My health care equipment is rated X!

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I am, once again led to the mirror, and shown that my understanding of American culture is hopelessly out of date. I am not particularly offended by sexuality, or by depictions of sexual matters in appropriately controlled environments. But I do get surprised.

As many of you know, my daughter was discharged from the hospital recently. Her care needs have changed, and I needed a few new items of home care equipment and supplies. Long story not told, I have to go outside of the hospital system to get mine, and order them piecemeal. I am pretty good at it, I must say.

So, I need foam wedges, for positioning in bed. I need good quality, with removable covers and controlled softness and support. I go looking on Ebay, and Google. I type in the words that most exactly describe what I want.

Wooooaaah!

OK, They are foam wedges. Yep, they got nice fitted removable covers. Good support, nice softness. But what the heck is that half naked woman doing on my daughter’s wedge, and why is she in that particular position? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. I’ll just try another link. Wooops! Another woman, less clothes, and . . . well, she isn’t using this product because of any deficit in joint mobility! Two more links, and I start to feel like I am cruisin’ for porno on the web!

Well, the heck with it, the product looks pretty good, and the prices are less than I would get from a hospital supply company for similar product. I am pretty sure the chick in the bikini ain’t included in the deal. So, I order a set.

Lightning fast service. Hmmmmmm. Porn businesses are better at this than the health care industry by a big margin. The product far exceeds my expectations, in terms of quality, and unexpected features. (Although the slip cover/carrying case is . . . evocatively mysterious.) This is a great buy, and I am very tempted to let the physical therapist at work in on a great new source.

Then I get to the “owners manual.”

The chick is back, with friends, and without clothes! This product is not going to be going to work with me. But, I have to give em credit, great quality, fast service, good price, and you get art!

Tris

“It was a woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.” ~ W.C. Fields ~

2

Are these the kind of wedges that let you sleep at an incline? 'cause I’m looking for one that doesn’t cost the earth.

I don’t want the chick, though.

3

Just how are you supposed to use these foam wedges in a sexual manner?

I’m afraid my mind is not quite that perverted.

4

Well, they’re for leaning on, lying on, or propping yourself or your partner up for more, ah, optimal positioning.

5

The precise reason I wanted to buy a wedge, in fact. And, all advertising aside, I am sure they will work fine for that. They are a bit narrow for a large person, but they do advertise larger wedges on the ebay store. I got mine for $151 for a pair, one long, one short.

Don’t worry, the included owner’s manual gives you that information quite explicitly. :eek:

Tris

“Not that there’s anything wrong with that.”

6

Could you send me a link to the store? As I said, I’m looking for wedges like this, and I’d be interested in seeing these. My e-mail’s in my profile.

Thanks

7

Am I the only one who didn’t realize that foam wedges had non-sexual uses? :eek:

8

Morgyn the link is in your mail.

Tris

9

No, if it makes you feel any better. :wink:

10

I must not have the touch.

Google: Foam wedge bed
Nope, all medical above-board stuff here. Only woman I see is an octagenarian.

Google: Foam wedge soft
Same here, I see medical in the short description. Hold the phone! AllmanProducts.com! yes! All Man Products! Woo Hoo!

Uh, no. Only body parts to be seen are old and female. All Man my patootie!

11

Hey Tris,

If all else fails and you have to order one with the woman from one of “those” sites, let me know. We can pool our money. You keep the wedge, I’ll keep the gal.

I know, but think of it this way: it’s like you’re getting the whole combo for half price!

Tripler
Plus, the wedge will probably respect you in the morning.

12

All seems pretty respectable to me.