They’re scheduled for the second week of February, and by that, I mean the entire week.
Also, the landlord stopped by this afternoon while I was at work to help out.
So glad to hear a week “off” is in store!! (Quotes around off because I’m sure you will not really be off, just getting some help.)
Well, the husband of the pair of friends is an LPN and has offered to take over the “tending sick person” duties so I can go back to being a wife and not a wife+nurse. Or, as it sometimes seems, NURSE+wife.
But yeah, I could use a break from nursemaid AND paying work…
Chemofarts are an abomination unto god and need to be erased from the time-space continuum. Where’s my gas mask?
Apparently chemo can make you smell like a chemical factory. Who knew?
They really do!
Re you taking calls at home - does that indicate you could ask to do some work from home, maybe? So that instead of using FMLA you’re still working but can put on laundry while on speakerphone?
I wish I had anything more positive to say. I’m so sorry this is happening to you and him.
Something you should also investigate is respite care. My experience is more with dementia patients - specifically my father - but being able to put him in the care of others one day a week saved my mother’s sanity and allowed her to de-stress and do everything she couldn’t do with him around.
And don’t wait till you’re on your last leg to access respite care. It needs to be booked well in advance very often. Book it well ahead of when you think you’ll need it.
Then…USE IT!
You’re his best and strongest advocate, he NEEDS you to be on your game and healthy. NO ONE IS GOING TO DO THIS FOR YOU. It’s going to have to come from you! By valuing your own health/mental health, and doing what’s required to keep it in good order.
Nope, can’t work from home - can’t stock shelves or run a forklift over the phone, or help people find stuff in the store. My job is completely incompatible with telecommuting.
Also, we do not have a washer or dryer at home. Our building’s water system is fine for drinking water, cooking, toilet flushing, and showers but could not handle water-thirsty appliances like washers and dish washers. So all my laundry is done at the laundromat. The one I use has a drop-off service, so they’re doing my laundry, not me. Often, I drop it off on my way to work and pick it up on my way back home, so that works out pretty well.
Love how it talks about notifying “your wastewater treatment professional” with no clue of who to actually call.
((((Broomstick))))
The thing is, well-and-septic is still more rural and folks with that system are probably less likely to have a “wastewater treatment professional” than folks in suburbs with city water. I doubt the guy in the honey wagon is any more knowledgeable about this issue than I am.
Yeah. Also, most “wastewater treatment professionals” are concerned with the effect that a waste stream will have on the functioning of their wastewater treatment plant and its effect on the quality of their effluent (flowing out of -) stream. That’s not close to the effect that a waste stream will have on a septic tank and percolation field. The percolation field, particularly, can end up concentrating hazardous materials.
I’d go the other way and contact someone who deals with hazardous waste. In California, that would be the Department of Toxic Substances Control. A first shot at googling for Indiana gets the Office of Pollution Prevention and Technical Assistance and the Indiana Pollution Prevention Program at Purdue. The second one looks like it’s agricultural. The first is apparently part of the Indiana Department of Environmental Management. Their website’s search function is not helpful regarding this question. Among other things, it looks like the rules are in the process of being updated.
I’d try phoning: Office of Pollution Prevention and Technical Assistance
Indiana Department of Environmental Management
105 South Meridian Street
P.O. Box 6015
Indianapolis, IN 46225
317-232-8172
If they can’t answer the basic three questions, they should be able to find you someone else to ask. The questions:
Will this material interfere with the functioning of my septic tank?
Will this material be a danger to the next person to empty my septic tank?
Will this material be hazardous if it builds up in my soil or enters the groundwater?
Sorry you’re having to deal with this.
Even if the answer to all of the above is “yes, it’s a hazard” there isn’t really anything I can do about it. Even if I bagged all his waste that would just move the hazardous waste problem to the dumpster and the guy who empties it.
According to the oncologist’s office, the “answer” is have the person getting chemo use a separate bathroom (if you have one!) and flush the toilet twice after each use. Likewise, they do special handling of chemo-soiled linens in the hospital, but for the householder the advice is “separate chemo loads and other loads”. Even in the hospital, the toilets flush to municipal waste streams.
I don’t think anyone has really thought this through.
This week, he’s back in the hospital so it’s a moot point.
You know you’re spending too much time at the hospital when not one but ALL the reception desk people know your name, the patient’s name, and what room you’re going to.
Sorry he’s back in the hospital; I hope it’s nothing major.
Blood transfusion and severe weakness, which is probably related to the anemia that required a blood transfusion. Also, related to eating almost nothing. And medication side effects.
I’m told that in cases like his with an aggressive cancer that’s being hit hard with “old school” chemotherapy this is not an unusual occurrence.
He’s also having unusual levels of pain even for a cancer patient (!?!) which may or may not be related to the spinal damaged caused by his spina bifida.
Husband is doing better and actually managed to eat about half a normal lunch today (he also claimed the same for breakfast). The doc said she moved the next dose of chemo to Monday to give him another couple days of recovery from the last one and emphasized that the indications are that the cancer is feeling even more shitty than he is. He was able to sit up for about 4 hours today and engaged with various people (medical staff, visitors) which is a sign of returning strength.
Some more updates - after a week of comedy of errors, we finally had the home bedside commode delivered to the hospital room and I took it home. It’s small enough to move easily, sturdy enough for a shaky adult, and covered by our insurance. Can also double as a raised seat for the regular toilet if that becomes a good idea. Sure as hell beats our current emergency toilet (5 gallon bucket lined with a trash bag with an old toilet seat on top, because I just ain’t balancing my middle-aged ass over the narrow plastic edge of the bucket anymore, nuh-uh, no way no more). Covered by the insurance as a medical necessity.
We got our official letters saying that our health insurance is continued for another year. I sort of already knew that, what with them NOT kicking the husband out of the hospital February 1st, but it’s nice to have the Official Notice. Can’t remember if I mentioned it earlier and tonight I’m too tired/lazy to hunt back through the thread, but due to a bureaucratic screw up we almost got dropped from the program (and I almost had a heart attack when I found out). Despite the reputation of government workers, both the customer service rep on the phone and the ladies down at the local office were sympathetic, kind, knowledgeable, and got me straightened out in under three hours. The caseworker was even thoughtful enough to double-check that my benefits were also OK. Turns out they had the same problem and she fixed them at the same time when I was clearly only thinking of my husband and not myself. So, kudos to them, they’re a credit to their profession and deserving of more respect than they get.
The landlord is helping to build a custom set of stairs so when the husband does come home he’ll be able to get into and out of bed easier on his own.
Think we’ll be able to get all the monthly bills paid without the drama of last month.
Oh, and I got a full night of uninterrupted sleep last night. Bliss!
Spent four hours with my husband today without time pressures. Today felt pretty good for me and I’ve got some optimism back
We’re here, Broomstick.
I’m glad to hear you had a relatively good day. Hope this keeps up.
Broomstick, I’m glad you got some rest, and it sounds like Mr. B is doing better, too!
That chemo diarrhea is horrible. It felt like liquid fire shooting out my butt. Of all things, I hope they gave him medication to ease it if it hasn’t passed (so to speak).
The opiate-induced constipation is doing battle with the chemo-diarrhea, resulting in something almost (but entirely not at all) normal.