs, I mean, I’m just more of a dog, kind of, come home, wagging their little tails, happy to see you…
Jack: So you need that assurance do you? You prefer an emotionally shallow animal?
Greg: I…
Jack: You see Greg, when you yell at a dog, his tail will go between his legs and cover his genitals, his ears will go down. A dog is very easy to break, but cats make you work for their affection, they don’t sell out the way dogs do.
cats > dogs
Mostly because the only dog my family ever owned while I was growing up ate my toys on the first day, left chewed-up bologna under my bed, and ended up eating through its leash to run away when we took it outside to pee a week after getting it.
Dogs are large, loud, smelly, have coarse fur, can’t be litter-trained, and have more capability for destroying property. Cats are small, cute, smell fantastic, are softer to pet, don’t need to be taken for walks, and are easily taught how to scratch posts instead of furniture. Fuck dogs.
They could piss on your things, better to make nicey-nice.
The cats only like you 'cause you hate them. As soon as you decide to like them, they will immediately start doing evil things to you. That’s how cats are, you have to work to convince them they aren’t worthy of you.
Oh yea, your girlfriend is oblivious to the cats’ machinations. They’re doing this of their own accord. You have to watch them man. They’ll be all cute and nice, but then you wake up after sleeping on your side and realize one’s been sitting on your hip the whole time, watching you sleep. Don’t let your guard down man they’ll
This explains it. As you read, imagine the dog’s voice is that of Homer Simpson, and the cat has a thick gravelly Russian KGB-ish accent.
http://www.goodeatsfanpage.com/Humor/otherhumor/dog_cat_diary.html
They’re just using you.
Keep strong, brotha!
I hate cats. Hate, hate, hate, hate cats. I loathe them with an absolute passion. Whenever I’m around cats I get irrationally angry (hey, I did say it was irrational). But yeah, don’t fall for it.
Cats run away. Dogs don’t. That’s what I believed as a kid, and what I pretty much still believe. Every cat I’ve ever had I had to force to stay inside. My dogs (a chihuahua and a miniature dachshund) want back in within 5 minutes.
The more you hate them, the more they gravitate to you. Keep the faith brother.
My husband thought that he hated cats, too. He was willing to put up with mine. When our daughter moved out, and took 2 of the 3 cats in the family, the remaining cat missed having her kitty buddies. So my husband said that HE was going to get himself a cat. And he did. And about a year and a half later, he brought home another kitty. That one’s his cat, too.
You might as well give up now. You WILL be assimilated.
An Gadaí, i’m sorry, but you are SO screwed.
It’s ***already ***too late for you. :D:D:D
I welcomed my feline overlords long, long ago (insert insanely-evil laugh here) .
They shall rule you just as they already rule the universe.
Of Course they are making nice with you. If you stay, on roaster-chicken night, it means they can beg from two people & get scraps from two plates.
Cats always welcome a new [del]mark[/del] owner.
I like to sniff the back of our cat’s head. She smells so clean.
They’ll what??
Oh no! They got to EvilTOJ!
GAME OVER, MAN! GAME OVER!
I’ve fought this war for many years and I tell you than it can be won. I isn’t going to be easy though. The feline despots are everywhere and their human minions work feverishly to advance their cause.
I suggest a strong, openly defiant position and you must get your own allies. Get a python or other large, constricting snake as a bodyguard and go nowhere without it. Turn a few cats into reptile dung as a statement of your position. Eat a few yourself if your snake seems to be a bit bloated or if the fur-bearing varmints seem to be moving in with large numbers.
It’s not inevitable that you lose the war. My husband had never had a cat and wanted one,so I got him a kitten when we moved in together. By all accounts, he’s a fabulous cat; he doesn’t destroy things, he is absolutely reliable about the litter box, he’s friendly, he plays, he’s cute, he comes when called, he gets along well with other animals, etc. We’re still dog people- the cat had no effect at all. We got dogs about two years after the cat, and there’s simply no comparison. Sure, I like the cat, but even with the order of magnitude more effort the dogs require, they’re well worth it.
I agree with the people who said cats like you more when you’re not into them. Everyone’s cats like me, pretty much. They thrive on indifference.
I’m more of a dog person than a cat person. I’ve had a bunch of frankly bitchy horrible cats in my life - they don’t cuddle or comfort, they disappear until 3am when they yowl. Try and pet them and they scratch you.
Then my daughter got a kitten - and that cat (now a year old) likes me better than anyone in the house. And cuddles, and is happy to see me. And sometimes even comes when called.
I’m still more of a dog person - but the dog doesn’t cuddle well and isn’t soft and doesn’t purr. I like THIS cat.