Right. Because the Big-3 automakers are a model of management success.
To quote Snoop Dogg, shouldn’t have told her that, you should have smacked her, Black.
There is a different dynamic between an abusive female boss and male employee than a male boss and male employee. With two men, there is the implied “if you continue to speak to me like that, I will punch you in the face.” Even though you can’t really. Crazy women bosses sort of take on the role of an abusive stepmom, shrill schoolteacher or shrewish wife. So the male employee is left helpless and impotent cowing to this lunatic skreetching at them.
I had a similar situation at my job. Not so much the hours, but my female boss was an abusive jerk. One time she berated be in front of the rest of the management team because my team had not provide some list of projects she thought I were supposed to provide. I told her this was the first I’d heard of it to which she started screaming at me that I had been there 4 months and “how I did I think these things get done around here?” In my stern “who do you think you are talking to bitch?” tone (kind of a cross between how you would speak to an unruly child and the tone and facial expression you might have if someone told you a dinosaur was in the parking lot eating your car) I told her “look [bitch]*! I have no idea how things get done around here [you moron] because at no time in the past 4 months have you sat [your fat ass] down with me as my boss and explained them [so suck it]!” Oddly enough, I barely saw her after that and she was nothing but sunshine. Then again, it could have been her Lithium cycle.
And then I reported the incident to HR, basically providing objective details, how it made me “feel” and a list of people who witnessed it. I also ran it by one of the directors in the room first to make sure he agreed with my perception of how things went down.
I also reported every incident that I witnessed her do this behavior to anyone else.
Here’s the deal. Big company’s tend not to fire people without cause and they tend to not like abusive managers creating potential lawsuits for them. Also, your husband keeping or losing his job is not really dependent on his ability to kowtow to her unreasonable expectations. If anything, it will appear as weakness and just trigger some sort of instintual “bitch” instinct and she will peck and pester him until he finally snaps.
My advice is as follows:
-Do every task she asks to the letter. No more, no less. Get instructions in writing and make sure they are clear. Don’t give her any excuse to get on your case.
-As there will inevitably be a time where she will fly off the handle because she wrote one thing but meant something else, don’t react to her tirades.
-Be firm and assertive. Don’t be like “oh I’m sorry” or “I can’t meet your expectations”. You can meet her expectations and it’s not her fault she can’t provide good coaching and guidance.
-Be the unbreakable rock of pragmatic male reason and logic. Focus on the subject and not her emotionally driven attempts to belittle or intimidate you:
“Do you even want to be here?”
“Of course, however I am trying to understand [subject].”
“I’m not sure if this is working out.”
“Well, that’s your decision, however [then focus conversation on the subject at hand]”
-Document everything. Whenever she acts in any way that is innappropriate and unprofessional, write down as much detail as possible, what was said, how it made you feel and who witnessed the exchange. Report it to HR in an email. Just say, you don’t really care what they do about it, you just want it on record.
-Look for another job. Tough to do with a full work schedule, part time school and a crazy boss. But definitely spend a few hours a week networking and sending out resumes.
- not actually spoken but added to convey inflection