I guess the biggest problem is that he doesn’t know WHAT he wants to do.
Basically, he has a degree in political science and has been working as the district manager for a newspaper (he managed carriers and does some sales and marketing) since he left college. He’s not UNHAPPY there, but he’s not happy either, but he doesn’t know where or what else he could do.
We’ve discussed him working as a claims adjustor, which he seems interested in (my dad’s an agent, and said he thinks he’d be good at it), but right now, there’s only one position as a trainee open in our area (which he’ll obviously apply for). But from then on, he’s looked at CareerBuilder and HotJobs and Monster, and he’s a little lost.
He’s got five years of management experience, which everyone says is great because he can go anywhere, but we’re not seeing it on the job boards! He was interested in possibly doing something with mortgages or something similar, and we’ve found a couple of positions, but still - it seems like what’s out there are those awful start-up agencies that he doesn’t want.
Help. We’re both beginning to get a little discouraged - we’re trying to get ahead moneywise, but it won’t happen if he stays at his current job.
Not that this will help much…but he seems very iffy, almost as if the discussions he has with you and others (say, your dad) lead him into thinking those kinds of positions might be ok, might be fun, might be doable.
I know, because I’ve lived through that myself.
Has he (or have you both) sat down and really thought about what he’d really like to do?
Reason I ask, is because with his experience (and, I’m assuming, work ethic) he’d probably do quite well if he found a job that he really enjoyed. (Thing is, he may “enjoy” his current job, but is he really enjoying it? Is it stimulating him intellectually and/or physically?)
Even if he takes a step backward (in salary or seniority), ultimately you both should benefit if he finds his true calling.
not that I’ve found my own true calling, but I have found a job that stimulates me
Job boards aren’t always the best guide to what jobs are really open. If your husband really wants to be a claims adjustor, he should do some research into companies and find out how people typically find jobs as claims adjustors. For example, is there a particular time of the year when companies are apt to look for trainees?
Perhaps it would be wise to speak with someone regarding career counseling. Tinkleberry does just that and has helped people to really find what they want to do. It certainly worked for me. Good luck though.
I think that’s the problem. We mention something and he says “Yeah, that sounds good.”, but i don’t want to feel like I’m pushing him into something he doesn’t want, you know? Problem is, he doesn’t really KNOW what he wants to do. I’m trying to help by finding him interesting looking positions, and I he tells me if he’s not interested - so it’s not like he’s going to look at them just because I say so, you know? So that’s a plus.
He’s just not happy at his current job, and he knows that, and I know that. So we’ll see.
DLG, I’m working on my certification in career counseling (I need to get my professional resume writer certification first, which I should have in a month or two), but I may email inkle to get her thoughts, and we may hire out her services.
Thanks, folks. I think we’re both just nervous - and I think he’s kind of unsure of what he wants to do, which is why I’m trying to give him ideas.
Ok, I’m going to project the hell out of this from my own life…but damn if he doesn’t sound like me. So here we go.
I still don’t know what I want to do. There are times when I hate my job. But at least I’ve found something that intellectually is stimulating, and pays pretty well, so I think I’ve found a decent, for now, compromise.
But before I found this industry/niche, I was just like that (and still am). I would be unhappy with my job, no matter the pay, but have no idea what I wanted to do. But I never took the time to look inside myself and go for my dream. Instead, my wife would make subtle or not-so-subtle suggestions, and if they even had a glimmer of interest to me I’d glom on to them.
Not because they’d make me happy, but because they would a) make other people happy, and thus get them off my back, or b) because it’s what I thought society would find a respectable job (because I didn’t think my current job was respectable).
Well, I say “screw that” (in theory if not if full practice). Unless your husband is able to find something that he truly finds himself, and/or finds himself enamored of, there will always be resentment and unsettledness and unhappiness.
It sounds to me like perhaps your husband needs some time alone - without you or parents or friends - to try and delve into himself and divine what it is he’d like doing. And it may not be a specific job - it may be a particular role or set of tasks. For instance, one could love writing but never be a novelist, instead a copywriter or technical writer or journalist. And the reinforcement that his choice is ok. Period. (unless it’s “serial killer” )
But what always hung over me - and still does, to some extent - is that I feel like my job decisions are predicated upon how my wife/parents/friends will view that decision, rather than what it is I want out of life.
Ok - enough projecting. It’s probably all wrong, anyway
No, I appreciate this very much. I want him to do something that he loves. I want him to be happy and I don’t want to push him into anything. And I really think he would be good at anything he does - he’s a smart guy for heaven’s sake - he was on Jeopardy. I’m starting to realize tht he needs to figuire this out for himself, and until then, we will get through money-wise.
Here is a good way to job hunt if you’re moving to a new field and don’t have any contacts -
Decide on the field you like - maybe you’re a book lover - then find the biggest trade show associated with that field - in this case the American Library Association Convention or Book Expo America. On their websites will be a list of vendors exhibiting at the conference and probably links to their websites.
Just start clicking and see who’s hiring and who’s in your area.
If he works for a newspaper, he might enjoy selling advertising. I did this for a few years. It wasn’t terribly hard sell, there was a lot of keeping customers happy by getting to know their business and getting their ads to run w/o screwing up. If he’s with a decent size paper it can pay pretty well.