My inconsiderate neighbors.(Long Winded and ranty)

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

There isn’t enough rage for a pit thread, but I don’t have anyone else to complain to. There’s my wife, but she’s more annoyed than I - so she complains to me, and I force you guys to listen to my ramblings. Mostly, things are good. I’ve got a new job that pays well and my wife is able to do her previous office job from home. The bad is that we’ve moved a good 400 miles to be in this situation and are in a neighbor hood unfamiliar to both of us. I’m really trying to make the best of it by keeping optimistic, but it’s difficult with the neighbors that we have.

The quick background is that I had been unemployed for almost two years. The first year was by choice, the second year was by virtue of no one wanted to hire an engineer that has a one year + gap in employment. So, I broadened my search area and landed the job that required our move. We went from a large 4 bedroom 3 bath ranch house with a 2.5car garage on a ½ acre of land to a tiny duplex with a shared wall and small yard. This is only temporary until our house sells, but until then, we gotta put up with minor inconveniences.

First, there’s the yard. There are families with kids on both sides of us so our yards are all adjoined. I thought that would be a plus since we have young kids. But, not so much. The kids use all the backyards as one big backyard. So, at anytime, I can look out of my back patio and see kids sitting or standing in my yard. On the surface, it’s really not that big of deal. It’s not something I’m accustomed to since I’ve never had neighbors so close, but I would have liked to have been shown a little consideration. If you want to use my yard, fine – but ask. The any of the kids’ parents had just asked if I minded them in my yard, I would have told them “of course not!” and all would have been well. But, they just assumed that my yard was their yard and they have no problems scattering toys and shoes in my yard. Those things get picked up at the end of the day, but it’s just annoying.

But, then I saw two of them eating popsicles. Somehow, I had a feeling that they would not see the need to properly dispose of the popsicle sticks when they were done. Sure enough, the first one to finish set his stick down in my yard. So, what to do? Should I ask him to pick it up assuming he’d leave it there? Or wait and see if he grabs it when he leaves. Well, just as I’m wondering, the other kid puts his popsicle stick vertically in the ground and steps on it to force it into the dirt. Obviously, he intended on leaving it there, so I had to go out and ask him to pick it up. Both boys seemed started and embarrassed that I had caught them, and the quickly grabbed their litter and scooted off my yard – at least for a few hours.

Then, there’s the basketball hoop. It sits in the driveway next door which is pretty much right outside our bedroom window. Kids are out there shooting hoops til past 10PM. It’s loud. It makes it hard to sleep. And I can’t wear earplugs because I don’t want my infant son to wake up crying and me not know. I really don’t want to be the new guy in the neighborhood complaining about everything, but it’s just inconsiderate.

Then, there’s the mirror on my car. It was parked on the street and I woke up one morning to find that the driver’s side mirror had been struck and broken. I don’t know what pisses me off more. Either someone intentionally vandalized my car or someone hit my mirror with their mirror as they drove by and couldn’t be bothered to leave a note. The road I live on is a loop. There’s no reason to drive on it unless you are going to one of the houses on the road. So, if it was a hit and run, it was one of my neighbors or neighbor’s friends. The replacement part was only $43 delivered, so it’s not like it’s going to break me. But, it was a dick move by whoever did it.

But, the inconsideration is what I’m pissed about. It’s that I drug my family 400 miles across state lines for employment, and my neighbors are making my wife regret moving here. And, since we moved here for me to get employed, it’s ultimately my fault. She’d never say that, but I can tell she wishes we would have never had to move. Once our house sells we can get something bigger with more room between us and our neighbors. I just need that to happen soon since all of this has just been the first month.

I’m not looking for advice or sympathy. I don’t know what I hope to accomplish by posting this. I just know I feel better have had a chance to bitch to the interwebs.

2

My mother was telling me about when my family moved into the Ancestral HOme in 1972, the whole block was like that with no fences (some properties had trees or hedges to mark the boundaries but nothing more solid than that). They had the same problem with kids tearing through all the yards, stomping the gardens and making godawful noise. The neighbor opposite our backyard was the first to put up a fence and she said that after he did, every yard was fenced off within a couple years. I guess good fences really do make good neighbors.

3

Welcome to surburbia.

I’m like you. I like people I just don’t like living next to them.

4

The nicest thing about the place I live is that there are “no neighbors”. That is, I can look out any window, or off of any porch, and not see a soul. We are also the last house on a private drive. Heaven. Mowing the grass is a pia, but hey.

5

I sympathize, as we have shared-wall dick neighbors too. But the dickest of them (the gangsta son-in-law) recently moved out and the remaining dicks are not as dicky.

When they get too noisy and inconsiderate, I chant this mantra over and over: “You can’t make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear.”

6

As been said, that’s what happens when you live in duplex/town home situation. Deal with it until you can sell your house and move.

Best wishes on the house sale.

7

I figured there’d be at least one person flaming me for being the old “get off my lawn” guy. Glad to see people share my frustration. I’d love to have fences. My daughter is two and like to run around in the yard, but when 10-15 YOs are playing a game of football through my yard, I have to decide if I want to deal with getting those “damn kids off my lawn” or trying to find something else to entertain my daughter.

I had neighbors at my last place, but it was rare for anyone to walk in my yard. And since I was on a Cul de Sac, I couldn’t see the other houses from my back patio either. I guess I just didn’t appreciate how good i had it.

I know my house has shown a few times. And the market is good where it’s at. Hopefully this won’t be an issue for too much longer.

Some of it I can understand as being just what it’s like. Littering in my yard and damaging my car is not acceptable, though.

8

It sounds like you handled the litter problem just right, although you might have to repeat it a few times.

There should definitely be a sign on the hoop that says “No ball playing after 10 pm.” Our local ones do. Make a sign and put it up. Remind people if they’re playing after 10:00.

Put some potted plants/planters around the perimeter of your yard, or at least the sides of it. Making a visual barrier will help keep the kids out. You can always add metal fence posts like this and a roll of PVC fencing for really cheap; it’ll look like you’re trying to protect your plants, not keep out the kids. You can take it all this with you when you move.

9

So you’re in a duplex and there’s no fence up, correct? How is it your yard then? I think it’s everyone’s yard, and there inlies the problem.

10

I’m really going to go out on a limb here since I don’t know either of you, but give her more credit. I know how you feel. And you’re right to do so. Even if you aren’t directly responsible for the problems, knowing that you’re (or your job is) the proximate cause of the unpleasantness is a sign that you’ve got responsibility.

But your wife might not feel that way at all. I know, you said she’d never say it, but maybe that’s because she thinks enough of you or your relationship that it will never cross her mind to fault you for it.

I can hope it’s this way for you and if I’m wrong, sorry for overstepping.

Besides, as you said, once your other place sells, you can take steps to resolve this. It’s not like it will be forever. Hang in there.

11

needscoffee
I really don’t care that much that there’s kids in my yard. It’s the not asking to use it and littering that pisses me off. I’ve only got a 6 months lease here, so with any luck, my house will be sold by then and I’ll be out of here. Just gotta deal with it til then.

Well, there’s a section of the yard that I am responsible for mowing. I call that my yard. And yeah, the neighbors sure think it’s everyone’s yard too.

12

Thanks Lare.

It’s not like I think she’s going to divorce me or anything. It has just put a strain on things in addition to the strain of moving and getting settled in a new place and packing and adjusting to smaller living areas and all the other things involved with such a long move. It’s just one more set of hassles that I can do nothing but complain about.

That’s the only thing that’s keeping my sane. It’s not permanent!

13

Right. So if your relationship supports it, stop worrying about that one particular hassle.

You might even thank her for her consideration. :slight_smile:

14

See, that’s the problem. You think it’s your yard and yet there’s no physical barrier or indication that says it’s yours. You can either spell it out with the landlord (which, if it’s not in your lease, you probably don’t have much to stand on) or keep on keeping on.

And I say that as someone who lived in a hotel for 3 months while their house was finished. It was brutal. But it sucks worse to be “that guy” who thinks he deserves more than he’s paying for, ya know?

15

This sounds like an adjustment thing on your part and the part of your family, in that, had you move to a similar situation in which you came from, there’d be no problem, but you moved to a completely different environment. I’d guess the folks that have been living there see it as the ‘norm’ and don’t see the problem. Hopefully, it’s a short-lived situation and you’ll be able to soon move to a more suitable and comfortable environment. Best of luck!

16

[quote=“lindsaybluth, post:14, topic:587526”]

See, that’s the problem. You think it’s your yard and yet there’s no physical barrier or indication that says it’s yours. You can either spell it out with the landlord (which, if it’s not in your lease, you probably don’t

17

What the heck? No, just because you don’t have anything marking your lawn does not make it everybody’s lawn. That’s the weirdest thing I’ve ever heard. I would never dream of going on someone else’s yard as a kid, even though there were no physical barriers. Only if I knew the other person would I do it.

Fences are for keeping your dogs in or something. This sounds very, very strange to me.

18

Not really strange- it’s just another example of how different places have different norms. Where I live there are fences, and no one appears in my yard without asking permission. Where my brother-in-law lives, there are no fences , the yards are bounded by trees and other plantings ,and kids may go into another yard to retrieve a ball or something, but that seems to be it. When I was a kid, my uncle lived in a place with no division between yards. The kids were all over everyone’s yard, but mostly stayed out of areas where someone was had guests or a barbeque.

19

I think it’s strange for the kids to be all over the yard. Even if the OP is only leasing the duplex it IS his yard for the time he is renting. I am renting my apartment currently in a 2 family home and we have use of the backyard. My landlord actually asked my permission in regards to something pertaining to the yard! I thought that was very nice and not necessary but just goes to show something in the opposite direction.

The kids are being disrespectful and I really would not like to be in a neighborhood where that was accepted. I also have a toddler and would want to use the damn yard!

20

seems the hampsters ate my post. I was trying to say that everyone is responsible for mowing their own yard. even without boundaries everyone knows whose yard is whose. its not like im pissed that the neighbor kid was 2’ across the line, they are all rout