My husband NEVER hears anything I say

I can be standing 2 feet away, talking about something, and he hears nothing that comes from my mouth. He’s aware of everything else in the room. Sometimes he appears to be listening, unless the tv is on, and a portion of it is visible from where he’s standing. He can be completly ignoring the tv. But as soon as I start talking, his eyes start moving towards the tv. If I accuse him of not listening, he’ll look at me for a few seconds, then his eyes start drifting toward the tv again, (car commercials and cartoons are the biggest culprit, but anything will do.)

Just now, I went to give him my ATM card so he could get the money to pay for a perscription. The perscription is $35. I told him to go ahead and get $50, since it has to be in $10 incriments, plus I’d have some extra for spending money. He said “okay”. Then he came and told me 15 mins. later, that since it has to be in $10 incriments, he’ll get out $40, unless I want more for spending money. :rolleyes:

Sometimes, if what I tell him, is unusually interesting, like a weird news story, or an upcomming event. A tiny fragment will reach his brain, and actually get processed. Then 2 days later, he’ll tell me the same thing, saying somebody else told him about it. Of course, he won’t be able to remember who told him.

Take the opportunity to start feeding him dis-information. See how long it takes for it to come back to you and compare it to the original hogwash to see if there are embellishments.

I always used to catch mine out by tossing in some throwaway line involving martians. Never failed that a few hours later, he’d come back and say… “What was that about the martians??”

my BF claims that it is a proven fact that men only hear 25% of what women say. i realized it is also true of men, because he can only seem to remember 25% of what he says as well.

i would call him on it, but it often works in my favour. :wink:

Hey! I heard that!

Women talk about a lot of things men just don’t care about. For example, women can talk about the drapes for half an hour. Find me a man who can talk about drapes for more than 30 seconds who isn’t an interior decorator.

Perhaps you talk too much? My ex-wife used to natter on endlessly about crap I had no interest in, regardless of what I said. After awhile, you just start tuning out everything, because the person is boring the shit out of you. Sorry.

my BF claims that his exes couldn’t coax him to talk more.

i can’t get him to shut-up.

incidentally, i’m falling out of the I-Remember-Everything-You-Say category to the I-Hear-Ninety-Percent-and-Falling category.

25%, here i come.

Actually, I’m not a big talker. If I did “natter” I could understand his disinterest. It’s gotten to the point, that if I need to tell him something important, I email him at work.
He also does it to his mom. But not other women.

Oh, puh-lease! I know guys who can prattle on at great length about the texture of housepaint. Or worse, baseball stats! :stuck_out_tongue:

My husband is a little more perplexing yet. I will say something to him, and he will respond to it! In an appropriate fashion! Some time later, it will become clear that he didn’t hear a single thing I said.

For insight on this, let us turn to the wisdom of the situation comedy.

It is the night before the wedding.

Mother, to Daughter Remember dear, men never listen, so you have to say everything 3 or 4 times to make sure they hear you.

Father, to Son Remember kid, women talk all the time, so you only have to listen to about 1/2 of what they say.

Did you say something?

Why? Did you hear something?

I know that the mister can (usually) hear me when I talk because, like norinew’s husband, he often responds to what I’ve said. It’s just that he can’t remember a single bit of information that comes out of my mouth. Like hillbilly queen’s husband, he’ll recycle whatever I told him and tell it back to me a few days later. He swears that he tunes out everyone, not just me, on a regular basis. For the sake of my ego, I must believe him.

Well, you know what Al Bundy would say, “Kids, I tune out your mother because if I listened to her then I might actually have to have sex with her.”

You need an ear to chew on, you know where to reach me.

::::Makes note of fact that man with hot wife ignores her, perhaps that’s what I’ve been doing wrong. Will have to ignore next GF profusely to see if that will inspire her to stay around longer than six months.::::

No worries Foxy, it’s just we are in such deep thought most of the time.
It’s hard to upload other data while our RAM is being used on important stuff.
Sometimes it’s redirected to an ether based page. Thing is it’s an unreliable server and often the history is cleared before we get a chance to process it.
You might try rerouting to a better connection.
Burn dinner keep burning his dinner each time he tunes you out.
If he says anything just say since you don’t seem to be there no one was watching it.
<Runs from room covers head>

Hey, did I tell you guys the story about the lady who was complaining that her husband never listened to her?

Its quite funny. No idea what she was talking about, of course.
Or who told me that story.
:smiley: :stuck_out_tongue:

Sorry, I just had to…

add “passive-aggressive” to your language

Bucking the trend, I’m going to make an attempt at a serious reply to the OP.

I don’t know about your husband, but I am very task oriented with regard to my mental focus. Counterintuitively, I have great difficulty focusing on anything in the presence of multiple stimula, unless I make a mental effort (hence making it a task), at which point I filter everything else out.

As an example, if I am reading something, watching TV intently, working or fixing something around the house, you can quite likely get a verbal response from me that sounds reasonable, despite the fact that I won’t remember it, and in fact am not actually diverting my attention to you at the time. Being hyperfocused like that allows me to get things done despite external distraction, and it’s nothing personal, but is rather just how my mind tends to work. Go on automatic - (“Yes, Dear.” syndrome), subconsciously doing everything possible to prevent being pulled out of that primary focus.

If, on the other hand, you get me to stop what I am doing, pulling me out of that hyperfocused state and specifically get me to interact with you as my primary task, in so doing moving whatever it was I was doing to the periphery of my attention, I will remember it completely and functionally, although I may resent being pulled away from what I was doing. That is why you need to prioritize things before you try to talk to me. Pick up the drycleaning? Whatever. The house is on fire? Stand in front of the TV until I am forced to interact with you on a conscious level.

Perhaps your husband operates with a similar attention deficit/hyperfocus pattern of behaviour?