I tell people to do the things that I was told to do.
SSG Schwartz
Oh, this reminds me of the ‘describe your job in single-syllable words’ thread from some time ago. It was a hoot.
I fill out other peoples joba pplpications for them. Oh, yeah and I’m a salesman too. OO OO OO, I’m also a baysitter sometimes.
I am an Air Force Recruiter.
I drive around and throw stuff at houses.
Try to find the truth on a tight deadline.
I used to be a vampire. Now I just play with blood.
I babysit other peoples’ computer hardware.
(Data Center Tech)
sell things
count money
bring money to bank
spend money
somewhere along the line “3) profit” disappeared.
Drive from Point A to Point B.
Don’t hit anything.
I prevent cholera epidemics.
I put electronic parts in plastic bags. I also copy numbers from one piece of paper to another by hand.
I come up with cool ideas for dungeon encounters, then get headaches when I have to also figure out how to implement them.
My job description might be: Start work on one project, nearly complete it, then be told to stop that one and start on another, repeat ad infinitum, then explain why your performance is shit.
I ensure that non-conforming product is sequestered and not delivered to customers. In fact my job is to ensure any and all non-conformances in my company are documented and fixed, with particular focus on root cause and continuous improvement. I audit other’s work to ensure this happens, and other people audit my work to ensure I’m doing my job properly.
How’s that for suckage?
(I’m a lab employee that is also a phlebotomist.)
Phlebotomy: Patient-at-ease-er. Pay no attention to the funny girl behind the needle. (Oh, you hardly noticed? Great!)
Phone answerer: Find out what the doctor wrote. Figure out what he didn’t understand about lab tests (especially bad in the summer - beginning of residency). Blood cultures again? OK. No, you ordered that wrong. No, you did. Yes, I know it’s ASAP, but you ordered it ASAP for two hours from now. Yes really. Yes, I’ll send someone up now. PEEVE: Yes, I realize that you need to start antibiotics, and no, we haven’t drawn all the cultures. Yes, I realize that you want to start the antibiotics. YES, I REALIZE THAT THERE ARE ANTIBIOTICS AND THE PATIENT HAS A FEVER. Until I perfect my evil robot phlebotomist army, you will have to wait until the next person comes back from their other draws (on the person that’s heading for OR and the person who’s having a stroke) and I will point them in your direction. I am currently taking calls for all the other floors of the hospital, which do exist, otherwise you’d be in a cloud of dust, so no I cannot just run up myself. (Unless your patient is currently in arrest. Then I have coat on and out the door.)
In a nutshell, I guess it would be: Tell me what you want, then DON’T TOUCH THE COMPUTER. I’ll take care of it. If your computer says it’s cancelled, call me first, before bitching to someone else.
(Luckily, I’ve been at my job long enough to have people realize that I know quite a bit, and trust me.)
(This is kind of BBQ-pitt-y, but I didn’t swear and it made me feel better about today.)
To take the heat when my guys screw up and give credit when they do well. And to do my best to prevent my boss from giving too many conflicting directions.
I’m a manager of a software team.
I cast dreams on a screen.
(CG artist)
Cat herder.
IRL - admin assistant in an organization that requires many, many travel arrangements, meeting arrangements, minute taking and general gettings from here to there and NO ONE seems to be able to read an airline ticket or an agenda.
Make that cat herder in chief.
I throw applications at servers and workstations using a catapult from long range, and hope things stick. Sometimes I bundle up applications for throwing, too. I setup and fix the catapults, when they break.
Si
Mostly make sure my Manager’s problems go away. Plus what ever else needs to be done. Plus web page design, order maintain ADPE, setup and modify computer system access accounts…