I have a baby, and a husband, and I am DREADING the flu season.
Not for myself: I’ll get a flu shot allright. But we have a six month old. And a sick baby, as you all know, is heartbreaking , hard work with no sleep. But, a hundred times worse is a sick baby with a husband expects time off from household and baby duties, just when I’m feeling not a hundred percent myself. That’s a nightmare.
I know my husband when he has a cold or the flu, and I can’t help but hate him, a little, when he gets sick. It’s not so much that he expects to be pampered. But when he is sick, he reverts back into a sort of bachelor who acts like he’s living in the house all by himself.
He lays on the couch, or in bed, all the time, dressed in an increasingly smelly ratty bathrobe or not dressed at all. He doesn’t shower. He litters the house with used tissues, empty bags of ramen noodles and chips, and dirty cups and plates. He strews around read magazines, watched dvd’s and played videogames. It is not that he expects me to pick up after him; but if I don’t, the house is going to look, feel and smell like…well, like a filthy dorm room. I can’t stand that, I really can’t.
And when I ask him to do his chores, he says he’s too sick. Which he is, he’s not lying about that. So I have to do it all.
And the minute he feels *any *better, he gets back to work. His philosophy is: “Always return sniffing, so they know you weren’t faking”. So he and I don’t even get to enjoy that pleasant time off where you’re still sick, but not feeling bad anymore, and are able to move around the house a bit.
We have an agreement where we both work 4 days a week. The household, grocery shopping and cooking is my responsibility, and the baby is his. We just get by this way, barely. But I know I can’t do it all, and care for three persons. I’ll go mad. I went a bit mad earlier this year when all three of us had a cold, and I was the one who was the least sick. I don’t want a repeat of that.
I’ve asked him, begged him, *ordered *him, (and yeah, that didn’t work) to get a flu shot this year. He refuses adamantly. Says flu shots aren’t proven to work, and that the only reason they are so widespread in the US is so employers can force their employees not to miss work. And he said the result is more overworked personel, because workers don’t have those two weeks when work is forced to the background. It looks like he sees the flu as a legitimate vacation, a vacation he pays for by being sick.
But in this case, I feel I have a reason, more legitimate then any employer, to want my husband to get a flu shot. Am I wrong?
And, to lay the groundwork, can anyone point me to some reliable info on how effective flu shot are, and about the dangers, if any?