My Grown-Up Christmas List

In My Humble Opinion
1

I need a Christmas list, and you’re just the folks to make one up for me.

I’ve suggested to my family that now that we’re all adults and out on our own, we could skip the present-giving at Christmas, but that went over like a lead balloon. (I also suggested a white elephant, and was shouted down. Never try to have a rational discussion with your siblings six bottles of wine into Thanksgiving dinner. Or was it eight?)

For Christmas, since there are a gazillion of us in my family, we draw names, and can only buy a present for the person whose name we drew, and can spend a maximum of fifty dollars. No gift certificates, and no donations to charity. Great. I have to participate, because it makes them happy, they’re family, and I’m very fortunate to have them, so I want to make them happy even when they make me nuts.

Here’s the problem: I never make up a Christmas list, because I don’t want anything for Christmas. I am in that stage of adulthood where, when I want something, I either buy it for myself or (more likely) talk myself out of buying it because I don’t really need it. (Never go shopping with me; I will spend no money, but will talk you into buying everything you even look at, and you won’t realize it happened until we’re already out at the car trying to stow your forty bags of loot which you will only then realize are all yours, and none mine. :wink: )

I need a Christmas list, because in the absence of a Christmas list inevitably I either get soap from Bath & Body Works, towels (my dad’s favorite gift, heaven only knows why), or some aromatherapy crapola. I still have three bottles of soap to go before I am through last Christmas’s offering, and if there is a power outage, I have sufficient candles to light the entire metropolitan Los Angeles area. For a week.

So suggest to me items for my Christmas list. Since I don’t really want anything for Christmas, bonus points if the suggestions are wickedly subversive.

2

have you tried wishlist.com? You can pick and chose from lots of different sites, then send the link to the lucky person who drew your name
You can also create a wish list on Amazon

3

Thanks for the suggestion. The problem isn’t in finding a place to put a list; it’s in coming up with items to put on the list. I don’t want anything for Christmas, but in my family, that’s akin to suggesting that they don’t need to put down anything about me in the Christmas letter: it’s met with blank stares and a quick change of topic.

My sister has long ago given up on this issue, after what is affectionately known as the Great Salami Caper. Now she’s a good little camper with her Christmas list.

4

then how about a special edition DVD of a favorite movie?

5

How about deliberately putting the gift-buyer into an uncomfortable situation? If you tried to cancel the whole “gift-giving” thing, it might work out well.

Perhaps something with a sexual connotation? A dildo? Flavored lubricant? A riding crop? Or something that demonstrates horrible taste, perhaps? Star Wars novels? Original art depicting Nascar ‘stars’? Crystal unicorns? Books by Ayn Rand? Or you could go for a religious angle: Some of those candles depicting Christian saints from the Mexican section of the supermarket? Membership in “Focus on the Family”? A costume so you could dress up like a Catholic bishop?

6

If you and/or other members of the family have children, put down a case of silly string. Then, on Christmas Day, give a can to each kid and let the fun commence! Just make sure to have a camera ready.

If you do this, perhaps your family will take your requests to not give presents a little more seriously…

7

I’d go for books that I really want or chocolate. Who can go wrong with chocolate? And I second the special edition dvd of your favorite movie.

Or you could always ask for clothes with a gift receipt.

8

Can’t. We draw names, so the gift-giver could be my mom. (If I knew it was my brother, this would be a whole different ballgame.) And on the off-chance mom did draw my name, I can’t be mean, because Christmas is her holiday. I still get presents from “Santa,” whose handwriting on the gift tag is remarkably like my mom’s. Plus my sister would beat the crap out of me if I spoiled Christmas for my family. So anything I do has to be subtle and, hopefully, subversive.

From my mother?!?! :eek:

I think you’re onto something here.

My parents already pray that their heathen children will return to the Church; I don’t want to give them hope or the glurge in my mailbox will increase.

I’ll have to think on the tackiness angle. There might be something to that.

9

I knew I wasn’t the only one who read the OP’s title – “Grown-Up Christmas List” to mean “Adult Christmas List.”

:smack:

Anyways - books are always nice. Jon Stewart has a new book out.

  • Peter Wiggen
10

Sounds like your family is a lot like mine. I’m greedy, though, so I just go with it. I have learned that it is nearly impossible to make people not give you presents, unless you’re bent on being so horrible that your family disowns you–which strikes me as not your style.

I’m not sure what you could tell them you want. A watch, maybe? (I don’t think I’ve ever needed to buy a watch myself, as I always get beautiful ones for presents–three Christmases running.) Or slippers? Slippers are nice. Or sex manuals. You can get The Big Bang and some other sex book whose name I disremember right now for less than fifty bucks. A couple of CDs in some music style that would make your family cringe? Some naughty undies?

You want that, or two pairs of cozy fuzzy slippers. (Does it get cool enough there to make slippers practical?)

11

Books are always very nice. [shameless plug]Do you have all the Straight Dope books? A Straight Dope coffee mug? A Straight Dope Tshirt?[/shameless plug] Seriously, a nice hardback from your favorite author, or on your favorite subject, is something you’d probably enjoy and not buy for yourself, right?

Oh, and Straight Dope books, mugs, and Tshirts make very nice gifts for other people, too.

12

Books, socks, handkerchiefs and bubble bath. I have simple needs. :slight_smile:

13

Books, CDs, DVDs.

You can’t possibly own all the ones you want.

14

At first blush, this is a great idea. I could simply put The Big Bang on my list and let the chips fall where they may. But I know myself well enough: when my mother asks for clarification, I will tell never tell her that I mean this one, but will insist that my thirst for knowledge of the universe is not yet slaked. I am a wimp.

They are de rigeur for late nights at the office, where the temperature drops into the sixties. :wink:

I’m sure I can’t, but these all tend to be impulse purchases for me. I don’t have a list of ones that I want, because I’ll either see/hear of one I want and buy it, or see/hear of one I want and talk myself out of wanting it. Yeah, I know, I’m weird.

15

Clearly, someone has not been listening to his alotment of Christmas music this year. Don’t worry – I won’t turn you in. Yet. :slight_smile:

16

And I took the title to mean “peace in the world” and “brotherly love” and crap like that…

How about picture frames? You can always use more–and how many are you bound to get? 3 or 4? That and slippers.

Surely there is something out there that has caught your eye and you have said, “that’d be nice”. You don’t have to lust after it with the heat of ten thousand suns in order for it to be a present.

PS-I hate relatives like you. Stop taking care of yourself, already! Wait until Christmas for that new DVD or book! Jeesh.
:slight_smile:

17

Very.

I keep an Amazon wishlist, though I don’t necessarily buy stuff at Amazon – it’s books, CDs, etc., I want to check out at some point, whether I’ll buy them [more likely from half.com than amazon), borrow them from the library, or whatever. I get a lot of ideas from “Whatcha reading” threads in Cafe Society, etc. – so I’m not actually in the bookstore with money burning in my pocket and and urgent need to find something to read at that exact moment, but I want to remember a title.

18

Just so I’m not misunderstood, the idea behind the above is to shift the gift receiver from yourself to others, not to be a jerk and cause a massive cleanup. I know when I was a kid, a silly string fight was tons of fun and I still remember getting it as a stocking stuffer.

In other words, put something on your list that can be shared with the family on Christmas day. Let’s say you can play an instrument. Ask for sheet music for a song that you know your mother likes (e.g., a favorite Christmas carol). On Christmas day, after the feast, perform the song in your mother’s honor. I can’t see how it wouldn’t be appreciated. Warm fuzzies all around, and it would probably be pretty memorable.

19

Do you buy gifts for non family members for their birthdays? You could be sneaky and ask for something your best friend wants. Hold on to it until their birthday and regift it!

Works in a pinch if you’re out of ideas. I’m the same as you, I don’t really ever want anything, but luckily my family allowed gift certificates. I’d use them to later buy other gifts.

20

Not a terribly subversive gift request, but what about a nice bottle of win or a good bottle of Scotch? That way you can have your cake and ea…er, drink it too. Sharing is optional, and depends on how otherwise stressful the whole event is.

I, too, tend to buy what I want or need when I want it, thanks to your hard-earned defense tax dollars providing me with a salary in excess of my rather modest wants, but I’ve always got a list of books that I can’t quite bring myself to purchase but which I’d not object to receiving as a gift, especially reference books that I may not use too often but feel that I should own: The Larousse Gastronomique, a valuable if not indespensible reference for the kitchen (although it was dear Julia’s favorite culinary reference), is slightly above the price limit, but perhaps something of that nature.

If you want to make everyone feel slightly awkward and not comfortable about commenting on the present without descending to the fine products that can be found in certain establishments on Sunset Blvd., how about this?

Or you can just alienate your whole family and be not invited to any gatherings or celebrations. It worked for me. :wink:

Stranger